See Yourself by Simon Parker - Short, Drama - After a man is killed on the side of the road, as a ghost he follows his killers as they go back to his house. Needing to protect his wife and child he possesses his wife and fights them off. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Cool story, though it reminded me a little of GHOST (Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore).

Also your log line gives away the whole story. It needs to be way more vague. Just a teaser to get the readers interested.

Maybe something like: "A man develops a new appreciation for his life and family after he has an encounter with the unspeakable."

One last thing. Do ghosts sweat? :)

I like this cool little story.

The idea is a bit like the Ghost thingymigid as mentioned.

Couple of things to note: When John speaks it's (Aside)
When John sees something:                        His POV:

We know what he is doing, so no need to keep stating his name, beforehand.

Always show don't tell. if you were watching this in visual form we can't see what he's thinking.

How the transition works, is  tongue in cheek.

However, I enjoyed reading this, since the flow was good and it kept me guessing.

Another thing - Title pages are not numbered.

Hope this helps and thanks for sharing.

As to your logline, I agree that it needs to be tightened up a bit.  I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but that's never stopped me before LOL.  How about something like this:

A man’s killers plot further evil against his family,  unaware that his ghost has a plan to stop them.

FYI: Simon (prolific writer) rarely, if ever, responds to feedback.