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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The April 2021 Challenge  ›  The Scripts of the April '21 Quickie Challenge
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  Author    The Scripts of the April '21 Quickie Challenge  (currently 5064 views)
Don
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 12:10pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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24 scripts by 23 authors (someone slipped a second one through).

Scifi, Thriller, Action, Horror

The Specimen by Doctor NotSpock - Short, Sci Fi - A scientist working in a secret base has three minutes to escape its self-destruction while in labour and trying to avoid escaped monsterous specimens.

Vacuum by Ham the Chimp - Short, Sci Fi - All a lonely Astronaut wants is a little help from Control.

Duty Calls by Cheery Prawn 5 - Short, Action - External interruptions influence the performance of elite squad members and threaten mission success.

Kittens by Anon - Short, Thriller - When it comes to love, always have a backup plan.

Soul Chat by Moloch - Short, Thriller - A bored student strikes up a chat with a stranger who knows him far better than he thinks.

Discovery by Michael Burnham - Short, Sci Fi - The discovery of a lifetime becomes more than one astronomer ever imagined.

Home Call by Ghost Writer - Short, Horror - A businessman phones home after an accident, only to find his wife doesn't recognize him.

Poor Bastard by Ryker Piccard - Short, Thriller - The poor bastard is stuck on the other side.

It Was Dark and Stormy by John Silence - Short, Horror - A businessman learns there are some things you shouldn't try to exploit.

Off the Record by Deep Throat - Short, Horror - A ambitious reporter makes a shot-in-the-dark call to a suspected murderer.

Drama

Goodbye by Blank name, also - Short, Drama - A father receives the worst phone call of his life.

Fatal Distraction by Not Again... - Short, Drama - A woman is forced to make a choice whether to forgive her husband after the death of their child while in his care.

Coldwater Two by Barry Voight - Short, Drama - A USGS volcanologist reports his observations of Mt. St. Helens.

Sin Sation by Blank - Short, Drama - A man must decide if confession over the phone will save his soul.

A Protocol by N/A - Short, Drama - A rule-abiding employee falls prey to restrictions set by her employer.

Last Call by El Padre - Short, Drama - A man calls his wife as she lies dying in a hospital bed during the Covid pandemic.

Desperate Times by A Desperado - Short, Drama, Experimental - Desperate times call for desperate measures when a dying woman's son goes to great lengths to see her one last time.

Comedy

Rigatoni Rigmarole by Blank, but a different 'blank' - Short, Comedy - Four old school Wise Guys cope with the intricacies of modern-day technology.

What's Your Emergency? by The Don - Short, Comedy - A 911 operator gets an unexpected call from the grave.

I Can't Get No Satisfaction by Casey Kasem - Short, Comedy - A radio DJ tries his best to give away a cash prize over the air, but the listeners aren't having any part of it.

Thought Police by George Orwell - Short, Comedy - Can the police arrest you for your thoughts?

A Fool's Errand by Bob The Builder - Short, Comedy - Have you ever wondered what it's like to order non-existent objects?

A Period Piece by B & B - Short, Comedy - For Leroy, a night of poker with the boys gets interesting when his daughter calls with some... issues.



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

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Don  -  April 24th, 2021, 8:20am
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Zack
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 12:26pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for getting all these up, Don! Great turnout! Looking forward to diving in later tonight.

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irish eyes
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 12:48pm Report to Moderator
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There's a few scripts on here that you click on and it sends you to another script??


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Zack
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 12:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes
There's a few scripts on here that you click on and it sends you to another script??


Getting the same issue.
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Don
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 1:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from irish eyes
There's a few scripts on here that you click on and it sends you to another script??


I've fixed the issue.  Apologies.

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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khamanna
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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thanks Don! These are quick reads! I started a few minutes ago and already read two. Haven't commented yet but it's coming
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SAC
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 2:06pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Great turnout, Don! Thanks for the challenge. Love to see the boards jumping!


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 2:59pm Report to Moderator
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Great turnout, short short challenges rock!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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eldave1
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 4:15pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Don!

Well, from my reads so far, I am pretty confident that this is going to be a scoring challenge - everything is pretty good and pretty close to each other quality-wise.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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JEStaats
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 4:26pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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12 down with 12 to go. loving this challenge and how quick the reads seem to be. So much variety too.

Great job, Don!
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Warren
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 4:54pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Wow, excellent turnout for such a complex challenge.

Thanks, Don for providing the space for this to happen.


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LC
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Yay! Boards are going full pelt. Great to see the big turnout.
Looking forward to diving in very shortly.

Once again, thanks Don for the inspiration and for something very different in the way of a challenge.


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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 6:08pm Report to Moderator
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Busy writing and other things this weekend, but I'll get to these during the week. Good turnout,  looking forward to see what you crazy cats have come up with.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Warren
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 8:11pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Haha well mine is going about as well as I thought it would.

Looking forward to getting into these.


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LC
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 8:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
Haha well mine is going about as well as I thought it would.
Looking forward to getting into these.

Take the feedback where you think it's apt and improve bits later, but if you think it's good don't talk yourself out of it.

This is what I tell myself.  

We have to imagine these scripts coming through audio. Reading on paper is different.
I've been listening to Calls on Apple TV and some of them are great. I notice one of the Eps seemed to be taken direct from a 911 call, but they added an additional spin/twist which really made it memorable.

With a rewrite mine would fit in perfectly.
I'm talking myself up here btw, for the crack.  



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Warren
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

Take the feedback where you think it's apt and improve bits later, but if you think it's good don't talk yourself out of it.

This is what I tell myself.  

We have to imagine these scripts coming through audio. Reading on paper is different.
I've been listening to Calls on Apple TV and some of them are great. I notice one of the Eps seemed to be taken direct from a 911 call, but they added an additional spin/twist which really made it memorable.

With a rewrite mine would fit in perfectly.
I'm talking myself up here btw, for the crack.  



Won't be returning to this script, enjoyed the process, but I definitely prefer visual scripts. Never thought I had a good script here,  mediocre at best

I binged Calls last night, mainly just to see what they involved. I enjoyed maybe 3 out of the lot. Not really my cup of tea.


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MarkItZero
Posted: April 17th, 2021, 10:52pm Report to Moderator
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Damn, people really brought their A-game for this challenge. Always great to see the wild things people can come up with under such tough parameters.


That rug really tied the room together.
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 2:37am Report to Moderator
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I'm seeing quite a few comments on multiple scripts where the reader thinks some of the action is visual. In audio scripts, the action is usually marked as FX which signifies the audio engineers do their magic and create the sounds to reflect the action. Example:

FX : John walks down the cobbled street.

Then the audio engineers make the clip-clop of shoes walking down the street.

Other examples:

FX: A massive brawl breaks out in the bar.
FX: The Death Star fires, destroying the planet
FX: The TARDIS lands in the depths of a jungle. Out steps the Doctor and his companion, Rose.

Combined with the dialogue, the sound FX can cover pretty much everything. If you've never heard an audio drama, I'd highly recommend the Big Finish Doctor Who range as prime examples.

So, if you read some action that you think is visual,  imagine it in the hands of a skilled sound engineer. Sure, some dialogue may need tweaking  to help get it across, but a lot more is possible in audio than you may realise.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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eldave1
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 1:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
I'm seeing quite a few comments on multiple scripts where the reader thinks some of the action is visual. In audio scripts, the action is usually marked as FX which signifies the audio engineers do their magic and create the sounds to reflect the action. Example:

FX : John walks down the cobbled street.

Then the audio engineers make the clip-clop of shoes walking down the street.

Other examples:

FX: A massive brawl breaks out in the bar.
FX: The Death Star fires, destroying the planet
FX: The TARDIS lands in the depths of a jungle. Out steps the Doctor and his companion, Rose.

Combined with the dialogue, the sound FX can cover pretty much everything. If you've never heard an audio drama, I'd highly recommend the Big Finish Doctor Who range as prime examples.

So, if you read some action that you think is visual,  imagine it in the hands of a skilled sound engineer. Sure, some dialogue may need tweaking  to help get it across, but a lot more is possible in audio than you may realise.


Yeah.... some clearly were visual scripts....

The one I am concerned about misinterpretation-wise is the one that used TEXT. Clearly test is visual - HOWEVER - text was specifically allowed in the parameters.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts

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Geezis
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 2:11pm Report to Moderator
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Read all scripts over the past 2 days and I liked the diversity and the amount of effort put into telling a story in four pages or under. Kudos to everyone who took part.


If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
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jayrex
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 3:09pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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A lot of good scripts.  Quite an enjoyable weekend.


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Claudio
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Quoted from eldave1

Yeah.... some clearly were visual scripts....

The one I am concerned about misinterpretation-wise is the one that used TEXT. Clearly test is visual - HOWEVER - text was specifically allowed in the parameters.


Oh wow, you're totally right. The fully "text" script meets the parameters. Good catch. I was expecting only audio scripts.
Some were very visual with their action, but I didn't dock any for that reason alone.

Apparently we could have done a morse code script as well haha.


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Warren
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 4:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Finally have some free time, diving into these today


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eldave1
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Quoted from Claudio


Oh wow, you're totally right. The fully "text" script meets the parameters. Good catch. I was expecting only audio scripts.
Some were very visual with their action, but I didn't dock any for that reason alone.

Apparently we could have done a morse code script as well haha.


Yes but every line would have been....


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Warren
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Damn, these entries are generally quite strong. SS members never cease to amaze.


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Gum
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 7:56pm Report to Moderator
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Got about ten down today, I’ll get to the rest later this week. Won’t go into the dumbass logistics of it, but I buggered my hand a bit this weekend and clicking a mouse and typing is like pulling teeth right now, not looking for sympathy, just letting you know if I haven’t commented on your script yet I’ll definitely get to it later this week; Hang on Sloopy.

Great turnout, lots of fun interesting stories going on here this round.
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Warren
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 9:25pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Okay, just the comedies to go, I hope you comedy writers brought it!


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Warren
Posted: April 18th, 2021, 10:41pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Done!

Congrats to all that entered, some definite standouts in the bunch.

Also a lot of clearly visual scripts, I'm really not sure how to score them, but I've got a few days to think about it.

Really surprised at the variety as well, this was a great challenge.

Thanks, Don.


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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 2:45am Report to Moderator
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Here's a good example of an audio drama script. I was going to write mine like this but decided to do it more traditional, but I wish I had put the extra effort in now.

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/Stardust-Studio-Script.pdf


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Matthew Taylor
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I don't want to read the comments on mine anymore lol I'm so misunderstood  

A bit late to the party but starting to get through some now.

Fantastic turnout, and super quick reads. Love me a quickie.


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:11am Report to Moderator
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First time I've ever read/reviewed all the scripts in one sitting, so kudos to Don for putting together a challenge that was such a breeze to read through.

I know the parameters were a bit confusing at first and I know some folks have written visual elements into their scripts (myself included) but in each one the focus has been on people having conversations through a device which is the core parameter. I also believe most of the visual elements would work with sound effects with just a bit of a tweak to the action and dialogue.

I won't be downgrading anyone for visual elements, it will be based on the story, characters and original spins as usual. There are a lot of solid entries this time around, you guys are talented bitches!  


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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JEStaats
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 9:43am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw

I won't be downgrading anyone for visual elements, it will be based on the story, characters and original spins as usual.


I'll have to disagree as the challenge (to me) was purely audio. If I thought I could get away with slipping in a visual or three, it may have made my choices of storytelling different.

This is not to change anyone's interpretation in scoring but it will factor into mine.

All told, some pretty fantastic entries and everyone should feel proud. You gotta love a challenge that puts us out of our comfort zone.
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MarkRenshaw
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Normally I would agree with you and say the rules are the rules, but Dom specifically requested we don't penalise those with visual elements - "Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not (and you should not) penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  Also, some used a radio script format and some used traditional screenplay format.  Both worked really well.  I hope that everyone can review and score based on the merits of the stories as they are told and not get hung up on the formatting. "

Everyone votes as they please, but I think it would be unfortunate someone gets points deducted because they wrote a script with visual elements or wrote a radio formatted script, as I've seen a few comments about not liking the format of the few scripts who have chosen this Radio layout.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Matthew Taylor
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Woah they were super quick to read  - quickie challenges should be the norm.

I too will be marking down some entries that rely too heavily on visuals. It's not to punish them, but more to reward those who found creative ways to get the audio element across effectively.

Well done everyone on entering, some real fun reads in there



Feature

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Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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AnthonyCawood
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I agree with Matt/John, if part of the challenge was to create a script that was entirely (or almost entirely) audio then those where little or no attempt has been made should be reflected in the scores.

I'm not DQing anyone for it but part of any challenge is to meet the stated criteria, if it's not somehow captured in the scores then why have criteria?

And I do accept that a good sound engineer could take any of these scripts and make them audio only (apart from the text one)... but that can be said of anything script we write, this challenge was to intentionally write something that was audio first.

imho of course.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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ReneC
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I had a busy weekend and only got a few read so far. Diving back in today!


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MarkItZero
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 12:30pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, gonna try and finish these today. I have two favorites so far, tons of solid entries.


That rug really tied the room together.
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eldave1
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
I agree with Matt/John, if part of the challenge was to create a script that was entirely (or almost entirely) audio then those where little or no attempt has been made should be reflected in the scores.

I'm not DQing anyone for it but part of any challenge is to meet the stated criteria, if it's not somehow captured in the scores then why have criteria?

And I do accept that a good sound engineer could take any of these scripts and make them audio only (apart from the text one)... but that can be said of anything script we write, this challenge was to intentionally write something that was audio first.

imho of course.


Now I agree with Matt/John/Anthony.

It is the very nature of the OWC.  I had an idea that I loved - one that I will write later - BUT - couldn't pull it off without the visuals (it relied on some facial expressions and visual screenshots of a phone). So - I said eff it - got to come up with something else.

Not DQ ing anything - but I reward scripts that come closer to the challenge parameters vs ones that don't come close. The good news is that generally - at least for me - it wouldn't have made any difference in the outcome - not sure I ever ran across something that I thought was the best script that didn't meet the parameters.

Oddly missing from these visual scripts - NARRATORS. It didn't strike me a a device until I started reading - but there were so many visuals in some cases I thought - hmm, why didn't they just use a narrator -

NARRATOR (V.O)

Dave sat at his desk and ground his teeth as he contemplated
how he should have used a Narrator in his story.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
Normally I would agree with you and say the rules are the rules, but Dom specifically requested we don't penalise those with visual elements - "Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not (and you should not) penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  Also, some used a radio script format and some used traditional screenplay format.  Both worked really well.  I hope that everyone can review and score based on the merits of the stories as they are told and not get hung up on the formatting. "

Everyone votes as they please, but I think it would be unfortunate someone gets points deducted because they wrote a script with visual elements or wrote a radio formatted script, as I've seen a few comments about not liking the format of the few scripts who have chosen this Radio layout.


Not exactly what Don said.

Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  


You added the - (and you should not).   I know it was just an editorial comment on your part - but as quoted - it appears to be a Don instruction. Which it wasn't.

I do agree with you on format - to me - any and all were available to use - just needed to use effectively. And that will vary based on the reviewer to reviewer. I thought there were some very clever format alternatives in this one.

On the visuals - I generally forgave the opening intros a lot of folks used and just moved on. I was bothered by visuals that were needed for plot points or tone and thought they were outside the spirit of the challenge.







My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 2:15pm Report to Moderator
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Finished my reviews of all the scripts.  Thankful for the short pages!  Makes for an easy review.

I think I'm on board with most people with how they're viewing the visual aspects of the challenge, and I take it in to account when scoring.  I don't DQ anyone for having the visuals but I do give higher scores that met the challenge or maybe had just a small glitch in meeting the challenge.  

People were really creative with this and I really appreciate Don making us stretch our brains!  It's been awhile since I've written and finished something, so glad to be back in the saddle again, even if my effort was a bit of a stinker.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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Zack
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 3:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don


Actually, a radio play is what I was gunning for, tho a radio play that could be filmed.  Iow, a blind person experiencing the film would get the same enjoyment as a seeing person.  

- Don


Seems pretty clear to me. What I'm looking for in these scripts is a real attempt to avoid any sort of visual storytelling. There are a few of the scripts that depend on visual storytelling, and while I won't be DQ'ing any of them, they will be marked down for not meeting the challenge.

Some really good scripts so far. Can't wait to read more.
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SAC
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 3:30pm Report to Moderator
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Most of the scripts, at least that I’ve seen, that were heavy handed on visuals weren’t among the best anyway. So far. Any scripts that were too heavy on visuals I just stopped reading the action and focused on the dialogue instead.

The cream always rises to the top anyway. In my case, not so much...


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MarkItZero
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 4:22pm Report to Moderator
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Finished. Some very cool ideas and great reads. If I had to pick favorites, for me it'd probably be Goodbye and Kittens. But there's others in the mix I liked a lot too.

Great challenge!


That rug really tied the room together.
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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Finished. Some very cool ideas and great reads. If I had to pick favorites, for me it'd probably be Goodbye and Kittens. But there's others in the mix I liked a lot too.

Great challenge!


Yeah - I thought folks really came with the A game (sadly I came with a C game). THis was enjoyable.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw

I won't be downgrading anyone for visual elements, it will be based on the story, characters and original spins as usual. There are a lot of solid entries this time around, you guys are talented bitches!  


Everyone has to make their own choices on this, but I know I could have written a better visual script than one that was simply audio, I reckon that's the case for almost every writer. The challenge was writing a non-visual script.

I think the best of the best audio scripts should only have to compete with each other.

Interested to see if you wrote one of the 'visual' scripts  


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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from JEStaats


I'll have to disagree as the challenge (to me) was purely audio. If I thought I could get away with slipping in a visual or three, it may have made my choices of storytelling different.

This is not to change anyone's interpretation in scoring but it will factor into mine.

All told, some pretty fantastic entries and everyone should feel proud. You gotta love a challenge that puts us out of our comfort zone.


Agree with this.


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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
HOWEVER I will not (and you should not) penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  


I don't plan to penalize scripts that had visual elements, but I do plan to penalize scripts that were visual, there were a few.


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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SAC
Most of the scripts, at least that I’ve seen, that were heavy handed on visuals weren’t among the best anyway.


One of my favourites was a visual script, it's a damn shame, but I don't think it would have worked any other way.


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MarkRenshaw
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Quoted from eldave1


Not exactly what Don said.

Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  


You added the - (and you should not).   I know it was just an editorial comment on your part - but as quoted - it appears to be a Don instruction. Which it wasn't.

I do agree with you on format - to me - any and all were available to use - just needed to use effectively. And that will vary based on the reviewer to reviewer. I thought there were some very clever format alternatives in this one.

On the visuals - I generally forgave the opening intros a lot of folks used and just moved on. I was bothered by visuals that were needed for plot points or tone and thought they were outside the spirit of the challenge.







Dave, that is not true. I have not edited the email from Don. Here is a copy in full without any editing.


"Hi! (With a cc to some mods),

Just want to set expectations. If you are reading this your script has been received (or you are Pia, Bert, LC or Sean),

Scripts will be posted on 4/17 Noon (eastern daylight time). LC has made it clear that if I wait 12 hours after the deadline to post the scripts I make much lesser misstakes.

Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not (and you should not) penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  Also, some used a radio script format and some used traditional screenplay format.  Both worked really well.  I hope that everyone can review and score based on the merits of the stories as they are told and not get hung up on the formatting.  

Stay tuned for another email noon Saturday (edt).  As mentioned on the outset, the expectation is that everyone will read every script and comment on the discussion board. Recognizing that sometimes life gets in the way, at least read and comment on ten.  

If you managed to slip a second script by me, please read all of the scripts."

Don's requested we do not penalise those who used visual elements and every script met the challenge as he wrote them. As far as I recall he's never made such a request from us before so he must have good reason and I intend to honour that request. Everyone else is free to follow their own conscience.

And yes, I used visual elements in mine. Originally I intended to write it purely as an audio format but thought it might put people off,  so went for traditional action blocks with implied sounds. However this isn't about me, so I will request Don remove mine from the running, this is about honouring the request of the guy who organised this OWC and runs this site for us.



For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK

Revision History (1 edits)
MarkRenshaw  -  April 19th, 2021, 5:29pm
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eldave1
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw


Dave, that is not true. I have not edited the email from Don. Here is a copy in full without any editing.


"Hi! (With a cc to some mods),

Just want to set expectations. If you are reading this your script has been received (or you are Pia, Bert, LC or Sean),

Scripts will be posted on 4/17 Noon (eastern daylight time). LC has made it clear that if I wait 12 hours after the deadline to post the scripts I make much lesser misstakes.

Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not (and you should not) penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  Also, some used a radio script format and some used traditional screenplay format.  Both worked really well.  I hope that everyone can review and score based on the merits of the stories as they are told and not get hung up on the formatting.  

Stay tuned for another email noon Saturday (edt).  As mentioned on the outset, the expectation is that everyone will read every script and comment on the discussion board. Recognizing that sometimes life gets in the way, at least read and comment on ten.  

If you managed to slip a second script by me, please read all of the scripts."

Don's requested we do not penalise those who used visual elements. As far as I recall he's never made such a request from us before so he must have good reason and I intend to honour that request. Everyone else is free to follow their own conscience.

And yes, I used visual elements in mine. Originally I intended to write it purely as an audio format but thought it might put people off,  so went for traditional action blocks with implied sounds. However this isn't about me, so I will request Don remove mine from the running, this is about honouring the request of the guy who organised this OWC and runs this site for us.



My apologies, Mark - I figured this out. This is what I got in my PM

Hi! (With a cc to some mods),

Just want to set expectations. If you are reading this your script has been received (or you are Pia, Bert, LC or Sean),

Scripts will be posted on 4/17 Noon (eastern daylight time). LC has made it clear that if I wait 12 hours after the deadline to post the scripts I make lesser misstakes.

Despite the confusion over my "Bullet-Proof Perfect Challenge Theme" every script received met the challenge as I wrote it (badly). Some scripts did a little better job being entirely non-visual, HOWEVER I will not penalize those scripts that had visual elements.  Also, some used a radio script format and some used traditional screenplay format.  Both worked really well.  I hope that everyone can review and score based on the merits of the stories as they are told and not get hung up on the formatting.  

Stay tuned for another email noon Saturday (edt).  As mentioned on the outset, the expectation is that everyone will read every script and comment on the discussion board. Recognizing that sometimes life gets in the way, at least read and comment on ten.  

If you managed to slip a second script by me, please read all of the scripts.

Thanks for taking the challenge. You all managed to take a botched execution and turn it into the one of the best challenges ever imho.

Best,

Don


No mention of (and you should not).

So, I checked my regular email. I did get the one you referenced - with the (and you should not).

So - I am DQ-ing Don Seems like the right thing to do


Quoted Text
Don's requested we do not penalise those who used visual elements. As far as I recall he's never made such a request from us before so he must have good reason and I intend to honour that request. Everyone else is free to follow their own conscience.

And yes, I used visual elements in mine. Originally I intended to write it purely as an audio format but thought it might put people off,  so went for traditional action blocks with implied sounds. However this isn't about me, so I will request Don remove mine from the running, this is about honouring the request of the guy who organised this OWC and runs this site for us.


No need to abandon ship, mate - you make a good point. I don't agree with it - but it certainly has merit.   I can say this - I am pretty sure that it won't effect the final outcome one way or another (well, at least for me) - the ones I rated highest were fine visual wise and nothing was out there that would have moved ahead of them - included visuals or not.  



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:29pm Report to Moderator
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Voted!

I think this is going to come down to 3 scripts for the writer's choice. I personal think 1 stood out about the rest, I'm hoping that takes the top spot.

Looking forward to what Don has in store for us next.


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eldave1
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Quoted from Warren
Voted!

I think this is going to come down to 3 scripts for the writer's choice. I personal think 1 stood out about the rest, I'm hoping that takes the top spot.

Looking forward to what Don has in store for us next.


There were two for me that stood out above the rest - rooting for them


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Claudio
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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Voted~

Lots of good scripts! One of the strongest OWCs I've seen (and I've read through a bunch of old ones ).

It's really interesting seeing other members comment and react to entries. I can sorta tell who's wired for audio vs visual elements.
This was a great exercise that taught me a lot.

Thanks everybody~



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Gum
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:03pm Report to Moderator
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Oh man, I get so caught up reading and posting, that I keep forgetting there’s an inbox that might have important updates, or new information. No harm, I’ve not voted yet and will just take into consideration all scripts based on the new info I received, and entertainment value; did it make me laugh, cry, creep me out, think etc. The audio aspect is important of course, but if it looks and sounds like a screenplay within the parameters… then it’s all good on my end.

Few more to read on my end though...
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Don
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:05pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from eldave1


So - I am DQ-ing Don  Seems like the right thing to do


I agree and apologize for the mistake.  I am pretty sure that each person will fairly judge each script according to his/her criteria.  I don't think there is any reason that any script should be disqualified.  If you feel that a script has too many visual elements then score accordingly.  It's all good.

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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PKCardinal
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw


I will request Don remove mine from the running, this is about honouring the request of the guy who organised this OWC and runs this site for us.



Please don't.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:13pm Report to Moderator
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My votes are in.

One standout. Many just below.

Good job, everyone. I'm very impressed.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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LC
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:16pm Report to Moderator
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Mark, don't remove your script.


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eldave1
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Quoted from Don


I agree and apologize for the mistake.  I am pretty sure that each person will fairly judge each script according to his/her criteria.  I don't think there is any reason that any script should be disqualified.  If you feel that a script has too many visual elements then score accordingly.  It's all good.

Don


Damn! I was so looking forward to DQ ing you

Good news - this really turned out to be an enjoyable challenge!!!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:24pm Report to Moderator
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Voted, neat challenge, some very nice entries, and one standout for me... when do we get details on the next challenge


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:25pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Mark, don't remove your script.


Agreed, as with all these challenges the best does rise to the top, even if that is a visual script for this one, the people will have spoken and that is that.


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JEStaats
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 6:50pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Damn. Voting was more difficult than I thought it would be. Done and done.
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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:08pm Report to Moderator
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Semi tossing up the idea of producing mine myself after this, could be a fun exercise.

Does anyone know of any programs that make the voice bumpy things (no idea what the term is)like in Calls?

Sorry for the shitty image...

Screenshot-20210420-110524-Chrome


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Gary in Houston
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Quoted from Warren
Semi tossing up the idea of producing mine myself after this, could be a fun exercise.

Does anyone know of any programs that make the voice bumpy things (no idea what the term is)like in Calls?

Sorry for the shitty image...

Screenshot-20210420-110524-Chrome


I literally just finished the first episode of that show.  That episode actually held my attention for the entire 13 minutes, which for someone like me with a strong case of ADD, is a pretty strong endorsement.  But regarding your question, check out this link:

https://midnightmusic.com.au/2018/12/how-to-make-your-own-soundwave-art/

This isn't exactly what you're looking for, I know, but the person that wrote that article is Australian and perhaps you can reach out to her and find out the answer to your question. Her info is at the bottom of the page, I think.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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LC
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:37pm Report to Moderator
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Abstract Visualiser, I think they're called, Warren.

https://www.shutterstock.com/v.....llustration-backdrop

I remember Hubby had a program like this years ago which would fill the screen when music was played.

If you like mine, can you make it as well?   Not kidding. I'll pay for whatever.
Looking forward to seeing which one is yours.

P.S. Will check out Gary's link too.
P.P.S I'll co-produce with you on both if you want?


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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:40pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston


I literally just finished the first episode of that show.  That episode actually held my attention for the entire 13 minutes, which for someone like me with a strong case of ADD, is a pretty strong endorsement.  But regarding your question, check out this link:

https://midnightmusic.com.au/2018/12/how-to-make-your-own-soundwave-art/

This isn't exactly what you're looking for, I know, but the person that wrote that article is Australian and perhaps you can reach out to her and find out the answer to your question. Her info is at the bottom of the page, I think.


Thanks, Gary, appreciate the link.

Voice bumpy things, otherwise know as sound waves, I'm an idiot.


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Warren
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Abstract Visualiser, I think they're called, Warren.

https://www.shutterstock.com/v.....llustration-backdrop

I remember Hubby had a program like this years ago which would fill the screen when music was played.

If you like mine, can you make it as well?   Not kidding. I'll pay for whatever.
Looking forward to seeing which one is yours.

P.S. Will check out Gary's link too.
P.P.S I'll co-produce with you on both if you want?


Thanks, Libby that's exactly what I'm looking for. I've found a whole heap of programs. I will take a look at all of them and see which fits my needs best.

Thanks for the confidence, but I'll be swimming in the shallow end for sure. I do have an acting friend that I'm sure would help me with the bulk of the dialogue requirements and I know you can purchase SFX online. I also have a really good composing contact that could add a bit of a score if required.

So I think I have all the moving parts, just need to throw them together and see if it turns into anything.

More than happy to help, or share my experiences if/when I dive into it



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khamanna
Posted: April 19th, 2021, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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I�m still reading. When is the cut off for the voting ballot?
I have about 7 left I think.
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Warren
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Quoted from khamanna
I’m still reading. When is the cut off for the voting ballot?


I think Don said he was hoping for Saturday, but he was flexible.


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LC
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Quoted from Warren


Thanks, Libby that's exactly what I'm looking for. I've found a whole heap of programs. I will take a look at all of them and see which fits my needs best.

Thanks for the confidence, but I'll be swimming in the shallow end for sure. I do have an acting friend that I'm sure would help me with the bulk of the dialogue requirements and I know you can purchase SFX online. I also have a really good composing contact that could add a bit of a score if required.

So I think I have all the moving parts, just need to throw them together and see if it turns into anything.

More than happy to help, or share my experiences if/when I dive into it


Cool. Keep me informed and let me know.
Got some good actor/actor/voice over friends too, mainly male, if you need any extra.


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khamanna
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Quoted from Warren


I think Don said he was hoping for Saturday, but he was flexible.


Oh ok, thanks. I somehow read it completely differently at first - I decided that Don doesn't want us to leave it to Saturday and says "don't leave it to Friday/Saturday". Now I see
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jayrex
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 2:55am Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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Just submitted my vote.


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MarkRenshaw
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Just voted. Two, in particular, stood out for me, although I think I know which one is going to win. There are a lot of decent ones though and I didn't DQ any but my own.

I have kept mine in the running just to be a sport and all that and I'm sorry that we ended up in a bit of a debate over visuals, but I think it was all amicable in the end.  


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:59am Report to Moderator
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I missed the debate.

It says very clear it's a talk with no visuals, so now I'm a bit confused about voting. A lot of these do have visuals and some with visuals I really like.
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MarkRenshaw
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I'm keeping quiet. Vote how you would normally vote, as has been pointed out the best ones always float to the top whether they meet the exact criteria or not.


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 7:25am Report to Moderator
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Vote however you feel about the scripts Kham


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Zack
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 11:45am Report to Moderator
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Alright, I've finally got a free day. Gonna try to bust a bunch of these out now.
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Geezis
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 12:04pm Report to Moderator
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Voted. As someone previously said it was tougher than I thought it would be scoring everyone's entry. I have my favourite (Not mine you suspicious lot), but a lot were a close second.


If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
Just voted. Two, in particular, stood out for me, although I think I know which one is going to win. There are a lot of decent ones though and I didn't DQ any but my own.

I have kept mine in the running just to be a sport and all that and I'm sorry that we ended up in a bit of a debate over visuals, but I think it was all amicable in the end.  


Glad you stayed in, mate. Will be interesting if we have the same two - I thought two stood out. And yes - it was all amicable.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Claudio
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Quoted from eldave1


Yes but every line would have been....


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Claudio


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


LOVE THE EFFORT!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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ReneC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 4:33pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Claudio


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


Hahaha...nicely played, and a good chuckle.


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MarkRenshaw
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Claudio


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


I just voted that the winner!



For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:17pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from MarkRenshaw
but I think it was all amicable in the end.  


A bit of a change from the norm, I think this has been the calmest, drama-free challenge in a while. I'm a fan.



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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:19pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Claudio


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


Ha, nice one. I was seriously contemplating a Morse code story in the beginning, just couldn't make it work.


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PKCardinal
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That was hilarious.

My only critique is that it should be titled: "Boat On Fire."


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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eldave1
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Quoted from Warren


A bit of a change from the norm, I think this has been the calmest, drama-free challenge in a while. I'm a fan.



Concur.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Gum
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:28pm Report to Moderator
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Lol, took me a few reads to understand what was going on.

Reminded me of this urban legend:

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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Haha! Very funny, Rick.


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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Gum
Lol, took me a few reads to understand what was going on.

Reminded me of this urban legend:

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


An oldie but a goodie.


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Zack
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gum
Lol, took me a few reads to understand what was going on.

Reminded me of this urban legend:

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


Funny stuff!  
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Zack
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:18pm Report to Moderator
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Done and voted. Lot of good scripts this time. This has been a fun challenge.

So... When can we start guessing?
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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Zack
Done and voted. Lot of good scripts this time. This has been a fun challenge.

So... When can we start guessing?


From Don:


Quoted Text
Additional info & timeline:

Wed 4/21/21 - Start guessing no spoilers


So it is Wednesday the 4th in Australia, but I'm sure he means tomorrow.



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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
So it is Wednesday the 4th in Australia, but I'm sure he means tomorrow.


Yep. Warren, no cheating from those of us who live in the future.  


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
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There's a script in there somewhere, Aussie time jumpers who can only jump ahead as far as the timezone allows...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:35pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC


Yep. Warren, no cheating from those of us who live in the future.  




Really good turnout on the reads as well and there are still 4 days to go.


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Zack
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Quoted from Warren


From Don:



So it is Wednesday the 4th in Australia, but I'm sure he means tomorrow.



Thanks. Not sure how I missed that. I'll bite my tongue for a few more hours.  
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Zack
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Quoted from Warren




Really good turnout on the reads as well and there are still 4 days to go.


I'd say that's due to the shorter page length of the challenge. I like these short ones.
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Claudio
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:38pm Report to Moderator
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Haha thanks y'all just a silly one.


Quoted from Gum
...Your call.


LOL, amazing.


In terms of guessing, I'm totally lost.
Something about losing the visuals makes it harder, plus formatting was generally different.
Threw me off the scent lol. Curious to see the other guesses~



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Craig Macken
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:41pm Report to Moderator
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Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.
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ReneC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gum
Lol, took me a few reads to understand what was going on.

Reminded me of this urban legend:

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


I remember the commercial that was made:

Watch it here.


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ReneC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing wasn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


Good on you, mate. Just remember it's all in the spirit of helping each other get better at this writing thing, and in the end you wrote something and that's what counts.


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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zack


I'd say that's due to the shorter page length of the challenge. I like these short ones.


Yeah for sure, I'm a big fan of these types of challenges.


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Gum
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 6:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ReneC
I remember the commercial that was made:


Haha, hilarious! Didn’t even know that existed. Yeah, I think I heard that Urban Legend about 25 or so years ago… other variants too, different countries’ naval fleets vs a lighthouse, and it always catches people out, lol.

On another note. Literally, not even a clue who wrote what this time around… your secret's safe for now, at least with me it is.
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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


Congrats, Craig - way to get your feet wet.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


It was a tough first challenge, congrats on getting an entry in.

I'm not sure it ever really gets easier putting your writing out there for others to criticize. It generally goes one of two ways, your skin gets thicker and your writing improves, or (in some cases) you end up leaving the site because it's all too much.

The hanging around and getting better is always the the way to go.

Looking forward to seeing which one is yours.


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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 7:29pm Report to Moderator
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Good on you, Craig!

I had Don pull my first OWC entry. And it wasn't that bad. I just wasn't used to the slings and arrows.

P.S. SS can never have too many Aussies.  
P.P.S And yep, what Warren just said.


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khamanna
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


I remember my first entry here wasn't bad. But then it got worse and worse. And then I wrote something chewable. Then again, bad and bad and worse. And ok...

Where am I heading with this? Nowhere.

Congrats on your first) I don't think you will be dq'ed or anything. They don't dq for much more than any of these entry had. Not even for going over the page count which is an easy dq.
And good luck)
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Don
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:29pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


Craig,

Welcome!  The fact that your script was posted is an indication that it was quite qualified (in my mind).

- Don



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Don
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:32pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

Location
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Quoted from Claudio


My attempt at a mostly morse code story. I cheated a lot... to make it more understandable and also I'm lazy  

"MORE CODE"

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---
(beat)

COAST GUARD
---/.../---?

BOAT ON FIRE
---/.../---!!!
(long beat)

COAST GUARD
.../---/…!?
(long beat)

BOAT ON FIRE
.../---/…

COAST GUARD
Well why didn’t you say so.

END


This is hysterical.  My brother, a retired Marine aerial navigator, claimed that every operator had a distinct way of sending Morse code...

- Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Don
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:34pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from Zack

So... When can we start guessing?


Now - https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1618967903/

We're using Australian Rules*



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  April 20th, 2021, 8:34pm
*There are no "Australian Rules"  I just made that up.
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Don
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:36pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from khamanna
I�m still reading. When is the cut off for the voting ballot?
I have about 7 left I think.


Whenever you are done voting, Khamanna.

- Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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Hang on, has everyone voted?  I'll vote now...

Just saw the Aussie Rules thread.


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khamanna
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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Voted!
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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 8:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Hang on, has everyone voted?  I'll vote now...

Just saw the Aussie Rules thread.


Yip.


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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 9:22pm Report to Moderator
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Okay.  I thought reading, reviewing and voting was still going on.

Voted.


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Warren
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 9:27pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from LC
Okay.  I thought reading, reviewing and voting was still going on.

Voted.


It is, but people that have read all and voted can guess


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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2021, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Warren. Obviously me being a bit dim.
Got me to vote fast.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 3:21am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


Well done for putting yourself out there - the first time opening yourself up to critique is bloody daunting (My first OWC I thought I wrote pure gold... I was soon brought back down to earth)

And also a thank you for getting stuck in with the reviews, a lot of people entering for the first time don't bother reviewing other entries but challenges like this rely on writers to receive and to give.

Best of luck with your entry


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Craig Macken
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 9:22pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks mate!
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ReneC
Posted: April 21st, 2021, 10:09pm Report to Moderator
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I have three left to read, and so far I'm really surprised no one thought to use a narrator. Some of the more visual entries could have easily achieved what they wanted with voice narration, and others could have used it to get inside the heads of the characters or outside of the immediate conversations. I expected to run into a few, so yeah, I'm surprised.


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PKCardinal
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Craig Macken
Well, it's done... my votes are in.

For the first time ever, I've put something I've written out there for others to see and criticize...

Arrrrrrrgh!!!! and now it looks like I'm gunna be DQ'd or marked down for violating a rule that wasn't even there when I posted it.

I couldn't care less!!! The challenge here for me was to overcome my fear of embarrassment/humiliation/rejection because my writing isn't up to scratch.

So thank you everyone, for your encouraging comments. I really, really, really appreciate it.


Congratulations!

Everyone here knows how difficult that first one is. I wanted to vomit getting my first feedback, and it was mostly positive. The first time I got really pushed back with negative feedback hurt like the dickens.

But, if you push through, take the notes and really consider them (you won't and shouldn't use all), your writing will improve lightning fast.

And, the feedback becomes easier and easier to accept. In time, it doesn't hurt at all.

It's actually a very fun process if you embrace it. Which, you seem to have.

Kudos to you all around. Can't wait to see what you wrote. And, can't wait to see what you write next.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 6:19pm Report to Moderator
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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R


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LC
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 6:33pm Report to Moderator
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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R

Big thanks, A & R!!
OWCs rely on participation and energy and enthusiasm, and for you guys to put so much in with no horse in the race (or at least no tomatoes in the ground)   your input is very much appreciated.

P.S. Thanks to others who did the same, even if on a bit smaller scale.


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Zack
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 6:48pm Report to Moderator
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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R


Thanks for reading!
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Warren
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 6:53pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R


Much appreciated.


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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 7:05pm Report to Moderator
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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R


But the question still remains:  Do you like pineapple on your pizza?




Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 8:50pm Report to Moderator
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main-qimg-c4b30ed430f1bf1aa59dc9eb17899e6d

What can I say. Gary. It's just that simple. I love the balance of sweet and salty. -A


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ReneC
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 9:00pm Report to Moderator
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main-qimg-c4b30ed430f1bf1aa59dc9eb17899e6d

What can I say. Gary. It's just that simple. I love the balance of sweet and salty. -A


Why are you posting porn?  


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SAC
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 9:07pm Report to Moderator
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Votes are in. For me, two were clearly at the top -- one slightly better than the other, IMO. And one more that was close, but I chose to round down.

Anyway, fun challenge. Don, you did a good one, and it's really good to see the boards alive. Not without it's bumps, though, but that goes with the territory.

Pineapple and ham on pizza? Sure, why not? I don't even know when this debate about pineapple on pizza became a thing. I guess it was when someone decided to throw pineapple on a pizza. I'm from Long Island originally, so I know what pizza should taste like (bit of a pizza snob that way). Not like this upstate NY crap. My test is this -- if you go into a pizzeria and can also order a roast beef sandwich, stay away.


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khamanna
Posted: April 22nd, 2021, 9:46pm Report to Moderator
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OK,

All done. It's been fun.  As usual, tons of talent on display. Don't think there was a bad one in the bunch. 50 percent of something is better than 100 percent of nothing. That's how we see it. And we had nothing in this bunch.  As Clint Eastwood once said as Dirty Harry, "A man's got to know his limitations."

No votes forthcoming. Congrats to all those who entered. Job well done. Great challenge Don. A&R


Oh wow, thanks.
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