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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The April 2021 Challenge  ›  A Period Piece - 04C
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  Author    A Period Piece - 04C  (currently 1016 views)
Matthew Taylor
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 10:43am Report to Moderator
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Hi Writer

Jokes didn't really land with me, I'm not the audience for this.

I only really have one question, why is a girl of early teens (or whatever age these things happen) calling her dad because she needs a shit?

Best of luck with it

Matt


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:08pm Report to Moderator
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Ahh, a bit of toilet humor in disguise.

Yup, this is one of those different strokes for different folks. I see the humor in Modern Family and Two and a Half Men, but I didn’t laugh. I laughed at Louie, Inside Amy Schumer and Broad City. Although I felt I was in good hands as I was reading this I’m in the "not-that funny" camp, just merely humorous. Don't get me wrong, not bad by any means. Best of Irish luck. -A


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ReneC
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:55pm Report to Moderator
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Everything here works for audio only, but it's a lot of burps, farts, and knee-slaps to listen to. Then again, that all kind of goes with the potty humour of the premise. Leroy is a character all right, you nailed that aspect, but not one I'd like to spend a good amount of time listening to.

For what it is, it works just fine. Not really my cup of tea though.


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Zack
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:11pm Report to Moderator
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Ha! Made me laugh! Guess I'm not very classy. Lol. No problem with the way it's written, as it could be produced as an audio play without missing anything. Yep, this checks all the boxes for me. One of my favorites.
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Spqr
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 12:14pm Report to Moderator
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Leroy doing Bob Newhart is pretty funny, but I don’t think his fart buddies contribute much to the humor. And I don’t know what the standards in raunch movies are today, but is discussing her period, and “deuces,” with his young teenage daughter in front of a bunch of old guys really acceptable?
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