Feeling Guilty by Richard Gecko - An exhausted man feels guilty about taking a break from a large-scale search.  Short, Horror

Don’t really think you need to open over black here – no reason not to get right to it.

I’d lose the camera directions (CLOSE ON – ANGLE ON)

This:

Quoted Text The dark and dingy basement is surrounded by stone walls. The only light source comes from a dim ceiling bulb.

Needed to go up front when we first see the basement

Not in love with the ending here – no twisty

Hi writer,

God-damn that was dark!

Well written, a few things I would do differently but all personal preference really.

Enjoyed it for what it was, will be a hard sell for some but I think you went into this knowing that.

All the best.

No need for camera directions but otherwise very well done.

Jesus Christ, lol. Well, that was very dark. I gravitate towards this type of material. But, this may have been a little too much. Specifically showing a grown adult standing naked over a 12-year old boy. I'm not one to hold back dark imagery in writing, but for actors, this may turn some folks off.

The writing and the twist were very well done, though I think it could've used more twist. I felt like taking a shower after this one. Nevertheless, it was very well written lol. I'm sure it will be a little controversial to some.

-- Michael

This almost reads like one of the family abduction stories always in the news, so this is a topical story, and pretty well done. The only thing I might want to look at again is Michael's over-the-top glee at maybe getting extra time "to have some more fun."

Horrifying to say the least.

The writing was very good on this, but the twist happens so early that it really just seems like a short of a man torturing a little boy. I would have liked for some more of the man having the conversation with woman to maybe lead me in another direction or even give an indication of who he pretends to be (or is most of the time) before getting to the awfulness. The lead in is so short it doesn't really come as a surprise.

But, the idea behind it will definitely stick with me, probably more than any of the other scripts I read. Truly disturbing, since there is no moral compass at all in the film except the man's.

This is not for me.

The writing was fine but I needed Michael to lose in the end.

I would have preferred the reveal come a bit later but other than that this was really good, but also fecking horrible at the same time.

I'd probably have made the victim even younger too.

Oh and contrary to what Michael said, I'd argue this is something actors (well, some anyway) would love. I haven't acted in years but I'd play that in a heartbeat. The juxtaposition between him appearing to be a good guy, and then the reveal of how bad a person he is is great.

Really good work, my favourite yet.

Quoted from Pleb I would have preferred the reveal come a bit later but other than that this was really good, but also fecking horrible at the same time. I'd probably have made the victim even younger too. Oh and contrary to what Michael said, I'd argue this is something actors (well, some anyway) would love. I haven't acted in years but I'd play that in a heartbeat. The juxtaposition between him appearing to be a good guy, and then the reveal of how bad a person he is is great. Really good work, my favourite yet.

There's no way they're going to show some dude with his dick hanging out standing over a 12-year old kid. Maybe the director can find a way to cheat that shot in some way, maybe a shot of the killer naked from behind and the child in the background. It sounds illegal to have that on set. And even if it were allowed, would you, as an actor, REALLY want to have a nude scene with a 12-year-old child? I dunno, maybe it's just me. But I had a short script that got dropped because they couldn't find any actors that wanted to be in a scene naked, having sex with a soda machine (it was a weird script lol).

Quoted from spesh2k There's no way they're going to show some dude with his dick hanging out standing over a 12-year old kid. Maybe the director can find a way to cheat that shot in some way, maybe a shot of the killer naked from behind and the child in the background. It sounds illegal to have that on set. And even if it were allowed, would you, as an actor, REALLY want to have a nude scene with a 12-year-old child? I dunno, maybe it's just me. But I had a short script that got dropped because they couldn't find any actors that wanted to be in a scene naked, having sex with a soda machine (it was a weird script lol).

For sure I'd do it. And cheating it a bit wouldn't be that hard at all. Still, I think it could be just as impactful if the guy was wearing unbuckled jeans if it was too big an issue. I had a short of mine made a couple of weeks ago that was meant to have brief nudity in but the actor bottled it just before the shoot so they had to cut that scene, so I'm happy to concede you're right that some would actors take issue with it.

Quoted from Pleb For sure I'd do it. And cheating it a bit wouldn't be that hard at all. Still, I think it could be just as impactful if the guy was wearing unbuckled jeans if it was too big an issue. I had a short of mine made a couple of weeks ago that was meant to have brief nudity in but the actor bottled it just before the shoot so they had to cut that scene, so I'm happy to concede you're right that some would actors take issue with it.

Both my features have quite a bit of nudity (specifically the most recent one). And some of my close actor friends have had nude scenes, sex scenes and had no issue with it. But it's sex scenes between adults. I'm not sure if a parent would allow their 12-year old son to shoot a nude scene with another man. Though, if you've seen "Bruno", I might be underestimating parents a bit lol. And I guess at public pools in the locker rooms, there's a lot of nudity anyways no matter what age people are. But still, I dunno how it is with film when it comes to kids being in nude scenes with adults, even if the kids themselves are clothed.

Nicely written, twist halfway through instead of the end but too dark for my tastes. It would have been nice for the boy to have something nasty in store for the sick fuck.

Well written but no twist or sting in the tail for me, just a reveal.
Well done.

Has a sort of Murder Set Piece grubbiness that worked for me, though some will find it too dark.

I think the twist is clear from the start, but it's still there, so no issues with that either.

Good effort.