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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    The May 2021 Challenge  ›  Who Killed The Cat - May
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  Author    Who Killed The Cat - May  (currently 600 views)
Geezis
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 2:32pm Report to Moderator
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There's always a single malt waiting for you.

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Nicely done. Hard to imagine someone killing someone over the death of a cat but that's incidental to the decency of the story.
Very well done.


If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 5:21pm Report to Moderator
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Funny, but its a CAT!

At least make it a dog so that it's believable

May be just me but got a sort of Adams Family vibe from it.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Gary in Houston
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
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Utterly creepy and fun and over the top and a great twist at the end. Great job there.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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SAC
Posted: May 12th, 2021, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Writer,

Pretty good one. Nice twist, descriptive, visual. Check. Only thing is I don't think it was creepy enough. That part could have been amped up. Otherwise, solid.

Steve


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Gum
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:41am Report to Moderator
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… and the cat came back, the very next daaaay! Always loved that little vignette, or litter vignette. Anyway, yeah, this was quick and to the punch, gut punch with poison that is. That must be one special cat, or cats if I’m reading that right, to warrant the retribution of death. I think in Egypt, back in the day, they had a death penalty for harming a cat, as they were seen as royalty, or God-like creatures. Me… I think they’re no more than a domesticated rat, but I better not say that out loud, cause that just might warrant death from cat lovers. Anyway, fun entry, works well for a 2-page snippet; a few questions unanswered, but meh… Best of luck.
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ReneC
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 11:40am Report to Moderator
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They were so focused on each other that the reveal of the fact they even have a son works for the twist. It starts at an absurd level where the death of a cat is ground for justifiable homicide, and the absurdity ramps up with the reveal.

I wasn't a fan of no reaction from the boy. Not even a shoulder shrug, or maybe disappointment that he wasn't the one to kill them.

As a one-and-done it's not bad. It's like if the Addams Family immediately succeeded in killing one another, end of story.


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MarkItZero
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 12:55pm Report to Moderator
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A nice twisted little tale. This might screw up the ending, but could consider bringing the kid into it earlier? He's at the dinner table with them, the picture of innocence. Just a thought.


That rug really tied the room together.
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stevemiles
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 3:51pm Report to Moderator
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Simple and effective with a darkly comic twist.  Could be one to come back to with a little more meat on the bone for setting up the family dynamic a little more.  Nicely handled for the challenge.


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
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Claudio
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
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Cute, funny, and morbid!? I need to take driving lessons from this writer, because I admire how they navigated those traffic cones.

This reminded me a little bit of Courage the Cowardly Dog, for some reason. I'm glad that it didn't just end with the old poison switcheroo. So many "nice touches" here, excellent work.

One of my top 5, awesome stuff~



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Bort
Posted: May 13th, 2021, 9:35pm Report to Moderator
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This is reads like a black comedy horror because of how absurd it is.

Solid entry, one of my faves. Good job writer.
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Cacutshaw


It might be just me though, but I wish it was something other than the cliche of a couple finding out they poisoned each other as the murder. Maybe something a bit more psychotic for these obviously demented human beings.


Busted.

This is a great note. I'll look for another way.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkItZero
A nice twisted little tale. This might screw up the ending, but could consider bringing the kid into it earlier? He's at the dinner table with them, the picture of innocence. Just a thought.


Excellent thought. I'll take a look.

Thanks!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: May 14th, 2021, 1:56pm Report to Moderator
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FYI, it was one cat. Each considered it "theirs."

Also, I figured anybody psycho enough to kill someone over a cat is psycho enough to marry somebody who would kill someone over a cat. And, if two psychos married each other, surely they'd have a psycho child. AND, they'd be proud of their psycho child. It kind of wrote itself.

As for the child having no reaction at the end... that was a conscious choice. This child has no feelings for anyone or anything. But, I could definitely see the argument for him looking at his dead parents and saying, "Awww. I wanted to do that."


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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