A Town Called Reckoning (PILOT) by Phil Reynolds - Series, Dramedy - An ex soldier who tries to hide away is forced back to his old town to attend his brothers funeral. On his return skeletons come out of the closet which may force him to stay. 63 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Phil,

you describe Monty as 34, while he reads more as the grim and cynic 45+ Jeff Bridges stereotype of a character.

The writing moves it forward well, no doubt. Then, you still have a lot of typos in there. First I thought some is deliberately done, as capping the first letter of 'Bread', but then I also recognized other stuff like Afghanastan, missing commas or missing a space between words or/and punctuation marks.

Point is, your writing feels swift, bold and easygoing, even a little careless, in a good way - just idiosyncratic… and I like it. I truly do. I even let you get away with that curious 4th wall breaking beard description on p1 – but better watch out that it's however tidy and flawless from another point of view onto the page as well as the overall view on language.

The style can only feel cool, deliberately "sloppy" and idiosyncratic when the orthography it lives in is 100% careful and precise. Know what I mean?

p8 well, I like the stuff that I'm reading.

re: point I made above: "Well I know why your back."
This is the stuff I mean.

Wrong page breaks – names and introductory words are almost never set off by a comma…
wheel's
Monty Jumps

Although I find the story intriguing so far, everything about it, I will stop reading at this point. We can discuss your script when you put the needed elements in there, the sheer work.

All the best
Alex