Unlike some others, I'm not getting hung-up on what does or doesn't comply with the challenge rules.

This is a good story. Original, fast-paced, well-scripted. Good action descriptions, snappy dialogue.

My only beef is Daniel's lengthy dialogue, top of page 4. Perhaps it could be shortened, split into two, and/or tweaked a bit to sound less like exposition.

But overall, an excellent effort, especially given the time-frame. Good luck with it!

Well, this was different, and creepy.
With some social and ethical cautionary commentary as well.

I won't pile on re the obvious.
Nice job.

Logline's a mouthful. This one's kinda messy, with lots of typos and awkward dialog. Feels like a first draft. There's actually a pretty neat story here, but I think this one needs the visuals. Still, I didn't hate it. Wouldn't mind seeing a cleaned-up draft.

The sound effects were effective in telling us what was happening as Dr. Kinley made her way from the medical lab to the basement. I would have liked some idea as to what the “specimens” were, or what they looked like, as I think this would add to the horror of what Dr. Kinley was about to give birth to.

Just my thoughts, take it or leave it, for whatever you think it's worth.

The story itself is interesting, I don't know if you're planning this, but I kept getting an ALIEN vibe.

Like I stated previously, a huge fan of sci-Fi. Fast and flowing. I liked it. But do take a second pass and overall airbrush to the pages.

All the best with it.

Ghost

I like the three-minute countdown to destruction and the gelatinous resin. Cool.

I had a hard time with the immediate labor. One minute the main character is being awaken out of a deep sleep via alarms. Moments later, she declares that she is in labor. A sudden swing.

This feels like a version of Alien.

As some guessed, this was my homage to the Alien franchise while trying to avoid copyright infringement. I also tried to be clever and make it work both visually and as an audio drama, but that will teach me not to try anything fancy and keep it simple.

I'm grateful for all the comments, I know exactly what I need to do for the next draft.

- Mark

Good job, Mark. This one received my only 5 star vote. Loved this.

Thanks, Steve. I really appreciate that.