The Monkey's Paw by Steven Sallie - Short, Horror - In this modern telling of the short story by W. W. Jacobs, three wishes are granted to the owner of The Monkey's Paw, but the wishes come with a price for interfering with fate. 9 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

NICE. A real original story. I can say no more, that will give it away to the readers that follow. A real good twist ending.

Always did have a soft spot for the original so thought I'd give this a whirl.

On first page, Mike is described as being in a different room, but by the bottom of the page he seems to be in the kitchen and in the conversation... this is slightly confusing so needs some attention.

"You don’t want to be unless." - should that be useless?

Other than that this is a very solid story, loved the twist(s) and the nicely ambiguous ending too.

Good job

This was a cool take on the classic short story. Really good stuff. Does anyone know if Steven (the author) ever visits the boards? I don't see his email anywhere, I'd like to write up a blog post on this script for the home page.

-- Michael

I recognise the name, Michael.

PM Don, he'll likely have Steven's details.
All else fails:

Steven's on Script Revolution - email or PM there.
https://www.scriptrevolution.com/profiles/steven-sallie

NB: Lesson: Write your contact details on Script title page. :)

Thanks, Libby! I'll try to get in touch with him.

-- Michael

A re-telling of the old Monkey's Paw story but not much different from the original (at least the story I remember). The origin of the paw is different, otherwise, I've seen/read this all before so nothing new.

As for the writing, the passage of time was difficult to tell for scene changes in the house as it all takes place at night too. I know directors direct but it might be a good time to add transitions.