The Boot Riveter by John Stone - Short, Drama, Period Drama - A true account that focuses upon the murder of Miriam Angel, and her husband's grief concerning the culprit's he believes to be responsible. 16 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I like the added twist of Schmuss. It made Israel Lipski a less vile and more tragic character. I think this is a better story than Guttersnipe for that reason.

One thing I noticed is that after page 7, Israel Lipski is referred to as just Lipski as a character heading in dialog. I don't know enough to say that changing a character's heading is allowed or not. It's just something I wouldn't do to avoid confusion.

Also, on page 7, as we break into Isaac Angel's bedroom, there is a typo when Schmuss pokes his finger through a hole in the door.

I'm not really sure why Israel Lipski couldn't unlock the door after Schmuss left. I know that Schmuss locked the door with the pliers but he used the pliers to turn the key from outside. There is no indication that Schmuss jammed the lock in the locked position. Perhaps Schmuss broke the key in the lock and I missed it.

That's about all the advice I can contribute. This tragic story just gets better.

Yes you are right about the Lipski heading. I will put that right. Thanks for pointing that out.

In regards to the bedroom door lock you ask why doesn't Lipski just unlock the door and walk out?

The reason for him staying inside the room was due to him wanting to sexually assault Miriam as she is lying on the bed with her.

It is only when he's disturbed by Miriam Angel's mother-in-law that he hides beneath the bed. Israel Lipski was a weak person by all accounts. I believe there is some truth in his story when he says that he was also attacked inside that room.

There were many strange people hanging around the house that dreadful day and Schmuss was one of them.  A locksmith by trade. He was later questioned at Lipski's trial at the Old Bailey, but was never cross-examined as to his whereabouts during the time frame.

Many thanks for pointing those issues out though. The story continues...