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Brilliant. Absolutely first rate with me. A great twist and well-written to boot. Well-done.
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
Very good take on all the myriad "got to get to the expectant mother to the hospital" TV episodes. And more fun, because all those other shows pretty much look the same.
Opening action block and I'm wondering if you wrote this with a thesaurus on your lap. Or maybe that's common parlance on your side of the Pond?
Was going to comment on how stilted and on-the-nose the dialog read, but having seen the twist this is exactly how expectant parents rehearse things That makes the logline a bit misleading, though.
Fantastically unnecessary risk by the parents. This kid is screwed.
"Dangerously weaving through other traffic and ignoring red lights, the car screeches to a stop outside the emergency department." With a pregnant woman in the back seat.....as a test run! That's nuts and only really works as a comedy sketch but points for thinking outside the box for sure!
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Logic of the situation aside, I can't deny I liked the twist. I thought he’d die or was already dead or some such horror to come but it was a surprise. Elements of thriller in the set-up but overall I’m not sure it’s a fit for the challenge. Feels more light-hearted. One to come back to though.
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Excellent, IMO anyway. I thought you would go dark here, I also thought the twist would be another dead guy talking on the phone thing. But neither happened, still I was with it all the way with an unexpected reveal... Good job!