Well, I thought it was funny.  I had a smile on my face a few times.  When she was doing CPR on the horse all I could think of was Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself and Irene" when he was beating the cow with the butt of his gun!  And I loved that movie.  

It was certainly a quick read, so I can appreciate that.  Like some others have mentioned, some people will like this, while others not so much.  I did kind of enjoy this, so good on that!

Nolan

No opening slug...

Hmmm, so I am a Brit, so got most of the references and a couple were funny,  but this did seem to have been written for the 1970s.

I do however have seem to have had a comedy bypass so this didn't really fly for me.

No opening slug???
Not a good start


Ahh MERRY OLD ENGLAND... nothing merry about place

You're writing about old England and then you reference an obscure Brady Bunch member which is everything American... There's plenty of ye old English famous people to reference.

So by this, I'm guessing an American writer taking on English dialogue and humor... should be fun.


I guess it's not so Old if they're eating at Wimpy's and I haven't heard that name in 20 years lol

Good old fart joke

and then it killed the horse??? hell of a fart

Loyne Berger... going with the full Carry on/Benny hill TV

Beating a dead horse... funny

We were doing ok  and now she has her period and you used AUNT FLO... seriously! That's so redundant and not funny anymore. A google check might have given you something more original. At least from a British perspective.

I thought Loyne Berger was actually making an appearance... big No No, the parameter police would on you


Well that was interesting. It seems like you rushed a half baked idea and it doesn't help sometimes being American and trying to write British accents without a lot of research.

The tone has a lot of mistakes, maybe you should have confided in another writer from overseas.

Still I had a few smiles

Good job on entering

Not the most coherent writing but it was embarrassingly funny and gross. A bold choice for this OWC.

Solid title – perhaps something "horse-related" would work better. Codeword: a lot of people like horses, keyword: target audience :-)
experienced logline, sounds like a comedy

I had to laugh about Amy when shouting out to heaven. Such a stupid joke that worked fine.

Perhaps I may be right when saying you haven't found the deepest inspiration this time. No problem. That happens.

Some funny bits here. I reckon the writer had the idea for this before the challenge perhaps? As it seems pretty random stuff to write in a week lol.

Anyway it was a bit of fun I guess. The writer was confident in his formatting and structure. It was just a weird little vignette, like, as someone pointed out, a Benny Hill sketch.

Funny bits...and naughty bits. A couple of references went over my head but I do know Jan Brady! Thankfully it was a quick read.

Comedy is hard. We all agree on that. But reading it shouldn't be

This was cute. Do fart jokes ever get old? Ha ha.

I totally got the references to Jan Brady and "Another Brick in the Wall" (If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!)

The whole thing had a Monty Python/Ab Fab vibe to it. Hilarious! I don't always get British humor, but this was a "bloody good programme," as they'd say.

Good show, cherio. Keep up the good work.

Quoted Text The whole thing had a Monty Python/Ab Fab vibe to it. Hilarious!

That's all I kept envisioning was Ab Fab! This just screams those two at a stable somewhere or like that episode where they went fox hunting....very similar. Good on the writer.

Humor is hard.  British humor is even harder.  

I think Comedy is so hard on here because half of the regulars are from other countries.  So, what counts for humor in EACH country (including USA) might not be funny elsewhere.

You have to try to find universally funny things that should work in any country.

For me, my 2 fav comedies are Planes, Trains and Automobiles as well as Naked Gun.

If I was given comedy, I would have gone for that vein...

I can't add more than what's already been said.

Dan

All,

Thanks for reading. So, to explain...I'm...ah.... Fuck it!

Steve

Quoted from SAC All, Thanks for reading. So, to explain...I'm...ah.... Fuck it! Steve

get back on that horse!