Lord of the Shelves by Jason Allen - Short, Comedy - Hoping to go straight, a former mob boss moves to a small town and becomes a librarian. But it won't be easy because he's paranoid, hot-tempered and prone to violence. Just pray your library books aren't overdue. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Boss Baby meets The Godfather.

This has potential but it was the same gag over and over without any payoff.

I get that this may be part of a larger story, but I like shorts with a beginning, middle, and end that shows some sort of change in any of the characters.

This was just... I'm an eight-year-old mob boss and I'm going to do mob boss stuff then go home.

I was hoping for a change in the gags but it never came.

Maybe have the little girl help him learn to change his ways or have her challenge him in some way.

It wasn't a bad script and there's a definite potential for humor, but a lot of it fell flat after the first few jokes.

-Jordan