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I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!
Short and sweet. Read the comments before hand so, unfortunately I was ready for what was coming. Not much to add in terms of feedback not already mentioned except I like it for what it is.
Whimsical yet sad. A good story that fits the theme well.
This is a well-constructed, moving piece. Hard not to find it compelling. I'm no fan of dying children either because it seems like a cheap way to get a rise from the audience. Toss in the run-over dog and you've got a two-fer. That said, this is a good little story. Make the little girl a bit older to explain the voice over and you've got a solid, if predictable story.
I have to be eased into this type of shit. Really get to know the characters... and there be a real story. A kid dying isn't a story. Not unless we get to know him first.
This has the feel of a writer that's written this type of story before. This one lacks real soul, feels forced and therefore fails for me.
There are a lot of writers on this board who can tell such stories. I think it's one of those I know already.
There's always a place for your plots in film industry. That's one of the business' good features. Pure feelings survive any trends. The VOs are heartbreaking.
Reminded me of The Elevator Most Belonging to Alice (little girl + father + harsh realities of life) and figured Bill had written this one, too. Whoever wrote this did an exceptional job.
Very nostalgic. Very touching. Very sad.
I had a feeling she was gonna die, but
Quoted Text
ABBY (V.O.) Now I’m finally outta that hospital and back at home.
threw me off, until I read further. Very poignant and tragic subtext.
Jesus Christ. It's Sunday morning! I wasn't prepared for this. This was great, in a heartbreaking kind of way. Sad tales, I find, are the hardest to write without them coming across a little too sappy. You got it spot on here though. I'd like to see this made. It'd be pretty easy to do too. Great job! Best of the bunch so far.
Thanks everyone for the reviews and feedback. Most of you won't know me but I used to post on here a bit a number of years ago.
I was concerned the story might be a bit too simple so I'm glad most people seem to have enjoyed it regardless.
The title and story is meant to be symbolic of not just the game, but the fact that death can come for anyone at any time, and that there's no hiding from it.
Thanks everyone for the reviews and feedback. Most of you won't know me but I used to post on here a bit a number of years ago.
I was concerned the story might be a bit too simple so I'm glad most people seem to have enjoyed it regardless.
The title and story is meant to be symbolic of not just the game, but the fact that death can come for anyone at any time, and that there's no hiding from it.
Thanks again.
I was really impressed by this story. I thought it was very well written and man, that ending was so sad. I hope that we will see you more on the boards. You're a good writer and don't let anyone tell you differently.
I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!