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I really liked this one. Creative and horrific. I do wish we would have gotten more of a reaction from the Captain at the end. Definitely meets the challenge. Writing is great, no complaints there. This is a good one.
The action and dialog were good, but I think what’s missing is a stated reason for the existence of the thing in the space ship. Was it an experiment gone bad, or did it come from out “there?”
Insert usual disclaimer here, not a pro, just an interested reader.
I'm a sucker for “space" movies —
I read this a couple of times to form an opinion. I thought that was very serviceable for a Sci-Fi, it works good as an audio here, you painted the picture well enough.
I’m known for not having a sense of humor, but the ending did elicit a chuckle.
Neat idea, good job with the descriptions. The tone was a little wobbly. It could have been a dark comedy and flirted with that in the middle with the whole stick-my-head through bit, and that would have been great. As it is, the ending seemed to light and fluffy instead of grim. I still like it, the captain expects to be obeyed and that's turned on its head like a mirror being held up. Which is a missed opportunity, I felt, to echo the captain's own words about the entity mimicking speech.
Kind of on the fence with this one. I liked it, but it didn't grab me tight. Actually, the truth is, there was another script in this challenge that had a similar premise -- same type of reveal -- that was just better, IMO. So, as this was a decent story, it gets a decent mark. Good work.