Halloween Screenplay ++ Black Story ++ 2 pages

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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Script Review Exchange / Halloween Screenplay ++ Black Story ++ 2 pages

Posted by: PedroS, October 31st, 2022, 5:53am

Logline: A man shoots himself dead after listening to the radio.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yXCckmAbwYJSgvdIRzTVW3aXIyyxALg0/view?usp=share_link

Happy Halloween folks ;D

P.

Posted by: Matthew Taylor, October 31st, 2022, 6:28am; Reply: 1

Happy Halloween.

Not sure what the bloody shirt was about, or why he shot himself. I came to my own conclusion that he murdered someone and was using the fact he was on the radio as an alibi (until it started looping, then the jig was up)

I'd change the scene heading to show the car is travelling and remove Texas.
Show us it's Texas by describing the landscape out of the window, combined with his accent.

Best of luck to ya

Posted by: PedroS, November 5th, 2022, 5:01am; Reply: 2

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for taking your valuable time and provide me solid feedback.

Your conclusions are right :)

Best of luck to ya

Pedro T. S.

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