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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Horror Scripts  /  Time Share
Posted by: Don, May 1st, 2022, 11:39am
Time Share by Matthew Layden  - Horror, Sci Fi - Time travel is now a business and you can revisit your favourite memories, but some memories should be left behind in the past. 89 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: TheUsualSuspect, May 25th, 2022, 3:55pm; Reply: 1
Any feedback at all would help. Willing to read a script in exchange.
Posted by: LC, May 28th, 2022, 5:52am; Reply: 2
Gave this a quick read, Matthew.

Skimmed quite a bit of the Second Act onwards, I must admit.
I think your concept as per your Logline is terrific, and I loved your very creepy and brutal opening.

I have to confess though that once we travelled back in time to the Camp Holy Cross storyline it was less up my alley.


SPOILERS:


The stalked and murdered at Summer Camp, (even with your time-loop spin on it), is just a bit of a tired genre for me. But that may be just me.

You had some great ideas with the jump back in time to relive your finest or worst moments, and it being a futuristic idea combined with big business really appealed to me. Plus the extractions and attempting to alter the course of history. All solid ideas. Nice touch with the Existenz-inspired body-horror visuals too. This just went in a direction I wasn't anticipating.

Bumping it for you, regardless of my personal preference.

Try posting your request in Script Review Exchange.
You might have luck there.

Like I said, great opening!

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-goose/

Posted by: TheUsualSuspect, July 18th, 2022, 12:55pm; Reply: 3
Thank you very much for the read.

A little back story on the script I guess. I was in a contest where I was given two genres that I had to splice together. It was Time Travel and Slasher.

I admit, the second half does go on the generic side and I'm going to be re-working it to make it pop a bit more, in an effort to get out of the 'tired genre' aspect it currently feels like.

Thanks for the positive words though, I appreciate it.
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