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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2017 One Week Challenge  ›  The January 2017 OWC Scripts Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The January 2017 OWC Scripts  (currently 11393 views)
Don
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 10:52am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Clicking the title will take you to the discussion thread of that script.  On that thread, clicking the title will open the script.

All participants are active discussion board members. There were 23 entries.

Before we lament the demise of SS, this OWC was not advertised outside of the discussion board since Sean was trying something new, I wanted to keep the experiment in the family, so to speak.

- Don

The Venus Heist by Alex Mann - Short, Film Noir - Two women report a heist to the same detective. But can these two best friends turn in their suspects... each other? And which one of them actually committed the crime? 11 pages

Survival Mentality by Anonymous - Short, Thriller - Constable Ross ends up in the fight for her life while attending a reported home invasion. 9 pages

Rebirth by Sy Fie - Short, Sci Fi - The oldest woman on earth must undergo a rebirth and lose her memories of life before the 'purge'. 9 pages

Cherry Pie by Anonymous - Short, Horror - Natchitoches, Louisiana. 1950. A little lost girl gets allured by a strange smell and a mysterious old lady to spend the night in. But when no one's watching, nothing is what it seems to be. 12 pages

Meeting The Other Woman by Anonymous - Short, Drama - A wife discovers something important about her own life when she finally meets the other woman.  12 pages

Retribution Ridge by Anonymous - Short, Western - A mysterious woman comes to town hell-bent on avenging the murder of her father.

All That Glitters by Anonymous - Short, Western - A mysterious stranger confronts a widow and her daughters at their farm in Oregon during the American Civil War. 10 pages

Anita Blackman by Fiddler On The Hoof - Short, Comedy - Two women gear up for a fun day of horse riding, but a Wimpy's Knickerbocker Glory proves to be much more than they can handle.

Fifty by One Ugly Dame - Short, Thriller - When a mysterious Girl shows up in California looking to complete her lifelong obsession, a well known Psychiatrist fights to change her mind.

Into That Goodnight by Jaron Lanier - Short, Sci Fi - A young mother trying to raise a daughter alone, begins to suspect her anti-insomnia medication is altering her perception of reality in dangerous ways.

Lovers Divide by You'll Never Guess - Short, Sci Fi - A young woman plans to leave her fiance, who has been acting very strange since returning from the Army.

Gym Bunnies by Anonymous - Short, Comedy - When a hotchpotch of Disney characters are sent to a gym they soon discover there is more to this  gathering  than expected.

Super Scoop by My Name Here - Short, Comedy - Lois Lane gets an exclusive interview with Wonder Woman. Do you really want an answer to that question?

Atoll's Edge by Michelle Yeoh - Short, Action - A soldier finds herself marooned on an atoll island. She comes across a mysterious orb in an abandoned village and finds herself instinctively defending it from an ever increasing number of faceless demons.

Don't Stop Believing by Anonymous - Short, Horror - It takes a child's innocence to believe in that of which seems unbelievable, but a child's innocence is exactly what Evil preys on.

The First Womanned Mission to Mars by Anonymous - Short, Sci Fi, Comedy - Three women get more than they bargained for on Mars

Poultice by John Anglicus - Short, Western - A desperate mother to-be visits the Native American wise woman who may be able to help her child live, if only her father hadn't murdered the woman's husband.

The Tenderest Cuts by Anonymous - Short, Horror - When a couple rebuffs their sex-obsessed roommate, they set free her inherited psychological craftsmanship.

In The Arms of Justice by Mindy Eddeson Wannabe - Short, Film Noir - Has a gorgeous socialite done one bad deed too many?

Re(t)con by Moustache de Plume - Short, Thriller - A hooded teenager learns that, sometimes, being in the wrong place at the wrong time proves beneficial.

Life On A Dime by Rachel Serling - Short, Psychological Thriller - A man's perfect life unravels in the space of one day.

Anna by ???? - Short, Thriller - For a young girl, everything changes in ten minutes.

Lipstick and Dynamite by Robin D. Graves - Short, Thriller - A fashion model engages in a sinister game of cat and mouth with an unbalanced CEO of a cosmetics firm — with catastrophic results.



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:16am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Don

Under the circumstances, and need to register etc, this seems like a fine turnout

It was a decent challenge

Ta


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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MarkItZero
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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Best of luck to everyone!


That rug really tied the room together.
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eldave1
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:25am Report to Moderator
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That got up quickly. Looking forward to reading


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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DanC
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:34am Report to Moderator
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Wow that was fast.  Best luck to everyone who entered.
Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:36am Report to Moderator
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Note to myself and others

We should really be aware of the different genres when we read

We are not comparing like for like


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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DanC
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:41am Report to Moderator
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Killing villains since 1980!

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Quoted from Reef Dreamer
Note to myself and others

We should really be aware of the different genres when we read

We are not comparing like for like


True.  I listed mine b/c it asked me to.  I wasn't sure if we were supposed to keep that information hidden or not.

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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CameronD
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 12:49pm Report to Moderator
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Very fast indeed! Gracias!


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
http://www.screenplaywritenow.com Write a screenplay. Write. Now.
http://www.SchismSEO.com Separate from your competition. Affordable SEO services
http://www.MyEasyGifter.com Because nobody likes receiving gift cards
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 1:11pm Report to Moderator
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Exciting!!!!  Excellent job getting all the scripts up at once.  I think this will really help with the reads, and help the cream rise to the top.
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Exciting!!!!  Excellent job getting all the scripts up at once.  I think this will really help with the reads, and help the cream rise to the top.


You have to be doing this on purpose.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 1:20pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from Female Gaze
You have to be doing this on purpose.


I see you've met the Jeff we've all had to tolerate for so many years... Lol. =)


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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 1:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


I see you've met the Jeff we've all had to tolerate for so many years... Lol. =)


Hey now!!!

I'm about to start reading and providing feedback...Hold on tight, everyone!!  

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Zack
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


I'm about to start reading and providing feedback...Hold on tight, everyone!!  



I'm so scared.

~Zack~
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stevie
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 4:08pm Report to Moderator
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Great job Don and Blondie. Early Sunday morn here in oz. Will be reading later today.!



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stevie
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 6:39pm Report to Moderator
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Its refreshing reading different genres so kudos to that Blondie!

I think you can take it another step for a future OWC with an extra addon - have one common theme and criteria, like very specific parameters and THEN perps get allocated a genre.

That would be special indeed having 20 odd scripts with the same elements but in different genres



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 6:44pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from stevie
I think you can take it another step for a future OWC with an extra addon - have one common theme and criteria, like very specific parameters and THEN perps get allocated a genre.

That would be special indeed having 20 odd scripts with the same elements but in different genres


Stevie, I've literally got a list of about 30 OWC ideas that I shuffle around to see what works. The last thing I need is another one. Lol.

With that said, why don't you host one? You can do it. =)


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stevie
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:09pm Report to Moderator
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Lol Blondie gives the irritating Aussie a swift uppercut!



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:25pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from stevie
Lol Blondie gives the irritating Aussie a swift uppercut!


Seriously, Stevie. Why not? I have no doubt that you'd be able to run one of these bad boys. =)


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stevie
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:30pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the confidence bro. But I may not have the time as I'm sure you and Don don't.


Actually on second thought... do you mean I would be the one to set the challenge theme and genre etc but Don would still do the logistics?

If so, yeah that might be feasible in the future. The time zone diff maybe a hassle as most of you guys are in the US but with some help from Jeff and maybe my old mate Ryan we could organise something.



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Grandma Bear
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


I have no doubt that you'd be able to run one of these bad boys. =)

Boys?....



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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from stevie
Thanks for the confidence bro. But I may not have the time as I'm sure you and Don don't.


Actually on second thought... do you mean I would be the one to set the challenge theme and genre etc but Don would still do the logistics?

If so, yeah that might be feasible in the future. The time zone diff maybe a hassle as most of you guys are in the US but with some help from Jeff and maybe my old mate Ryan we could organise something.


Sure, get a trio in on this. Maybe each of you organizes one part of it? Who knows?


Quoted from Grandma Bear
Boys?....


Proverbially speaking, of course. There are lots of bad girls out there, too, who are more than capable of running the OWC. =)


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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 7:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear

Boys?....



Uh-oh the feminism is catching!  
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Conz
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 8:11pm Report to Moderator
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I'm sure i missed it, but what day are the reviews due by?


I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 8:13pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Friday at midnight, Conz. You can still read and review (in the threads) after that, but the results are due one week from the start of the challenge.


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LC
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 8:49pm Report to Moderator
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I just want to make a comment upfront.

My script is not that great, story wise and has some other issues. I absolutely know this.

I would normally have pulled it, (actually, just not entered) if not for female solidarity.

I do want to say this though. I made a genuine attempt at the challenge re male dialogue and characters, and I know I succeeded there.

I may be pre-empting but so far I'm disappointed with the fluff female stereotypes I'm being subjected to and some deliberately woeful dialogue.

I'm hopeful the situation will improve. Only half a dozen scripts in so far and there only needs to be one gem.


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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I just want to make a comment upfront.

My script is not that great, story wise and has some other issues. I absolutely know this.

I would normally have pulled it, (actually, just not entered) if not for female solidarity.

I do want to say this though. I made a genuine attempt at the challenge re male dialogue and characters, and I know I succeeded there.

I may be pre-empting but so far I'm disappointed with the fluff female stereotypes I'm being subjected to and some deliberately woeful dialogue.

I'm hopeful the situation will improve. Only half a dozen scripts in so far and there only needs to be one gem.



See, and all the guys gave us false reassurance that they would take this seriously. Well the good news is that at least one of the scripts is actually pretty great and another not so great but also really beautiful.

Good luck to us both. I'm afraid we've been dicked to the side.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
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So far, not so god...at all, sorry to say.

I've read (or attempted to read) 14 so far, and 6 of those 14 have gotten a "poor" from me.  5 have gotten a "fair" and most of those were just because they were better than the poor ones.

I have given 1 "very good", but again, that's simply because it was so much better than the others.

Maybe I'm picking the wrong ones to read up front, and am hopeful things will pick up.
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Conz
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Friday at midnight, Conz. You can still read and review (in the threads) after that, but the results are due one week from the start of the challenge.


thank you, sir


I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:15pm Report to Moderator
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Well considering everyone who actually did this OWC said on multiple occasions that we were all struggling on this one I think it's only fair that we all give ourselves a pat on the back.

With the gender-swap constraint and the genre being picked for us - I know I'm not exactly comfortable with mine but I still did it, still Kudos to all of us for at least giving it a try.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
Well considering everyone who actually did this OWC said on multiple occasions that we were all struggling on this one I think it's only fair that we all give ourselves a pat on the back.

With the gender-swap constraint and the genre being picked for us - I know I'm not exactly comfortable with mine but I still did it, still Kudos to all of us for at least giving it a try.


Sure...always a kudos for entering, but let's be real here.  Outside a few tough genres (which Sean offered to give an alternate), this is as open and relatively easy as it gets.

Just surprised so far how bad most of these are.  And if you guys and gals hate me for saying that, I understand, but I'm just keeping it real.

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Zack
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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I openly admit that I suck at writing female characters. Hell, I'm not so great at writing male characters either. So if my female characters offend anyone, I'm truly sorry. That was not my intent.

That said, I tried my best and am very proud of what I wrote. I've also enjoyed the majority of what I've read. This has been a fun challenge and I'm really looking forward to seeing who wrote what.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some more reading to do.

~Zack~
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:29pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah but you have to also consider how broad a lot of genres  i.e. Thriller are and also how constricting other genres are i.e Westers

It makes a difference because different people consider different things when working in any genre.

And I don't think anyone is really fazed by your frankness. I'm guessing this is just who you are...idk

If it were so easy it wouldn't have been a challenge.

On a different note: 21 male writers and 2 female writers.  Those are parameters we are in right now.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
On a different note: 21 male writers and 2 female writers.  Those are parameters we are in right now.


Uhhh...I think I've already read 3 scripts that had male characters...no?

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Female Gaze
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 9:34pm Report to Moderator
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Oh, so there is 3 female writers! Cool!

I wasn't sure. I didn't get to them all, just going off what was said from before.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:13pm Report to Moderator
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WOW!!  Very weak turnout in terms of reads on Day 1.  I'm very shocked, actually.

Sure, it's a Saturday here in the States and Sunday in OZ, and late in Brittan, but...really?

Many/most scripts have 3, 4, 5 comments.

C'mon, PEEPS!!  Get reading here.  Those who entered gave it their all.  Where is everybody?
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LC
Posted: January 28th, 2017, 11:53pm Report to Moderator
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I'll put it here so it's clear (as I said on the other thread) I'll post feedback on the female writer's entries after the fact, to preserve anonymity, otherwise it'll be too obvious.


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Dreamscale
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 12:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I'll put it here so it's clear (as I said on the other thread) I'll post feedback on the female writer's entries after the fact, to preserve anonymity, otherwise it'll be too obvious.


OK...but what about all the dude's scripts?  I think I've read 17 and whether or not I read the entire script, as always, I've given pretty detailed feedback.
Let's get on it, peeps!!
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 12:53am Report to Moderator
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Hey, I've been reading and commenting since this morning. Give people a chance. Some actually go out and enjoy their lives on the weekend. Not me. But some.

The way I figure, we should all have at least 20 comments at a minimum. If we build they will come.
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LC
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Yeah, me too Jeffrey. I mean, agreeing with Ashlie that I've been on it. What are you on about? Cool it. This often happens at the start. People generally get to reading when they can. You're just wanting more excitement, I know.



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Dreamscale
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 1:06am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Yeah, me too Jeffrey. I mean, agreeing with Ashlie that I've been on it. What are you on about? Cool it. This often happens at the start. People generally get to reading when they can. You're just wanting more excitement, I know.


Yes...I want alot more excitement.  Just saying...weak turn out so far.

Ash, trust me...most scripts will not have nearly 20 comments.  They all should, but it ain't gonna happen.  Many peeps who enter will comment on 3, maybe 4...some zero or 1.  It's usually quite pathetic how peeps don't give out what they get.

I'll be done by tomorrow or Monday, and will comment on every single script, as I always do.  If I get 12 comments, I'll be surprised (guess that means I didn't write the Atoll script     ).

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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 1:11am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Yes...I want alot more excitement.  Just saying...weak turn out so far.

Ash, trust me...most scripts will not have nearly 20 comments.  They all should, but it ain't gonna happen.  Many peeps who enter will comment on 3, maybe 4...some zero or 1.  It's usually quite pathetic how peeps don't give out what they get.

I'll be done by tomorrow or Monday, and will comment on every single script, as I always do.  If I get 12 comments, I'll be surprised (guess that means I didn't write the Atoll script     ).




Well, you had western right? Or......... you cheeky so and so!
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 6:37am Report to Moderator
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Wow that was quick, thanks for getting them all up.

I'm out today so not much time to read but I will get through, read and review them all before time is up. And I'll take my time with them, make sure they get a proper read.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 1:56pm Report to Moderator
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As Mark said, I was also surprised how quick the scripts were online. Jeff, and others: don't forget that Europeans live in a different time zone. The first day is off for me by nature because it's the middle of the night.

Also, I, read OWC scripts differently. I need to work so much to get my ESL in shape, that I need 1 or 2 days off. Also, I firstly tend to read the titles, such an important feature for me, as well as the loglines.  I really try to feel those scripts. Sometimes I read one and sleep over it one night and then post my opinion etc.

That's why I always speak up for 2 weeks reading time. Don knows I always beg him for an additional week to review, always. I appreciate guys who push it and read quick but I personal need some time to give a relaxed and clear expertise.



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LC
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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Alex, I think about two weeks is the general allocation, isn't it?


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 6:32pm Report to Moderator
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It's one week to submit your results, but you can read and review any time you'd like and put your scores into the threads afterwards.


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AnthonyCawood
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Chill Jeff, sure people will get to them as usual...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 11:15pm Report to Moderator
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1. Get upset.

2. Tell a friend who will be unconditionally supportive and say things like “That idiot” and will find a flaw in the criticism they can exaggerate to make you feel better.

3. Read it again and see if there is anything at all helpful in there, even the smallest point.

4. Decide that it is pointless for me to write anything ever again because I am obviously a hack and this person has found me out.

5. Read something nice that someone said about something I wrote once.

6. Tell myself that it’s just one opinion and might be right but also might be wrong or somewhere in between.

7. Write another thing.

8. And another.

9. Just show up and keep writing.

10. Repeat 7-9.
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LC
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7-9 That's exactly what you do! You're a writer.

Ashlie, OWC's can be notoriously tough.. It's your first. Don't sweat it.

Anon can bring out the devil in some, along with the candour.



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Female Gaze
Posted: January 29th, 2017, 11:46pm Report to Moderator
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As much as I would love to be considered a tender sweet soul...this was actually from a writer who was talking about how she handled criticism.

I am feeling all kinds of feels but almost none of it has to do with my script. ( I actually have decided not to read any comments just yet)

But, I thought why not share this lovely list of distractors.

This OWC has shown me a lot. Stuff I was not prepared for and honestly stuff I was truly ignorant towards until now.

I can't wait until the week is up.
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CameronD
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 1:00am Report to Moderator
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Ashlie,

The contest is an awesome crash course in screenwriting. At first you'd think knocking out a ten page script in one week would be easy, but even ten pages is rough as hell. Developing a story, writing it well, and editing it all in seven short days leaves little room for polish.  It just goes to show how much work is involved in a full length screenplay.

What's valuable here isn't so much the final product but what you learn about you and how you approach the writing process combined with the anonymous critiques that follow. It's great practice and will help make your future scripts stronger. The OWC screenplay itself is more or less a consolation prize at the end of the day.

That said, I'm a bit embarrassed by my entry as I put in a lot of work into it but had to submit a hour before the deadline without a proper editing and shortchanged my idea. But that's a lesson learned in itself right there to always remember to put your best foot forward.  

That said, you did leave some positive comments on mine I saw so I thank you for that and glad you enjoyed it.


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DanC
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 2:38am Report to Moderator
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I would like to say something.

I sincerely apologize for my terrible story.  I won't give myself away, nor will I pull it.  I'm a big boy and can take big boy lumps.

However,  I will say this, I seem to be running into the same problem, so, I am looking for help.

I keep reading that my slugs suck.  I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?  

I also ran into a software glitch that I'd never have spotted if it wasn't for a reviewer, so, thanks for that.

But, now for the big ask.

This is like the third or 4th time this has happened.  Actually, every single freaking time, but the first.  I've had to cut soooooo much out of the script that I'm left with garbage.  

The story that I had in my mind might have worked if I had an extra 6 pages.  But, obviously, I didn't have those 6 pages.

So, how do you guys write for a short of this, well, short magnitude?  Do you shoot for a simple idea?  Do you map it out to see where you will come in?  I'd like to actually write one of these that I'm not embarassed about.

I knew my topic would be hard, again, won't give that up, but, it turned out so much worse than I expected.  So, I'd like help to get better for these types of events.  I think stuff like this is important because an interview might ask for something on the spot and give me a day or 2 to do it, or come up with the pitch and I need to be better at this type of contest/event.  What I envisioned was cut so badly that it looked nothing like my idea.

I can understand how the people of faceoff go wrong.  For those who don't know, it's a TV show about a group of upcoming makeup artists for film who are in a contest to win money and prizes.  I watch them spend a week on something that clearly looks terrible and then they can't pull it out.  My idea didn't look awful, until I cut half of it.  How do you tell when a story is too complex for the page limit, or simply isn't doable?

And anyone who says the Order of the Crappy Mug isn't a contest is lying.  Some of us would sell our own parents for one.  By the way, I have a mom I can toss in...

Just sayin'

Thanks again...

Oh, Blonde, you had said that anyone can run one of these?  What's expected?

I had one idea that would be a lot of fun.  Recreate and rewrite a cartoon from your childhood as if it were done today.  So, for me, if you were in the 60s HR Pufnstuf or the Herculoids would be a blast.

Any event, looking for good advice either here, or pm.

Thanks and again,
sorry for the big pile of heaping crap I submitted.

Dan Campisi


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 3:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
As much as I would love to be considered a tender sweet soul...this was actually from a writer who was talking about how she handled criticism.

I am feeling all kinds of feels but almost none of it has to do with my script. ( I actually have decided not to read any comments just yet)

But, I thought why not share this lovely list of distractors.

This OWC has shown me a lot. Stuff I was not prepared for and honestly stuff I was truly ignorant towards until now.

I can't wait until the week is up.


I'd like to hear more.

What have you seen?
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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 3:42am Report to Moderator
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Dan,

I give you some advice that might help in case of how to serve better with regards to the script length.

Before you start writing you definitely should have a story ending. It's not important if you use that ending in process. It more serves you as a frame; a pattern for orientation and it also helps to see the clear goal concerning the length guideline.  

I also would say that you could draw out the 3 act structure.

Set up – confrontation – resolution.

Structure is discipline. And if you realize you got 8 pages of set up, your habits should set off alarm that it does not work that way,
and make you realize that no matter how great those pages are, you will not be able to get the story across properly.

I think structure is the cold beast which comes first. When you got a vague structure, you can start put some life into it.

If you frequently run out of space I definitely would try to structure things before you start writing.

However, that's how I generally do it. At some point it went over to routine.

To add a general point on length - sometimes I miss the quality, also from myself, to write a great short short script. By nature a short should express much with few words, but we all tend to stretch things to the 12 page limit. Perhaps it would help you to write a simple 4-6 pages script: One scene setup, one scene confrontation, one scene resolution




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MarkRenshaw
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Dan,

Think of a slugline as an opportunity to describe your scene in a few words. Sure a House will do but it hardly helps to get an image of the house across to the reader. You then have to waste precious white space in the action telling us stuff you could cover quite adequately in the slugline.

Who's house is it? Is it the protagonist's? Then tell us, e.g. Dave's House. Is it in poor condition, rundown, the walls cracked and in a bad need of repair? Well don't waste words in the action to tell us, use the slugline, e.g. Derelict House.

You can even spice it up a bit. A script I'm writing is set in a dystopian future. There's a scene where these zealots are praying at a wall covered in posters of famous celebrities from the 20th Century. My Slugline is , EXT. WALL OF THE NEW GODS - DAY. It makes it a bit sexier!

But don't force a slugline. Sometimes a house, really is just a house.

As for trying to cram a story into a short number of pages. Just strip it all back. Don't get tied up in formula too much, go back to basics. Does your story have a beginning, middle and end? If so you are most of the way there. All you need to do is get from the beginning to the middle and then the middle to the end in the shortest amount of steps possible.

Strip away all extraneous details. Your action should give the actors enough information on how to speak and move without telling them specifically. Your scene descriptions should set the scene as vividly as possible in the shortest number of words.

Sometimes a story is simply too big and too long to fit into 12 pages. Sometimes it really is. In that case you shouldn't force it simply because you want to use that idea. You need to put that idea aside to write another day and come up with another that you know you can fit into 12 pages.

It sometimes helps to remember that 1 page of a script usually equates to 1 minute of screentime. When running through a story in your head you need to be honest with yourself and say, "Can I really do this story justice in 12 minutes?"

I hope that helps.

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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CameronD
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:57am Report to Moderator
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Mark is right about slugs. A house, or a street or a room is a very non descriptive setting. The more info or detail you can put into your setting's the better. Who's house? Is is a street corner, or intersection or sidewalk, or outside of a deli? A messy room maybe? Simple things like that help the reader visualize more.

Because this is a short story your plot must be able to fit with a three act structure. Think small. You couldn't do Star Wars for example right? So don't try. 10 pages is quite limiting but also liberating in the sense you literally don't have room for bullshit.  You still need a 3 act structure however.

And Dan I had the same though in that the OWC is very much like a final challenge in FaceOff of Top Chef which is cool and I love. It gets the creative juices flowing and really tests your ability. That said, too am a bit embarrassed by my entry in that I ran out of time to give it a good scrubbing before entry. But that's what happens when the clock is against you. Still fun and helpful all the same.


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jayrex
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:10am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
...  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?  

...


This seems fine to me.



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Grandma Bear
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INT. HOUSE - NIGHT is fine. If you use the interior of several houses write INT. DON'S HOUSE - NIGHT.

IMO, descriptions of the house should be in the following paragraph. Slugs are meant to tell us if we are inside or outside. What location the scene takes place and if it's day or night. Simple as that.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
I keep reading that my slugs suck.  I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.  I mean isn't

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT all you need?

Oh, Blonde, you had said that anyone can run one of these?  What's expected?

I had one idea that would be a lot of fun.  Recreate and rewrite a cartoon from your childhood as if it were done today.  So, for me, if you were in the 60s HR Pufnstuf or the Herculoids would be a blast.


When it comes to slugs, it's a differing opinion sort of thing. When I do them, I keep it simple. If there's only one house in the entire script, I do "INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/BEDROOM - DAY/NIGHT". It's always helpful to specify the room if you're using more than one. Then, you can add in the details in prose (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't). I don't like extraneous details.

As for what's expected, not much. Obviously, you'd want to get in touch with Don, touch base, then get your dates set up (about a week to build it up, a week for the contest--or however long it's going to be, a week or so to review, then the results). Sometimes for Don's sake, you let him in on the premise (although I'm fairly certain he likes to be surprised, like we all do). Then, you can mainly copy an old "The such-and-such-a-year One Week Challenge Topic Is..." post and update the dates on it so they coincide with your contest and update the information inside. Then, pretty much, keep an eye out in the threads, make sure nobody's burning the site down and have fun.

That paragraph makes it seem like there's a lot involved, but there really isn't.


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Grandma Bear
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


When it comes to slugs, it's a differing opinion sort of thing. When I do them, I keep it simple. If there's only one house in the entire script, I do "INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/BEDROOM - DAY/NIGHT". It's always helpful to specify the room if you're using more than one.

Of course mention the specific room!!! Hello! Brain fart by me there.  


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eldave1
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Quoted Text
The story that I had in my mind might have worked if I had an extra 6 pages.  But, obviously, I didn't have those 6 pages.


The best paradigm I ever read in this regards was start the scene is late as you can and get out of the scene as early as you can


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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jayrex
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 11:09am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


When it comes to slugs, it's a differing opinion sort of thing. When I do them, I keep it simple. If there's only one house in the entire script, I do "INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM/KITCHEN/BEDROOM - DAY/NIGHT". It's always helpful to specify the room if you're using more than one. Then, you can add in the details in prose (sometimes I do, sometimes I don't). I don't like extraneous details.

As for what's expected, not much. Obviously, you'd want to get in touch with Don, touch base, then get your dates set up (about a week to build it up, a week for the contest--or however long it's going to be, a week or so to review, then the results). Sometimes for Don's sake, you let him in on the premise (although I'm fairly certain he likes to be surprised, like we all do). Then, you can mainly copy an old "The such-and-such-a-year One Week Challenge Topic Is..." post and update the dates on it so they coincide with your contest and update the information inside. Then, pretty much, keep an eye out in the threads, make sure nobody's burning the site down and have fun.

That paragraph makes it seem like there's a lot involved, but there really isn't.


Brain fart by myself also, yeah mention the room too.


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eldave1
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 11:32am Report to Moderator
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Just waxing here:

To me, the gender swap aspect of the challenge was genius.  It's a great test for woman to write men and men to write women, not only from a gender filter perspective - but from an unfamiliarity perspective. i.e., we all eventually have to write characters outside are own skin. Characters that we are not familiar with. It is akin to Christians having to write Atheists, etc.

The key, at least from my perspective is to start with a principle that any man can possess 100% of the traits and value of any woman and vice versa and let your particular character, not their gender, determine which ones are present or not. It is difficult for sure as we all have filters piled on from our age, culture and gender.

The nick in the challenge is the shortage of female writers. Uncontrollable, for sure. But it would have been ideal if there was an even split of female and male writers.  

I did enjoy the reads more than any other OWC because the stories were so different. Thanks again to SS for hosting these things.


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http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 11:35am Report to Moderator
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OK, Dan, so you raise a number of questions/issues and it's great to see how different peeps respond.

Let's tackle the Slug question first.  Is there something wrong or incorrect about using a generic Slug like, "INT. HOUSE - MORNING"

Well...it depends.  On the outside, this is the kind of Slug you'll see repeatedly in every script from every writer, so if you want you don't your scripts to stand out for all the right reasons, write your Slugs like this.

But, as a few have correctly said, there are a couple things to take into consideration:

Are there more than 1 house in your script?  If so, you definitely can't just use HOUSE over and over for different locations.  So, who's house is it?  You can name it something like DON'S HOUSE, but if Don is married, then it may be DON & SUE'S HOUSE, but Don and Sue may have kids, and DON & SUE'S HOUSE just reads too long to me anyway, so I go with a last name - SMITH HOUSE.

Secondly, what room are you in, when you're in this house?  It matters so much to set your scene properly, and the only way you can do that is by starting with a solid Slug.

SMITH HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM

How often do you see a script starting off like this, "BEDROOM - NIGHT"?  Now, the script may take place in that single location, but usually not, and as you get into features, you'll find you may have multiple bedroom scenes in different bedrooms in different houses.  So, whether or not you're writing a simple 1 locale script, get in the habit of writing exact Slugs...strong Slugs...informative, visual Slugs.

The best scripts and movies make their locations characters, just like the human and animal kind of characters.  Think about CASTLE DRACULA, the killing fields in Hostel, THE OVERLOOK HOTEL in The Shining.

Treat your settings like you want to treat your characters.  You may be shocked how much better your scripts become.
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 12:47pm Report to Moderator
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Dan, you also ask how to write a short that doesn't go over the page limitations.

Peeps have given you some good ideas already, and I know some peeps' minds work differently than others...OK, everyone thinks and works differently.

Here' a quick thought.  When I was a kid, I mowed lawns as my Summer job.  I had a partner and we'd get as many clients as we could, get as much money for each job as we could, and then set up our weekly schedule.  Until we had cut each lawn a few times, we had no idea how long each would take.  We also had no idea if we bid the prices out correctly.

But, after a few weeks, it was pretty clear how long each lawn cut and which were good deals for us and which were bad deals.

Basically what I'm saying is that it takes experience to "know" what kind of plot will fit in 10 or 12 pages and what won't.  From there, you'll start to be able to plot out your story and action in your head and you'll actually see where things will fall on the page.

Trust me, I have had numerous OWC scripts that didn't work out as I intended, but that was years ago.  For the most part, I wait until Thursday or Friday before I write anything, because for me, the planning is what takes the time, and I don't want to start writing until everything is planned out in my head, but when the words do hit the page, sometimes, things change, like the ending, but because I've plotted out all my action and dialogue, space is not the issue.
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 12:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Dan, you also ask how to write a short that doesn't go over the page limitations.

Peeps have given you some good ideas already, and I know some peeps' minds work differently than others...OK, everyone thinks and works differently.

Here' a quick thought.  When I was a kid, I mowed lawns as my Summer job.  I had a partner and we'd get as many clients as we could, get as much money for each job as we could, and then set up our weekly schedule.  Until we had cut each lawn a few times, we had no idea how long each would take.  We also had no idea if we bid the prices out correctly.

But, after a few weeks, it was pretty clear how long each lawn cut and which were good deals for us and which were bad deals.

Basically what I'm saying is that it takes experience to "know" what kind of plot will fit in 10 or 12 pages and what won't.  From there, you'll start to be able to plot out your story and action in your head and you'll actually see where things will fall on the page.

Trust me, I have had numerous OWC scripts that didn't work out as I intended, but that was years ago.  For the most part, I wait until Thursday or Friday before I write anything, because for me, the planning is what takes the time, and I don't want to start writing until everything is planned out in my head, but when the words do hit the page, sometimes, things change, like the ending, but because I've plotted out all my action and dialogue, space is not the issue.


I actually agree with all of this.

For Slugs I personally have a fondness for Master slug and mini slugs. It just looks better.
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eldave1
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This is how I write shorts:

I think of a feature, then remove reason and accountability.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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JEStaats
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Wow, am I glad I'm not the only one that feels a little beat up after this OWC. I took the genre I was given (totally out of my comfort zone) and did my best, only to find that I was either way off base or it was just really misunderstood. A parody is a form of comedy, yes? I'm sure you can guess which one I'm talking about but, with a parody, shouldn't preconceived notions of characters be thrown out the window? Albeit, it wasn't too funny. Sorry!

Like Ashlie said, repeat #7-9!

Just wait until next time!
John
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Female Gaze
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Quoted from JEStaats
Wow, am I glad I'm not the only one that feels a little beat up after this OWC. I took the genre I was given (totally out of my comfort zone) and did my best, only to find that I was either way off base or it was just really misunderstood. A parody is a form of comedy, yes? I'm sure you can guess which one I'm talking about but, with a parody, shouldn't preconceived notions of characters be thrown out the window? Albeit, it wasn't too funny. Sorry!

Like Ashlie said, repeat #7-9!

Just wait until next time!
John


If it's the one I'm thinking of then yes. Parody is really difficult. You really have to know the subject matter inside and out in order for you to make fun of it.

I wrote a film-noir parody a few years ago and it was a big process for me.  I actually had a mental breakdown! Bu,t once the dust settled, I realized all that research was soo worth it!

We all struggled I believe. But it's not nearly as bad as we may think. We only fail when we don't try,

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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 3:07pm Report to Moderator
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Comedy is hard.

Almost supernaturally hard.

Don't feel bad about it. All the comedies I read had a lot going for them. I'm just not really into them/
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MarkRenshaw
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Quoted from eldave1
This is how I write shorts:

I think of a feature, then remove reason and accountability.


If you do that, the script will be as good as it gets.





For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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DanC
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 4:31pm Report to Moderator
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This is why I love this site.  I thank you all for the helpful advice you gave.  I actually learned a lot here.    Jeff, you are so right about learning what works in the space and time provided.  This is the 4th OWC where I had a decent idea, but, the execution was awful.  

My plot ideas are simply too long and complex for the time and space allowed for the OWC.  The next one I do will be broken down first and planned, as if I were writing a feature.

If this has shown me anything, is that no matter how long, or short, the story is, you really have to plan, especially if there is a page limit (and lets face it, TV has a ton of page/time limits ranging from 5 min to 2 hrs), so, I hope to try to do better next time.

Now if I could just some love for my story...eesch.....

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
This is why I love this site.  I thank you all for the helpful advice you gave.  I actually learned a lot here.    Jeff, you are so right about learning what works in the space and time provided.  This is the 4th OWC where I had a decent idea, but, the execution was awful.  

My plot ideas are simply too long and complex for the time and space allowed for the OWC.  The next one I do will be broken down first and planned, as if I were writing a feature.

If this has shown me anything, is that no matter how long, or short, the story is, you really have to plan, especially if there is a page limit (and lets face it, TV has a ton of page/time limits ranging from 5 min to 2 hrs), so, I hope to try to do better next time.

Now if I could just some love for my story...eesch.....

Dan


Just count yourself lucky...at least you can faux comment on your own work...This is grueling, to say the least, for me.

And my take from this OWC is one part: helpful advice on writing shorts and structure and one part:  
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 4:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
This is grueling, to say the least, for me.

And my take from this OWC is one part: helpful advice on writing shorts and structure and one part:  


Grueling?  Seriously?  Why do you say that, Ash?

Are you getting negative feedback?

Do you agree with what's being said, or have you been completely blindsided?

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Female Gaze
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Grueling?  Seriously?  Why do you say that, Ash?

Are you getting negative feedback?

Do you agree with what's being said, or have you been completely blindsided?



It's only grueling because I'm super impatient. I actually haven't read any of my feedback on purpose. (Ok, I glanced  )

But that actually isn't the issue here. I am more and more curious about what it is we as writers put out into the world. I assumed we were all one community of artists that had a desire to give the world something from our own mind. Something beautiful and strange. A commentary on the world we live in.

So now I'm wondering...

What bearings do the character's we create have on people's view of gender norms? Does it really matter?

Like when I commented on another writer's work about his female character being presented a little off...his response was '  I don't think Simplyscripts is the place to start an argument or point out someone's ignorance on specific gender related things.'

But, if not here...then where? I'm sure a lot of you guys meant no offense in a lot of things presented in OWC...but it was still a little startling to see that 'that' is how you want female character's presented to the world. Pisser's or not. It just shocked me.
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Zack
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 5:24pm Report to Moderator
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Just poppin in to say sorry for my absence and that I finally have some time to myself tonight and all of tomorrow. Gonna see if I can't read a good handful by tomorrow. I just glanced at some of my scripts reviews and wow, it seems I missed the mark by a mile. Oh well, I had fun writing it.  

~Zack~

Revision History (1 edits)
Zack  -  January 31st, 2017, 12:18pm
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 5:30pm Report to Moderator
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I'm from the generation before you.

So things like "gender norms" and stuff like that are just what lefty kids and celebs say on Facebook articles that I swiftly ignore.


I can only speak for myself,  but for me fiction is not reality.  Men are not like James Bond and women aren't like their representations in stories.  It's fantasy. Fun... Not to be taken too seriously.

Obviously there are a lot of films that are more political and try to portray realistic representations of people.  This place tends more towards genre fiction.

Even in this OWC there were a lot of interesting female roles,  don't you think?
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Nolan
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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I, like some others here, have been getting completely ripped apart!  When I first read the comments I feel like throwing my computer out the window.  But then I don't.  Probably a good thing After a few minutes, I calm down and think rationally.  So, my computer has remained intact thus far.  And that's why I never act on impulse!  

I can see where my story is lacking though, so the comments have been useful.  I still have a lot of fun with these challenges and am looking forward to the next one already.  

Nolan
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 5:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
It's only grueling because I'm super impatient. I actually haven't read any of my feedback on purpose. (Ok, I glanced  )

But that actually isn't the issue here. I am more and more curious about what it is we as writers put out into the world. I assumed we were all one community of artists that had a desire to give the world something from our own mind. Something beautiful and strange. A commentary on the world we live in.

So now I'm wondering...

What bearings do the character's we create have on people's view of gender norms? Does it really matter?

Like when I commented on another writer's work about his female character being presented a little off...his response was '  I don't think Simplyscripts is the place to start an argument or point out someone's ignorance on specific gender related things.'

But, if not here...then where? I'm sure a lot of you guys meant no offense in a lot of things presented in OWC...but it was still a little startling to see that 'that' is how you want female character's presented to the world. Pisser's or not. It just shocked me.


Well, you can't judge everyone's "attitude" by a few scripts.  Some writers really don't get it and others struggle with this or that.

I agree that the vast majority of lesbian themed scripts were poorly done, and when I originally joked about lesbian scripts, I was TOTALLY JOKING!

The nice thing, to me, about these OWC's is that peeps feel more free to share their true feelings in terms of a review, where otherwise, you'll see alot of BS fluff about something from someone they know.

You know you can't please everyone, nor would you  really want to.  If someone says up front, "I hate horror", is that really someone you want praising your script?

You have to take reviews with a whole shaker full of salt.  Many peeps have no clue what they're saying.  Many don't know what's good, bad, or whatever.

You should read your feedback, though.  No reason not to.

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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 5:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I'm from the generation before you.

So things like "gender norms" and stuff like that are just what lefty kids and celebs say on Facebook articles that I swiftly ignore.


I can only speak for myself,  but for me fiction is not reality.  Men are not like James Bond and women aren't like their representations in stories.  It's fantasy. Fun... Not to be taken too seriously.

Obviously there are a lot of films that are more political and try to portray realistic representations of people.  This place tends more towards genre fiction.

Even in this OWC there were a lot of interesting female roles,  don't you think?


By interesting, I assume you mean one-dimensional? Almost, every story involved vengeful, catty, sexualized, fashion-obsessed psychos. And when that wasn't happening it was MOTHERHOOD at the core.

And 'not to be taken seriously' is exactly my point. This isn't about PC characters it's about at least attempting to write multi-dimensional ones. I'm all about the 'fantasy' who isn't? But when the fantasy is so 'one-note' like it is here...it kinda makes you wonder. Why? Why no effort whatsoever?

You guys make these ridiculous female characters and then turn on women when we get annoyed by it (not angry) annoyed and for good reason.

'Women aren't funny'

'This isn't the place for 'realistic'...'

And then want us to coo and coddle you all through your masterful projects with interesting male-centric characters?

Look, my script is far from perfect, but I believe I at least made an effort to write a character that anyone would want to act and see.

Maybe, the other ladies feel it more appropriate to 'bore' all these things in silence or whatever, but not me.
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Well, you can't judge everyone's "attitude" by a few scripts.  Some writers really don't get it and others struggle with this or that.

I agree that the vast majority of lesbian themed scripts were poorly done, and when I originally joked about lesbian scripts, I was TOTALLY JOKING!

The nice thing, to me, about these OWC's is that peeps feel more free to share their true feelings in terms of a review, where otherwise, you'll see alot of BS fluff about something from someone they know.

You know you can't please everyone, nor would you  really want to.  If someone says up front, "I hate horror", is that really someone you want praising your script?

You have to take reviews with a whole shaker full of salt.  Many peeps have no clue what they're saying.  Many don't know what's good, bad, or whatever.

You should read your feedback, though.  No reason not to.



I appreciate all feedback! Man/Woman/Straight/LGBT/black/white/so on and so forth. What makes me scratch my head is the complete indifference to wanting to remedy any of these stereotypes whatsoever. That I don't get.

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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
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Well, again, "these stereotypes" is assuming that we all believe they're stereotypes, which is not really the case.

I think the 1 big problem with this challenge was to exclude all opposite sex characters.  IMO, it should have been your main character had to be the opposite sex.

I really don't understand why there were so many lesbo driven stories.  I mean seriously, no reason whatsoever that I can see why peeps think there has to be love interests and sex in their shorts.  It made for unrealistic situations and even cringe worthy, uncomfortable situations.

As Rick said, correctly, look at most movies - the characters, whether make or female, are rarely realistic portrayals of real men and women, which to me, is always a problem.
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Well, again, "these stereotypes" is assuming that we all believe they're stereotypes, which is not really the case.

I think the 1 big problem with this challenge was to exclude all opposite sex characters.  IMO, it should have been your main character had to be the opposite sex.

I really don't understand why there were so many lesbo driven stories.  I mean seriously, no reason whatsoever that I can see why peeps think there has to be love interests and sex in their shorts.  It made for unrealistic situations and even cringe worthy, uncomfortable situations.

As Rick said, correctly, look at most movies - the characters, whether male or female, are rarely realistic portrayals of real men and women, which to me, is always a problem.


Right, but as I was pursuing the female written script comments and I noticed the word 'Stereotype' thrown around a lot.  

And by 'stereotype' you mean what, exactly?

And, there's fictional character and then they're caricatures.

The lesbian thing I just gave up on bc I already knew that 'lesbian' meant porn 'lesbian' and not real lesbian.


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Grandma Bear
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
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I don't get this gender discussion at all. Have you people never written the opposite sex before? Have you been told your opposite gender characters are cliche and unrealistic? We're all human beings. Write about humans...

My take.  


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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 7:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
I don't get this gender discussion at all. Have you people never written the opposite sex before? Have you been told your opposite gender characters are cliche and unrealistic? We're all human beings. Write about humans...

My take.  


Agreed...completely.

I think I can write very god females, but there are times when I purposely make them...uh...a little more like me, I guess.  You get me?  LOL!  

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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw


If you do that, the script will be as good as it gets.





Well played!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Agreed...completely.

I think I can write very god females, but there are times when I purposely make them...uh...a little more like me, I guess.  You get me?  LOL!  



"God females?" -  Freudian typo, IMO.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 8:28pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


"God females?" -  Freudian typo, IMO.


Exactly!!  HA!!!  Funny!!

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eldave1
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 8:31pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze


By interesting, I assume you mean one-dimensional? Almost, every story involved vengeful, catty, sexualized, fashion-obsessed psychos. And when that wasn't happening it was MOTHERHOOD at the core.

And 'not to be taken seriously' is exactly my point. This isn't about PC characters it's about at least attempting to write multi-dimensional ones. I'm all about the 'fantasy' who isn't? But when the fantasy is so 'one-note' like it is here...it kinda makes you wonder. Why? Why no effort whatsoever?

You guys make these ridiculous female characters and then turn on women when we get annoyed by it (not angry) annoyed and for good reason.

'Women aren't funny'

'This isn't the place for 'realistic'...'

And then want us to coo and coddle you all through your masterful projects with interesting male-centric characters?

Look, my script is far from perfect, but I believe I at least made an effort to write a character that anyone would want to act and see.

Maybe, the other ladies feel it more appropriate to 'bore' all these things in silence or whatever, but not me.


I gave this a lot of consideration. Sorry, I don't understand the angst.

I assume that males have more of a struggle writing females (and vice versa) because it is more difficult to write what you are not or what you don't know. For example, I am 60. I have difficulty writing 20 year olds. I am atheist. I have difficulty writing people of faith, etc.

There are no nefarious agendas here. It's the old adage - it's easier to write what you know. If a writer failed to write a complex character when one was needed it probably has more to do with their ability to write complex characters then it does with their view females - and vice versa.






My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 8:55pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


I gave this a lot of consideration. Sorry, I don't understand the angst.

I assume that males have more of a struggle writing females (and vice versa) because it is more difficult to write what you are not or what you don't know. For example, I am 60. I have difficulty writing 20 year olds. I am atheist. I have difficulty writing people of faith, etc.

There are no nefarious agendas here. It's the old adage - it's easier to write what you know. If a writer failed to write a complex character when one was needed it probably has more to do with their ability to write complex characters then it does with their view females - and vice versa.






There's no angst.

I'm not a 60-year-old white man, but I know how to write them because I do my research. I talk to all kinds of people on the regular, which is part of your job as a writer, IMO. So just saying 'oh, I don't get women or young people because I'm not those things'  is no excuse.

Do we really want our daughter's and wives and girlfriends reading or seeing these characters for real?

I'm just saying think about what you put out there in the world.

We all come in contact with the opposite sex and hopefully have convos with them and hear how they talk and GASP ask their opinions abut the world. So what's the issue here?

Nothing 'intentionally' nefarious more like it.
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Grandma Bear
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Quoted from eldave1


I gave this a lot of consideration. Sorry, I don't understand the angst.

I assume that males have more of a struggle writing females (and vice versa) because it is more difficult to write what you are not or what you don't know. For example, I am 60. I have difficulty writing 20 year olds. I am atheist. I have difficulty writing people of faith, etc.

There are no nefarious agendas here. It's the old adage - it's easier to write what you know. If a writer failed to write a complex character when one was needed it probably has more to do with their ability to write complex characters then it does with their view females - and vice versa.


I agree. I used to be in the horse industry. Every time I see a movie where someone who's obvious to me that they are far from an expert rider wins competitions, I cringe. My husband knows a lot a bout car racing, flying and history, everytime he sees a movie where those subjects are a main part of the movie, he cringes. IMHO, one reason Contact was such a great movie and felt like it could maybe happen was because Carl Sagan helped write it. It felt real. I guess instead of talking about gender differences, I guess it boils down to, write what you know. If you want to write about lesbians, but only know the ones in porn made for males, you're probably going to fail. That is not a gender issue, but rather a lack of knowledge of such characters.





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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear


I agree. I used to be in the horse industry. Every time I see a movie where someone who's obvious to me that they are far from an expert rider wins competitions, I cringe. My husband knows a lot a bout car racing, flying and history, everytime he sees a movie where those subjects are a main part of the movie, he cringes. IMHO, one reason Contact was such a great movie and felt like it could maybe happen was because Carl Sagan helped write it. It felt real. I guess instead of talking about gender differences, I guess it boils down to, write what you know. If you want to write about lesbians, but only know the ones in porn made for males, you're probably going to fail. That is not a gender issue, but rather a lack of knowledge of such characters.






Whoo! That's all I've been saying...We as writers are never going to be our characters all the time.  I write fantasy a lot. I'm no witch, no vampire, no fairie. But that doesn't me I don't do my research to understand these things as best I can.

Why write character's if you can't even bother to expand your knowledge on different types of people or things?
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LC
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:16pm Report to Moderator
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I agree with Pia. Write good stories about human beings.

And, keep your ears open at all times. For natural and good dialogue, speech patterns, vernacular etc.. Then get rid of the boring bits and the boring scenarios, cause this is film, not life (what is drama, after all, but life with the dull bits cut out... Hitchcock (Truffaut).

The OWC has a long history of a pisstake script enjoying notoriety, (now and again) and if clever it tickles our funny bone. I think quite a few writers may have decided writing in the opposite gender was ripe for this. Jmh.

The little disclaimer: 'no pisstake entries' is often ignored.

Perhaps there should be a category for say, three to put their hand up, be allowed, and we vote in that particular category. They need to be clever as well as silly though, that's the main thing. They need to be written well. And I don't want to read twenty-five of them.



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eldave1
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Quoted Text
I'm not a 60-year-old white man, but I know how to write them because I do my research. I talk to all kinds of people on the regular, which is part of your job as a writer, IMO. So just saying 'oh, I don't get women or young people because I'm not those things'  is no excuse.


That's not at all what I said. I was not making a case for lazy writing. I was making the case that is easier to write what you know. Do you really disagree with that?


Quoted Text
Do we really want our daughter's and wives and girlfriends reading or seeing these characters for real?


To me that is a personal decision and also entirely dependent on which ones? I thought there were several solid female characters written by the guys. I thought that were some cringe worthy ones is well. In all of those cases I thought it was a misdirection is writing rather than a misdirection in the writers' value systems or their real life perception of the female gender.


Quoted Text
I'm just saying think about what you put out there in the world.


Wow, not for me - at all. I write with total disregard of what the world will think about it from a moral or value perspective. They are my characters and my stories.

Agree to disagree I guess.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Zack
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:28pm Report to Moderator
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What is a "Pisstake entry"? Serious question.

~Zack~
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LC
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A comedic send up/spoof, Zack

Usually in dubious taste.

piss-take
nounBRITISHvulgar slang
noun: pisstake
an act of mockery.
synonyms:     take-off, satire, send-up, burlesque, lampoon, pastiche, caricature, skit, squib, imitation, impression, impersonation, mockery, mimicry, travesty;

U.S. pisser



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Zack
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 9:43pm Report to Moderator
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Ah. Okay. I get it. Thanks. Shoulda just googled it. lol

~Zack~
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 30th, 2017, 11:11pm Report to Moderator
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You know what....I'm sorry. I never realized I was going about defending women who felt they didn't need defending. That's on me. I guess I just look at things differently than most people and I'm passionate about my beliefs. Almost to the point of coming across as soap-boxy. I know.

But, Idk maybe because I've been on the other side of that table, script in hand, and thinking 'Oh God...another one.' I quit acting to focus on my writing (something I've been doing my whole life) because I was so sick and tired of reading these scripts...with these awful female characters.

And having my worth as an actress subject to how well I could pull off a mid-drift and mini skirt. Smiling through the awkward scenes, where I was basically prop furniture to the male protag. Or was a vile creature to be dispised. It sucked.

So, even if you guy's don't consider this an issue, it is. To me it is. And I won't stop fighting for better characters or for proper representation of all women. Women before us have worked tooo damn hard for us to just roll over and take it. And for us to just shrug it off. We shouldn't disappoint them. And that goes for al of us. Man and Woman.

That's all.
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CameronD
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Weak women characters are boring. Strong ones are not.


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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from Female Gaze


By interesting, I assume you mean one-dimensional? Almost, every story involved vengeful, catty, sexualized, fashion-obsessed psychos. And when that wasn't happening it was MOTHERHOOD at the core.

And 'not to be taken seriously' is exactly my point. This isn't about PC characters it's about at least attempting to write multi-dimensional ones. I'm all about the 'fantasy' who isn't? But when the fantasy is so 'one-note' like it is here...it kinda makes you wonder. Why? Why no effort whatsoever?

You guys make these ridiculous female characters and then turn on women when we get annoyed by it (not angry) annoyed and for good reason.

'Women aren't funny'

'This isn't the place for 'realistic'...'

And then want us to coo and coddle you all through your masterful projects with interesting male-centric characters?

Look, my script is far from perfect, but I believe I at least made an effort to write a character that anyone would want to act and see.

Maybe, the other ladies feel it more appropriate to 'bore' all these things in silence or whatever, but not me.


In the scripts I've read there have been warriors, female terminators, Native American Chieftains, Lawyers, Psychiatrists, Private Eyes, Femme Fatales, Thieves, Mothers, Serial Killers.

These are stories written within a week, which isn't easy.

The characters in Meeting the Other Woman, Into the Goodnight, Rebirth, Anna, Poultice, Cherry Pie and others are all interesting in my opinion.  


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DanC
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:07am Report to Moderator
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Ashlie,
    I can understand your angst to a certain point.  However, remember a few things, please.

1.  Just because a person said on SS that SS isn't the place for this sort of conversation doesn't mean they are right.  In fact, we, as writers, have a duty to the public, so, I'd say they are wrong.

For ex.  There are certain things that we  NEVER put in a script because the public is dumb enough to do it.  Case in point:  There was a movie, can't recall the title, where in order to prove how "tough" you were, you had to lie down in the street where a car could hit you.  That was all fine and dandy, until people started dying because they copied what they saw in the film.

I take care to make sure that I don't accidentally write something that could get someone killed.

2.  Just because one person said or did something doesn't mean that the majority agree with them.  In fact, my experience on here is that all of the regulars are really down to earth people and a few others who have had some success are just as helpful and down to earth, willing to dive in next to you if need be to help in some way.  

It seems like a family sort of atmosphere.  Even if that family rips apart your story.  Like I've said far too many times, but, it's true:  I'd rather hear it hear when I can fix it, then have the story get passed over by a person who can further my career for the exact same reason.  

I know my last entry doesn't show it, but, I know I'm a much better writer today than when I first got here.  I've learned so much from some of the people here.

The last thing that I wanted to say is that it might be hard to dive into a OWC writing about the opposite sex in a genre you know next to nothing about.  You had talked about doing research, but, you can't do that much in a OWC.  

I know I wish I had a lot more time, and space, to work on my idea.  But, and I think this is true for many, my story doesn't reflect how I see and interact with women.  

Sometimes, an assignment is just an assignment, just like a dream is just a dream.

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 3:26am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
I don't get this gender discussion at all. Have you people never written the opposite sex before? Have you been told your opposite gender characters are cliche and unrealistic? We're all human beings. Write about humans...

My take.  


I agree with this. They always say write what you know but do you know what we all know about? Life! We experience life every day with people of different genders, race, beliefs etc. A writer absorbs every single life experience and uses them for their stories.

Sure we can't understand another person 100% but we can never understand anyone 100%. Stories would be pretty dull if all authors wrote about was themselves.

Most of the time a writer needs to be challenged, to step outside the box so they expand their horizons and learn. The first film I wrote and produced, I deliberately made the protagonist female because I wanted to see if I could do it.

Don't be afraid to step inside someone's head and live out a story through their eyes. Fear is the main obstacle which blocks writers from growing.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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LC
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 6:07am Report to Moderator
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I'm pretty darned sure I've reviewed and commented on all. If I've missed anyone let me know via PM.


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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 8:48am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
You know what....I'm sorry. I never realized I was going about defending women who felt they didn't need defending.


What kind of defending? Against whom? Defend women on a writers' board???? You simply don't know where you're at. As far you tell everything about you and your beliefs here, Ashlie, I tell you what I believe: I believe my colleagues, writers, here, and around the world are the best people, fine people, and the most sensible persons in the world, with best motives and courage.

Male writers from here, this board, will stand up for women, their rise to true equality, daily - they would do everything with their work, in private discussions, social engagement, literary bleed for woman…

…not only in case of feminism, also tolerance, against discrimination, against violence against children, against war, greed, injustice…

I mean, are you serious people? Are you kidding me???? Where's your honor and integrity peeps?

SHE COMES HERE WITH ALL THOSE COMMENTS AS IF WE'RE A GOSSIP BOARD OR A HATE PRESS COMMENTARY SECTION

and there's no real contra. Then it's my job. Alone, whatever, I give a shit about.

I saw this poisonous atmosphere coming for a while. Now it's time for a clear contradiction to the "Ashlie show" streaming here.



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Female Gaze
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 10:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PrussianMosby


What kind of defending? Against whom? Defend women on a writers' board???? You simply don't know where you're at. As far you tell everything about you and your beliefs here, Ashlie, I tell you what I believe: I believe my colleagues, writers, here, and around the world are the best people, fine people, and the most sensible persons in the world, with best motives and courage.

Male writers from here, this board, will stand up for women, their rise to true equality, daily - they would do everything with their work, in private discussions, social engagement, literary bleed for woman…

…not only in case of feminism, also tolerance, against discrimination, against violence against children, against war, greed, injustice…

I mean, are you serious people? Are you kidding me???? Where's your honor and integrity peeps?

SHE COMES HERE WITH ALL THOSE COMMENTS AS IF WE'RE A GOSSIP BOARD OR A HATE PRESS COMMENTARY SECTION

and there's no real contra. Then it's my job. Alone, whatever, I give a shit about.

I saw this poisonous atmosphere coming for a while. Now it's time for a clear contradiction to the "Ashlie show" streaming here.


Oh you disagree with me...lol...let me cower away and angst about it. Give me a break.

This is a pure example of someone trying to stifle a person with strong views simply because they don't agree with them. I read. I listened, and on some points, I even agreed. I can appreciate the other side of a discussion (NOT ARGUMENT) discussion. If it came across that way....well...that's the internet for you always misconstruing views and turning them into loud masses of anger.

I laughed my ass off at those fart jokes and cunt comments. But, I also noted the one-noteness of a lot of it too. Sorry, calls em' like I sees em'.

And yeah there were some wonderful female characters. Like I always say 'Nothing is all inclusive or all exclusive'

This isn't the Ashlie show and if I commented in great length, it's because I feel strong about what I'm saying. Sorry if that bugs you all.

I am in no way dissing the men on this forum for writing anything. It's an OWC I get that. And this is no way is a reflection of the kind of people you are. ALL of this came about bc someone asked me my feelings about what I have read so far in OWC. I almost didn't say anything bc I knew as soon as I did it was gonna turn into.....'Oh no! An angry feminist head is upset about women characters....' Let's get her!

And you say you saw this a mile away? Yet, this is all coming out of left field for you? Interesting.

Gossip? Where? Hate? Where? From me? Where? I think I have been fair and just about anything I've said on here. I read the shorts...almost all of them. Start to finish. I gave everyone a fair assessment like I said I would, and for the most part, I've enjoyed them.

So, I'm sorry if I'm coming across as an angry bitch out to destroy men and crush their penises under my huge feminist agenda...but get serious.

You don't know me like that.

Check yourself, before you try and check me. SIR!

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CameronD
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 12:34pm Report to Moderator
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Sooooo. how about those scripts everybody???? I have to say of the ones I've read so far none have been perfect but I do like, "Into That Goodnight" the best. Being a parent I got small shivers when I got to the end. Not many scripts can draw an emotion out of me, nonetheless a OWC story.

I also liked "All The Glitters" I'm a honk for westerns, and been waiting to really dig into "Atoll's Edge" as I'm intrigued by the logline and saw the heap of comments it got early on so maybe it's a good one. We'll see.


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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I agree. Those were also my faves. And randomly Lipstick and Dynamite lol...it's so cray!
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Zack
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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"Into That Goodnight" seriously made me tear up a bit. Fantastic story. I really can't wait to see who wrote it.

I've still got a lot of reading left to do.

~Zack~
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
Ashlie,
    I can understand your angst to a certain point.  However, remember a few things, please.

1.  Just because a person said on SS that SS isn't the place for this sort of conversation doesn't mean they are right.  In fact, we, as writers, have a duty to the public, so, I'd say they are wrong.

For ex.  There are certain things that we  NEVER put in a script because the public is dumb enough to do it.  Case in point:  There was a movie, can't recall the title, where in order to prove how "tough" you were, you had to lie down in the street where a car could hit you.  That was all fine and dandy, until people started dying because they copied what they saw in the film.

I take care to make sure that I don't accidentally write something that could get someone killed.

2.  Just because one person said or did something doesn't mean that the majority agree with them.  In fact, my experience on here is that all of the regulars are really down to earth people and a few others who have had some success are just as helpful and down to earth, willing to dive in next to you if need be to help in some way.  

It seems like a family sort of atmosphere.  Even if that family rips apart your story.  Like I've said far too many times, but, it's true:  I'd rather hear it hear when I can fix it, then have the story get passed over by a person who can further my career for the exact same reason.  

I know my last entry doesn't show it, but, I know I'm a much better writer today than when I first got here.  I've learned so much from some of the people here.

The last thing that I wanted to say is that it might be hard to dive into a OWC writing about the opposite sex in a genre you know next to nothing about.  You had talked about doing research, but, you can't do that much in a OWC.  

I know I wish I had a lot more time, and space, to work on my idea.  But, and I think this is true for many, my story doesn't reflect how I see and interact with women.  

Sometimes, an assignment is just an assignment, just like a dream is just a dream.

Dan



I really wish you and Zack would stop apologizing about your scripts. I get that we all struggled on this one....some more than others....I've been getting skewered, personally.

I was asked a loaded question and like an idiot, I was baited into becoming a mouthpiece. I speak for me and only me. But, let the record show at the very beginning of all of this I did ask everyone their opinion which somehow translated into me going on an 'MITCH' hunt. Not my intent at all.

I was referring to research in general and like it's been stated before...this challenge wasn't too bad if you actually have contact with the opposite sex so...idk

If anyone wants to 'school' me. Feel free to PM me.


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Zack
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze



I really wish you and Zack would stop apologizing about your scripts. I get that we all struggled on this one....some more than others....I've been getting skewered, personally.



??? What the hell are you talking about? I've not once apologized about my script. I'm proud of what I wrote, no matter what others think of it.

~Zack~
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:50pm Report to Moderator
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On the Into the Goodnight thread you said you were embarrassed to even be in the same competition,  Zack.

You men.

You'd forget your heads if they weren't stitched on.
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Zack
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
On the Into the Goodnight thread you said you were embarrassed to even be in the same competition,  Zack.


"Almost embarrassed." Not really apologizing though, is it? It was more a compliment to that script.

~Zack~
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


??? What the hell are you talking about? I've not once apologized about my script. I'm proud of what I wrote, no matter what others think of it.

~Zack~


Sorry must have been a mistake.

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Zack
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:03pm Report to Moderator
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It's alright, Ashlie. I'm not trying to be antagonistic or anything. I just don't want people to get the wrong idea about me. Like I've said, I'm proud of what I wrote. I won't make excuses if others don't like it. And I sure as hell won't apologize for it.

~Zack~
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:29pm Report to Moderator
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I'll apologise for mine  

Someone has too


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:37pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Reef Dreamer
I'll apologise for mine  

Someone has too


Apology accepted, brother!  

I'll apologize for Stevie's!  

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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:47pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Apology accepted, brother!  

I'll apologize for Stevie's!  



Make that half an apology - you didn't get to the end  


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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SAC
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:52pm Report to Moderator
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And I'll apologize for Mark's script.  


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irish eyes
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 2:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sally
And I'll apologize for Mark's script.


Zero fucks given here      


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Reef Dreamer
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 3:05pm Report to Moderator
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Sally !!

that made me laugh


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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stevie
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 3:09pm Report to Moderator
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I apologise for Jeff full stop.

As I'm his only buddy in the world - purely on a rental basis, paid into my bank each month - I have to accept full responsibility for his behaviour.

Thats why Aussies are deadset legends



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irish eyes
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Stevie
I apologise for Jeff full stop.

As I'm his only buddy in the world - purely on a rental basis, paid into my bank each month - I have to accept full responsibility for his behaviour.

Thats why Aussies are deadset legends


Sorry to hear that bro... can you get a refund?  


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stevie
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 3:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes



Sorry to hear that bro... can you get a refund?  


No, but I have a solution. We're relocating Jeff to Mexico. I'll visit his hole in the wall once a year



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Dreamscale
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 4:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Reef Dreamer
Make that half an apology - you didn't get to the end  


Uh oh...sorry and a half, for that, then!!  

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Dreamscale
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 4:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from stevie
No, but I have a solution. We're relocating Jeff to Mexico. I'll visit his hole in the wall once a year.


Speaking of holes...you ARESHOLES!!!!!  

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, guys, come on, now. Starting to get a little too far off-topic at this point... =)


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LC
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 5:49pm Report to Moderator
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I dunno, I thought the previous page of stream was a nice bit of comedy.

However, the adjudicator has spoken.


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eldave1
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 8:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Female Gaze
Y

So, even if you guy's don't consider this an issue, it is. To me it is. And I won't stop fighting for better characters or for proper representation of all women. Women before us have worked tooo damn hard for us to just roll over and take it. And for us to just shrug it off. We shouldn't disappoint them. And that goes for al of us. Man and Woman.

That's all.


A separate thread on female characters would be an interesting one, IMO.  


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 8:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
A separate thread on female characters would be an interesting one, IMO.  



Uhhh...or not.  
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Female Gaze
Posted: January 31st, 2017, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale



Uhhh...or not.  


I actually agree
But if we wanna have a section dedicated to 'pointers' on different kinds of characters then maybe.
I guess the screenwriting class section.

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ChrisBodily
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 1:13am Report to Moderator
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I only have eight more to go. The lion's share of 'em have been today. I didn't think I'd manage, being so busy with my birthday, watching Alien in memory pf John Hurt, watching Aliens just because it's not only a great sequel, but a great movie, and just life and chores in general.

But I bet I can make it.


FADE IN:
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khamanna
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 7:57am Report to Moderator
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Read all but three, but I'm not in the challenge and I'm tired - so I'm thinking to stop there and rate.

I couldn't find the third all male entry. Hmm.
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khamanna
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 9:01am Report to Moderator
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Done. 2 Excellents, 3Very Goods and the rest...

It was a good challenge but I got tired of all the females in them for some reason. I noticed many entries put the females into such a special setting where having a male would be impossible. Some settings were quite elaborate! Should have considered that in my voting but I forgot.

I thought the challenge was especially hard for those with noirs and westerns. What about sports? Haven't seen any sports entries.  I was handed that, but requested another and ended up not submitting my SF.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 9:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
What about sports? Haven't seen any sports entries.  I was handed that, but requested another and ended up not submitting my SF.


Three of those were originally selected, but all requested a different genre.


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khamanna
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde


Three of those were originally selected, but all requested a different genre.


Aga! Believe it or not but I knew it, absolutely knew it!

People went in with noir though, interesting. I wonder to see who these people are - these don't scare easily.

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Female Gaze
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 12:44pm Report to Moderator
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It's so crazy but I would have LOVED getting noir or sports.....but I got thriller Not my cup of tea but I guess that was the point.
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MarkItZero
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 2:07pm Report to Moderator
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Can't believe everyone bailed on sports. I was gonna do one about synchronized swimming. Except it was gonna have lesbian sex and murder and very little actual swimming.


That rug really tied the room together.
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Female Gaze
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 2:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Can't believe everyone bailed on sports. I was gonna do one about synchronized swimming. Except it was gonna have lesbian sex and murder and very little actual swimming.


That's cool. Mines was gonna have the same thing except the synchronization was gonna be a circle jerk. And they do swim. I was gonna call it blood sport.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:00pm Report to Moderator
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Not blood spurt?
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Female Gaze
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Not blood spurt?


No. There's a bucket involved.  
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stevie
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Can't believe everyone bailed on sports. I was gonna do one about synchronized swimming. Except it was gonna have lesbian sex and murder and very little actual swimming.


That prolly happens now in that 'sport' lol.

Always thought synchronized water polo with horses would be fun to watch



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MarkRenshaw
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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I've got a few scripts left to read but I'm done in for today. I'll finish them tomorrow and then vote. So far I've a few goods but no very good or excellent, hoping that will change tomorrow!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:46pm Report to Moderator
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I thought about two crack addicts wanting to get into boxing - you know, on purpose, but then decided against them. And I got SF, wrote about a crack addict spying on his clone dad and didn't submit. Cuz too much of it was about crack and Im not one of the Coen's brothers.
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khamanna
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 3:48pm Report to Moderator
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I have an interesting question - is a girl's sex with a doll considered to be lesbian sex? People don't go over the top crazy with female characters. And if it was about men there would be dolls. or talks about dolls. I mean big inflated things.
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Female Gaze
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 4:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
I have an interesting question - is a girl's sex with a doll considered to be lesbian sex? People don't go over the top crazy with female characters. And if it was about men there would be dolls. or talks about dolls. I mean big inflated things.


Yes. A sex doll is simply an artificial mate for the male or female.

The other part makes me think of my real original script where I was paying homage to Japanese Visual Novels and dating sims. It was actually very unsettling because there was a lot of one-sided sexual acts and BDSM. (note: most VN that are erotic follow the same formula but with women) I decided against it bc it freaked me out lol

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khamanna
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Quoted from Female Gaze

I decided against it bc it freaked me out lol


You have to read Pia's mime script or watch as it was filmed and the link posted here. A man has sex with a mime there and that part reads very sensual.

That's probably the weirdest script on the site - I mean in a good way)
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Female Gaze
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Quoted from khamanna

You have to read Pia's mime script or watch as it was filmed and the link posted here. A man has sex with a mime there and that part reads very sensual.

That's probably the weirdest script on the site - I mean in a good way)


I'll def check it out. WE need more sexualized male-driven scripts to be fair.  

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AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 2nd, 2017, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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Right that's everything read and commented upon... when do we vote?


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Grandma Bear
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Quoted from Female Gaze


I'll def check it out.

It was actually a ventriloquist puppet and a mime.


Quoted from Female Gaze
WE need more sexualized male-driven scripts to be fair.  

I've written lots of those.


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Female Gaze
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Quoted from Grandma Bear

It was actually a ventriloquist puppet and a mime.


I've written lots of those.


puppets are scary.

and we thank you for your service.

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ChrisBodily
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All finished, voted, AND read through this thread (all ten pages worth)!



Some of my favorites (besides mine) were Rebirth, Meeting the Other Woman, Life on a Dime, Poultice, All That Glitters, Retribution Ridge, Don't Stop Believing (Hold on to that feeeling  ), Fifty, and Into That Goodnight. FWMTM and Anita Blackman made me laugh. There were more good ones than clunkers, for me.

I have a whopping 9 Excellents, 2 or 3 Very Goods, and I think 2 Goods.

4 Poors. and one measly Fair.


Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Right that's everything read and commented upon... when do we vote?


http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-0117OWC/m-1485620048/

Or better yet

http://simplyscripts.com/WritersChoice-Jan-17-OWC.html


FADE IN:
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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Can't believe everyone bailed on sports. I was gonna do one about synchronized swimming. Except it was gonna have lesbian sex and murder and very little actual swimming.


Was the title going to be "Deadpool"?


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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MarkItZero
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Title was going to be The Deep End. I kinda still wanna write it eventually.

Also, seems like synchronized swimming would be ripe for comedy. I don't think there's been any movie of any genre made about that sport except for documentaries. It's ripe for a Dodgeball sort of film. Especially since I think the general public (me included) sees it as this staid, boring half-sport. You could have an all female cast of wild, boorish misfits and it would clash perfectly with preconceived notions about the sport.  


That rug really tied the room together.
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AnthonyCawood
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Or an all male team trying to break down gender stereotypes and finally be allowed to compete at the Olympics!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 11:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Title was going to be The Deep End. I kinda still wanna write it eventually.

Also, seems like synchronized swimming would be ripe for comedy. I don't think there's been any movie of any genre made about that sport except for documentaries. It's ripe for a Dodgeball sort of film. Especially since I think the general public (me included) sees it as this staid, boring half-sport. You could have an all female cast of wild, boorish misfits and it would clash perfectly with preconceived notions about the sport.  



Its one of my favourite events at the Olympics.  Serious.
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eldave1
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Or an all male team trying to break down gender stereotypes and finally be allowed to compete at the Olympics!


SNL kind of did that one


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Title was going to be The Deep End. I kinda still wanna write it eventually.

Also, seems like synchronized swimming would be ripe for comedy. I don't think there's been any movie of any genre made about that sport except for documentaries. It's ripe for a Dodgeball sort of film. Especially since I think the general public (me included) sees it as this staid, boring half-sport. You could have an all female cast of wild, boorish misfits and it would clash perfectly with preconceived notions about the sport.  


Think that premise has promise


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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MarkItZero
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Or an all male team trying to break down gender stereotypes and finally be allowed to compete at the Olympics!


Oh, wow, that might be even better. Or just one male on the team. How has some idiot executive throwing darts at random words to pick the next Adam Sandler movie not come up with this yet.



Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Its one of my favourite events at the Olympics.  Serious.


I was doing research on it and it's definitely not a simple sport. It's basically swimming, dancing, and gymnastics combined. There's all these different positions and lifts. It was too much to try and learn in a short time.


That rug really tied the room together.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 12:42pm Report to Moderator
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It's brutally hard.  The timing is insane as well.

What I like about it is that I can do all the other sports to some degree,  obviously not to that level  but I can still do them... But that's something totally different.
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AnthonyCawood
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You need to get writing it Mark!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 1:59pm Report to Moderator
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Just letting you guys know that I've tallied up everyone's scores thus far (with about 10 hours left to go). Some of you, however, left a few empties in your online submissions, so I wasn't sure if that was intentional. If it was an oversight, feel free to PM me to update your picks. =)


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 2:20pm Report to Moderator
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Sean, you should have a score for every script from me, including the one I PM'd you about, right?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 2:23pm Report to Moderator
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Jeff,

Yes, you do. This was just a general message. Some did all, some didn't. I just wanted to be sure that nobody accidentally forgot to do some and skipped them intentionally.


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CameronD
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 2:36pm Report to Moderator
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Do we just copy and paste the scorecard to you?


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
http://www.screenplaywritenow.com Write a screenplay. Write. Now.
http://www.SchismSEO.com Separate from your competition. Affordable SEO services
http://www.MyEasyGifter.com Because nobody likes receiving gift cards
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 2:37pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from CameronD
Do we just copy and paste the scorecard to you?


You can PM your completed scorecard to me or you can do it electronically, using the URL on the main page. Either way is fine with me. =)


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Digitaldecayfilms
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Just submitted my score card and I wanted to say I had a lot of fun in this competition.  I'm already excited for the next one!

I'm definitely glad I found this community of writers.  The discourse has been civil and all of the notes have been extremely well thought out and helpful.

Thanks everyone!
Brian


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Female Gaze
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 3:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
The discourse has been civil


My new favorite quote.

I haven't finished yet, I still have to submit scores but this whole experience has been...eyeopening?

My first OWC, short, and my first move towards a female uprising. lol A solitary one but oh well.  

But, I did enjoy, for the most part, all the scripts.

Can't wait for reveals and discussions. I got my notes and questions ready to go.

5 to go!
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MarkRenshaw
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I think I submitted scores (using the online scorecard) for all scripts apart from my own, which I left blank. If I've missed any more that was accidental, let me know and I'll send you the scores for those if that is the case.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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AnthonyCawood
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I've voted too now, apart from my own of course, when's the reveal?


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 3:53pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
I've voted too now, apart from my own of course, when's the reveal?


Pretty much once I tally the scores, the reveal will happen. =)


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khamanna
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Quoted from Digitaldecayfilms

I'm definitely glad I found this community of writers.  The discourse has been civil and all of the notes have been extremely well thought out and helpful.


Good youre enjoying it. Yeah its been exceptionally civil this time)
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AnthonyCawood
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You are such a tease!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 3:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
You are such a tease!


My challenge, my rules... Lol. =)


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DanC
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 4:41pm Report to Moderator
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I just finished all the reads.

I too feel bad for the people that got Noir.  I have a feeling they should have asked for another genre b/c all of them were average, at best...

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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DanC
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 4:47pm Report to Moderator
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I just voted.  Lots of good efforts.  

I got comedy.  Nooo, not true.  I know I made a few people laugh, so that's good.

If only I meant for it to be funny...

I cry now....

Can't wait for the reveal!!

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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PrussianMosby
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 5:32pm Report to Moderator
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If there were an average about quality per genre, I personally found Western pretty strong, followed by SF and Thriller. However, the Western scripts were all all right I think.



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 5:35pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah.  All the westerns were a good effort.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 7:31pm Report to Moderator
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I would have preferred western, or anything else for that matter...

It has been a good challenge but I would not suggest comparing different genres again . It's unfair, IMO.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Grandma Bear
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Quoted from Reef Dreamer

It has been a good challenge but I would not suggest comparing different genres again . It's unfair, IMO.


The challenge sounded awesome and I wished I could've taken part.

I'm glad you didn't call it a contest, because it's not...

I'm looking forward to seeing who wins the coveted mug!  


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PrussianMosby
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Quoted from Reef Dreamer
I would have preferred western, or anything else for that matter...

It has been a good challenge but I would not suggest comparing different genres again . It's unfair, IMO.


Wasn't meant that way.

Do you know what the new voting system means?



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Conz
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 8:04pm Report to Moderator
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western and noir had to be hard.

this is gonna sound really dumb, but I'm not even sure I technically know what a thriller is.  If you put a gun to my head and asked my favorite thriller of all time, I'd say Michael Jackson's and then eat a bullet.


I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.  

"Career" Highlights
-2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page.  
-One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back.  
-I have made more than $1000 with my writing!
-I've won 2 mugs... and a thong.  (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)

@vc_wg - because I crave attention
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PrussianMosby
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 8:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear

The challenge sounded awesome and I wished I could've taken part.

It was indeed great. The diversity was inspiring imo. So many genres, plots and characters. One of the best challenges I think.


Quoted from Conz
If you put a gun to my head and asked my favorite thriller of all time, I'd say Michael Jackson's and then eat a bullet.

Well, this is comedy. And a good answer same time. Wait, did you take a ride with a bulldozer over my sensitive script… Yep, you just did :-) some self irony left





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Female Gaze
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 8:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Conz
western and noir had to be hard.

this is gonna sound really dumb, but I'm not even sure I technically know what a thriller is.  If you put a gun to my head and asked my favorite thriller of all time, I'd say Michael Jackson's and then eat a bullet.


That's hilarious bc I thought the same thing. Thriller can mean a multitude of things and could fall into different genres.

And if you google 'Thriller' (which I did) Michael Jackson is what pops up first.  
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Cameron
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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Well done ya'll, especially the writers!

Odd OWC this one. I reckon due to the nature of the challenge we actually ended up with far more variety than normal, which was nice (to quote the Fast Show). There was always the chance that the writing standards may slip due to the scattergun nature of the themes, but glad to see that overall this wasn't the case.

Anyway, well done to all the writers, gutted I wasn't able to join in myself due to international travel nonsense, but the scripts helped keep me sane during a mental week. Things learned over the period, comedy writing is very tough, Australian weather is nice, Scottish weather is not.

I reckon there's a fairly clear winner in there, will be interesting to see who the author is, haven't worked it out yet myself.

Much love and congrats to all entrants

Cam x
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LC
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Aussie weather is very steamy at the moment...

There is often a bit of overlap with 'thriller' as a genre. A SF can be a thriller, mystery, drama with thriller elements, psychological thriller etc.

The main thing when searching Thriller definition is to put movie or genre in the search. Otherwise, yes, MJ gonna come up.    

Thriller:

What makes a thriller?
Thriller is a genre of literature, film and television that uses suspense, tension and excitement as the main elements. Thrillers can be divided into different categories: - Action Thrillers. A good thriller showcases intense excitement: building up suspense, tension and anticipation of things to come.

http://thescriptlab.com/screenplay/genre/thriller

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_thriller_films_of_the_2010s

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thriller_(genre)


Anyway, I still have to vote. Still time?

Then off for a swim.


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 10:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cameron
I reckon there's a fairly clear winner in there, will be interesting to see who the author is, haven't worked it out yet myself.

Cam x


You think?  There's a clear winner?  I don't think so at all.  In act, I think there are 4-7 contenders.  It will come down to how Sean is "grading" these.

I would think there's a numerical grade for each "score".  Like -1 for poor, 0 for fair, and +1 for good, +2 for very good, and +3 for the rare excellent.

We'll see.  I had no excellent scripts, and only a couple very good.

Should be interesting.

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Cameron
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 10:23pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Jeff, I just re-read all of the comments section (jetlag's a bitch), and I think there's a clear winner there. Put it this way, if it was the Melbourne Cup and the script was a horse, it'd be a clear odds on favourite. I'd be stunned if it didn't win, not just from my personal opinion but on the overall opinion of all reviewers.

LC, you're killing me, Scottish weather is a rather metaphorical "steamy" pile of something. It's funny how much you miss the sun when it's hidden behind a cloud... permanently...
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 10:38pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
It will come down to how Sean is "grading" these.

I would think there's a numerical grade for each "score".  Like -1 for poor, 0 for fair, and +1 for good, +2 for very good, and +3 for the rare excellent.


Jeff,

I'm glad you brought that up. I remember back in the days of MoviePoet (rest its soul) and how perfect its grading system was. A few months before it went down, I went through about a year's worth of contest results to determine the calculation.

It's hard for me to actually explain what the math problem is, so I'll give an example.

Short version is not far off from what you described. Poor is 1, Fair 2, Good 3, Very Good 4, Excellent 5.

So, if a script had 2 Poors, 3 Fairs, 1 Good, 3 Very Good and 2 Excellent, here what it would look like. 2 points for Poor (2 1's), 6 points for Fair (3 2's), 3 points for Good (1 3), 12 points for Very Good (3 4's) and 10 points for Excellent (2 5's).

After that, it becomes a simple average. 2 + 6 + 3 + 12 + 10 = 33. Then, you divide by the number of total reviews you received (11). 33 / 11 = 3 (I swear, it just happened that way. Lol).

Luckily, while I used to have to do it by hand with MP (besides I'd have to add up how many reviews everyone got and determine how many of each score they got), all that information is available from the get-go this time, so while I won't have the scores up immediately at midnight, you won't be waiting too long for your reveal. =)


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LC
Posted: February 3rd, 2017, 11:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cameron
LC, you're killing me, Scottish weather is a rather metaphorical "steamy" pile of something. It's funny how much you miss the sun when it's hidden behind a cloud... permanently...

Yep. But, you can have too much of a good thing according to some. My other half's born and bred up your way and he says Oz is often too blue, too bright, too hot etc. I still think it's pretty darned good and I'm working on giving Winter a big miss when it next rolls around.  



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 12:27am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


You think?  There's a clear winner?  I don't think so at all.  In act, I think there are 4-7 contenders.  It will come down to how Sean is "grading" these.

I would think there's a numerical grade for each "score".  Like -1 for poor, 0 for fair, and +1 for good, +2 for very good, and +3 for the rare excellent.

We'll see.  I had no excellent scripts, and only a couple very good.

Should be interesting.



There's 2 standout scripts.  Into that goodnight and meeting the other woman. The latter does technically break the genre rules,  though.  The former has to be the favourite.

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Scar Tissue Films  -  February 4th, 2017, 1:20am
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 12:49am Report to Moderator
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I think there are 4, 5, or even 6 entries that will be have a chance here.  And, I think the results will be surprise, for the overall top 2.

We'll see.  Looking forward to the reveal of who wrote what and even why.  HA!!

Good OWC, Blondie!  Good turn out, good reads and feedback, for a change, and not too much shite this go'round.

Good job, everyone!!!
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LC
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I think there are a few quite good scripts.

For vibe and atmosphere, and something out of the box, I really liked Cherry Pie.

Atoll's Edge gets points for its ambition. Not sure how it would translate to screen without a massive budget and fx.

Fifty is good and I marked it so, but it does feel like I've seen it before.
Ditto for Into That Goodnight which gets brownie points for the addition of SF elements (but it was in a bit of a loop of its own by the end imh)
Rebirth was good...
Meeting The Other Woman had some holes but it made me read on... Make more of the twist.
Survival Mentality - needs a rework imh, but could be good.
Super Scoop was pleasant, intelligently written, just not mind boggling.
Anna has moments of inspired writing/ideas that could be developed nicely. Add perhaps a different angle, otherwise it is a bit too familiar.
Poultice was nearly there for me, but more filler/atmosphere is needed.

Just my thoughts...

Nothing really stood out as hands down remarkable for me this time around but the scripts above tackled the opposite gender dialogue challenge decently and the stories were engaging.


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:33am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
I think there are a few quite good scripts.

For vibe and atmosphere, and something out of the box, I really liked Cherry Pie.

Atoll's Edge gets points for its ambition. Not sure how it would translate to screen without a massive budget and fx.

Fifty is good and I marked it so, but it does feel like I've seen it before.
Ditto for Into That Goodnight which gets brownie points for the addition of SF elements (but it was in a bit of a loop of its own by the end imh)
Rebirth was good...
Meeting The Other Woman had some holes but it made me read on... Make more of the twist.
Survival Mentality - needs a rework imh, but could be good.
Super Scoop was pleasant, intelligently written, just not mind boggling.
Anna has moments of inspired writing/ideas that could be developed nicely. Add perhaps a different angle, otherwise it is a bit too familiar.
Poultice was nearly there for me, but more filler/atmosphere is needed.

Just my thoughts....


Couldn't disagree more with the vast majority of these picks. Most of these were very poorly written, sorry to say.  Shocking...

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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:34am Report to Moderator
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And yours,  Libby.  
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:41am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
And yours,  Libby.  


Which one is Libby's?  How do you know, Rick?  

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Female Gaze
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:47am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Which one is Libby's?  How do you know, Rick?  



Oh, come on! If you guys haven't figured out which one was her's and mines by now......lol

But seriously, I take that as a compliment if you can't tell.

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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:48am Report to Moderator
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Bed time for Bonzo.  11:50 here in AZ.

Hope to see some news tomorrow morning.

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LC
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
And yours,  Libby.  

Whatcha talking about, Rick?   Mine's what? Poor? Disappointing, or brilliant?  

If there had been five female writers it might be a big mystery, or at least difficult to narrow it down...

Oh, it's been fun.

Night-night, Jeffrey.



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DanC
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 2:17am Report to Moderator
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I must be a total idiot.  I don't know anyone's script. so, take that as an insult or compliment.  But, as with my OWC, I'm clueless..

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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khamanna
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


There's 2 standout scripts.  Into that goodnight and meeting the other woman. The latter does technically break the genre rules,  though.  The former has to be the favourite.


Those were my only two excellents as well.
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LC
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 2:55am Report to Moderator
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How does the latter script break the genre rule? Is this the 'drama' debate, or what? I mean, that technically there was no 'drama' category? That's a nitpick surely.


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MarkRenshaw
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I wake up thinking, I'll go check who wrote what and was surprised to find no reveal.

Ah well, my 2 cents is there's one clear winner here but I think it's really open for the next few spots as there's a lot of scripts which I think will get Good or Very Good points.

My own script, I'm pleased with the overall reviews. I knocked it up in about 4 hours and finished it at 11:35 pm Friday. By that point I was simply incapable of checking for typos and other mistakes so I'm pleased anyone understood it.

It started off with a bunch of amazing reviews and I thought for sure it was going to win but then towards the latter few days it got the usual, "I just don't get it, I'm out" type comments. One comment said there wasn't enough detail then later someone said there was too much. Don't you just love contradicting opinions?!?!

But I am very satisfied and I've loads of ideas for draft 2. I also enjoyed reading all your scripts which has given me loads of other ideas for scripts in which I can steal your ideas! I mean, be influenced creatively by you!

I LOVE THESE OWC's!!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 6:25am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
How does the latter script break the genre rule? Is this the 'drama' debate, or what? I mean, that technically there was no 'drama' category? That's a nitpick surely.


Libby, there was "random" so I'm thinking that person couldve been dished out "random"
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LC
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 7:10am Report to Moderator
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Ah, thanks Kham. So that entry is valid then.


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 9:30am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Ah, thanks Kham. So that entry is valid then.


Sean never responded to my question regarding this, but it was my assumption that drama was not a choice any way you look at it.  If that's indeed the case, it's another DQ for sure.

I mean, c'mon peeps...you've got 2 parameters to meet.  How can one purposely not adhere and other peeps say great job?  I honestly don't get it.

If my entry, First Wommanized Mission to Mars doesn't win, this will be my last OWC ever!!!!!  It is the clear cut champion and you better all realize that.  You get me?

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khamanna
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Did we play who wrote what?

Everyone knows about two girl entries. And about Dont Stop Believing perhaps. What about the rest?
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 9:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
Did we play who wrote what?

Everyone knows about two girl entries. And about Dont Stop Believing perhaps. What about the rest?


I don't know the girl's scripts or anything!!!

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Female Gaze
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 10:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Sean never responded to my question regarding this, but it was my assumption that drama was not a choice any way you look at it.  If that's indeed the case, it's another DQ for sure.

I mean, c'mon peeps...you've got 2 parameters to meet.  How can one purposely not adhere and other peeps say great job?  I honestly don't get it.

If my entry, First Wommanized Mission to Mars doesn't win, this will be my last OWC ever!!!!!  It is the clear cut champion and you better all realize that.  You get me?



Careful you don't want to incite another riot and then subsequently receive no backlash lol

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Female Gaze
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 10:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


I don't know the girl's scripts or anything!!!



WOMEN!!!!  

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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 10:22am Report to Moderator
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OK, I found the 2 "women's" scripts.

Who wrote everything else?
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khamanna
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Quoted from Dreamscale


I don't know the girl's scripts or anything!!!


DSB is yours
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 11:05am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Sean never responded to my question regarding this, but it was my assumption that drama was not a choice any way you look at it.  If that's indeed the case, it's another DQ for sure.

I mean, c'mon peeps...you've got 2 parameters to meet.  How can one purposely not adhere and other peeps say great job?  I honestly don't get it.

If my entry, First Wommanized Mission to Mars doesn't win, this will be my last OWC ever!!!!!  It is the clear cut champion and you better all realize that.  You get me?


Hey, Jeff. Did I ignore your question? Why, yes, I did. Actually, I answered it to the writer when it was PMed to me. They came to me with the question after they got their first criticism about it being a straight drama and whether or not they should have been DQed and wanted me to pull it.

I responded that, since they wrote the script thinking random meant writer's choice (and hadn't noticed the section about what random entailed), they wrote the script in good faith and that it didn't need to be pulled, but I would do it if they wanted it to be.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 11:06am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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That said, you guys can talk about your scripts, now. I would figure to have the results up within the next hour or so.


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Female Gaze
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 11:10am Report to Moderator
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Well, I at least, know what four writer's wrote.

And I'm shocked about how wrong I was.
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irish eyes
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 11:32am Report to Moderator
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I wrote mine


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eldave1
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Quoted from irish eyes
I wrote mine


Love it


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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MarkRenshaw
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I wrote the one about the woman.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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SAC
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:02pm Report to Moderator
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I'd tell you which one I wrote,
but no sense beating a dead horse.


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Female Gaze
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 1:35pm Report to Moderator
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Well...I think it's time to get this party started!

I'm about to put Q&A for my script if anyone is interested.

Re (t) con was mine.
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 2:02pm Report to Moderator
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Mine was Up from the Depths 2.
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Scar Tissue Films
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Quoted from Female Gaze
Well...I think it's time to get this party started!

I'm about to put Q&A for my script if anyone is interested.

Re (t) con was mine.


Good story.
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MarkRenshaw
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Mine was Up from the Depths 2.


That was my favorite! I voted Mega Excellent on that.

I'll pop some notes in mine when the names are officially announced and you can ask me any questions you like there, here, via PM or by telepathy if you prefer.



For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 2:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw


That was my favorite! I voted Mega Excellent on that.

I'll pop some notes in mine when the names are officially announced and you can ask me any questions you like there, here, via PM or by telepathy if you prefer.


Oh wait...that's right...that was a different OWC, but I did write it!!  

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: February 4th, 2017, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry it took so long for the results to go up. Took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would. I'd like to say congratulations to all that entered and thank you for participating. With that, this One Week Challenge is officially closed. =)


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