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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Drama Scripts  /  The Worm That Turned
Posted by: Don, March 30th, 2024, 4:54pm
The Worm That Turned by James Shearer - Short, Drama - Never underestimate the quiet guy… 1 page - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: LC, March 30th, 2024, 10:03pm; Reply: 1
James, I came away from reading this thinking I'm not sure this would work as a self contained short film in terms of audience satisfaction. It reads more like a part of a bigger story. It did remind me of the backflip Mel Gibson's character takes in Ransom so good job there, but I'm just not convinced there's enough to it.

Well written for sure, and it does pack a punch at the end.
Posted by: D.A.Banaszak, April 5th, 2024, 7:36pm; Reply: 2
Interesting story. I can't think of any additional advice to add.

I found myself going from being angry at the criminal and annoyed with the reporters, to gasping along with the rest of the crowd.

I found myself with questions, not due to a lack of understanding of what I just read, but with the thoughts provoked by the end of your story.

It's a short enough story to share with friends, and ask them their opinions of the ethical situation the Browns put themselves in.

I like stories that provoke after-view discussion. This is a gem.
Posted by: JAShearer, April 6th, 2024, 8:37am; Reply: 3

Quoted from D.A.Banaszak
I like stories that provoke after-view discussion. This is a gem.


Thanks. This came to be from the opening of a longer, as yet unfinished, work - such a statement uttered by a woman, duly fired as a consequence and therefore . . . etc.

I'm surprised no one has made such an offer for real. Or maybe they have.

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