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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Drama Scripts  /  Tonya's Ghost
Posted by: Don, August 24th, 2019, 11:39am
Tonya's Ghost by Clinton Green - Drama - After a failed suicide attempt, a fragile man moves in with his estranged, abusive father, forcing them both to confront their involvement with a neighborhood girl's disappearance. 104 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Marcela, August 27th, 2019, 3:41pm; Reply: 1
There's some nice writing in the script, such as 'A woman's arm rises from beneath the sheet, drapes over his
sunken chest'
I'm getting a little confused between the characters, especially with Derek/Diamond, will try to start reading it again! M.
Posted by: Marcela, August 27th, 2019, 4:26pm; Reply: 2

Okay, one of the reasons I was getting confused is because Derek and Cole both seem to look the same. Both of them are black and underweight. It’s difficult to distinguish between them. Only later on I realised they were a father and son.
On page 4, Luther and River are mentioned. Who are Luther and River? Is it important to mention them?
Overall, I like the script and your style of writing. The reappearance of Tonya's ghost wants me to keep reading so that I can find out what had happened.
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