Alien Press Conference by Paul Knauer - Short, Comedy - Aliens have landed and it's time for questions. 7 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Just a short skit I wrote for the fun of it. Not a story. Hope you get a chuckle or two. No need for notes unless you’re just absolutely compelled. Thanks! (I’ve no plans for this.)

I loved it, by the way.  Kind of ironic, but yesterday I had an idea about aliens landing and trying to get someone to care, but nobody did.

Anyway, this is my favorite bit:

REPORTER (O.S.)
Bermuda Triangle?

JERRY
Not us. But, spooky, right?

P.S. - Back in the mid-80s, I went to see Yakov Smirnoff live in concert, and the funniest warm-up act was some guy named Jerry Seinfeld, who we were sure we'd heard of from something...

I checked this out because it had aliens in it just like my script. I can't really comment, because I think I was lost? I know who Jerry and George were, but it's been so long since I watched that show that I didn't really get the jokes. How old is that show anyway? 30yo?

Quoted from Grandma Bear I checked this out because it had aliens in it just like my script. I can't really comment, because I think I was lost? I know who Jerry and George were, but it's been so long since I watched that show that I didn't really get the jokes. How old is that show anyway? 30yo?

Seinfeld ran from 1989 - 1998

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098904/

A unique tale on an Alien invasion, PK.
Loved the satirical, absurdist and surreal style and that these bozos (though they're dangerous to boot) chose to adopt humour for their address via sitcom legends and at an Apple store.

I also enjoyed the Bermuda Triangle line. And I like the one-liners that fell flat with the audience at the top. These Aliens come equipped with 'Dad jokes' apparently.

I get you don't want critique on this one and wrote it for fun primarily but I think a couple more zinger one-liners might not hurt.

There are seven thousand, five-
hundred know species with only...

known species ?

Just on the off-chance you might want to know.

Very imaginative, PK.
You always have a unique style. :)

P.S. I can imagine what Denny's is and will look it up. Brekky, donuts and coffee maybe?

Denny's is SO much more than that.  I thank the aliens for that to this day!

https://www.dennys.com/

Quoted from steven8 Denny's is SO much more than that.  I thank the aliens for that to this day! https://www.dennys.com/

HA!

All good comments, everyone. Thanks for the read. Yes, if I were wanting to get this filmed, I would probably update the references. Maybe have the alien dudes name themselves Taylor Swift and Ariana, or something like that.

Quoted from LC I think a couple more zinger one-liners might not hurt.

Agreed, thank you.

And thanks for killing that typo for me!!

Quoted from PKCardinal Maybe have the alien dudes name themselves Taylor Swift and Ariana, or something like that.

Then I would not 'get it'.  That is the rub.  Any kind of pop culture references will always leave someone out.

This was fun. Enjoyed it.

I laughed.

I cried... actually, no. I didn't. But I did laugh.

I thought it was great but it was a little confusing as to how I was supposed to see it at first.

This is one of those rare cases where camera directions are actually needed.

If you would have told me that what I was seeing was in medium close up, then when the general turns and whispers, it would make more sense as to why I couldn't see who he was talking to:

He turns and whispers to someone out of frame...

Other than that, I loved it.

The Fox reporter was my favorite.

Well done.

Quoted from steven8 Then I would not 'get it'.  That is the rub.  Any kind of pop culture references will always leave someone out.

Clearly the answer is to name one Pop, the other Culture, and add a third named Reference.

Quoted from PKCardinal Clearly the answer is to name one Pop, the other Culture, and add a third named Reference.

;D

Yes, fun, cheeky and inventive stuff.

If may list my highlights --

Quoted Text JERRY I just flew in from Norkbillvonia. Boy, are my arms tired. Again, nothing. He looks to someone off-screen. JERRY This stuff killed on Maston Five.

;D

Quoted Text REPORTER (O.S.) Gina Black. MSNBC. Space--is it racist? Jerry looks at Newman. JERRY Fun planet.

;D

Quoted Text REPORTER (O.S.) Pyramids? JERRY Us. REPORTER (O.S.) Crop circles? JERRY Us. Well--technically, Golorgians, but, yes--”aliens.”

;D

Every time Jerry says "You're welcome" at the end of his Denny's sentence  ;D

A lot of it worked for me, the only one I couldn't my dense little head round is this --

Quoted Text Jerry fumbles with a set of notes, nervously rubs his giant, bald head. He looks up... JERRY So. My name. What’s up with that?

But who cares - enjoyable read, buddy.

Quoted Text What�s up with that?

Jerry Seinfeld is famous for always saying "What's up with that?," after introducing an idea.  Like, "Chocolate Coke, what's up with that?"

Then he would proceed to tear up Chocolate Coke's idiosyncrasies or whatnot.

Ah, thanks Steven8 - Never actually seen a Seinfeld.

Thanks for all the reads and reacts, everyone! And, thanks Steven for jumping in with the explanations. I've been out of town and haven't had a chance to jump in.