What? It’s a quick story with a twist, but not sure I understand why the guy he was camping with decided to kidnap and shoot him.  Why not just kill Ryan while they’re camping together? I’m overthinking it I know. Writing is solid though.

Well, there was a twist alright, just no story to go with it.

The reveal at the end qualifies as a twist, but we have no idea what the conflict was or how it got to this point. The only slightly sympathetic character ends up as a stain on the wall. I'm not sure the backstory could fit into the remaining space, but the remaining space is just sitting there unused.

The script is missing the FADE IN: and FADE OUT., but unlike most cases it doesn't appear to be a cheat for space. The writing was clear in that I could easily picture what was happening with no re-reading. I just don't know why any of it happened. It'd make an excellent cold opening for a thriller, but in it's current for it's not a story.

Good effort!

A twist for sure but lacks the who, what, where or why to engage an audience.

Good concept. It would pack more punch if we knew something beforehand about Josh.

Not nearly enough info to care.

What's there is good, but, we need so much more for there to be any impact -- something to help us understand the depth of the betrayal. Basically, the why. You had space remaining, I wish you would have used it.

Not enough of a story to take anything from or really a setup to payoff.  There’s a shock of sorts but not much by way of surprise or reasoning to events.  I guess Josh had his reasons, what they are we’ll never know.