So it really is, as predicted, the Origin of Widow's Peak. It's the opposite of the second round: this one works better as a stand-alone story than as an installment.

As a stand-alone story, it's a cycle-of-abuse tale. As an installment, it looks like an attempt to empathize with a character the audience has already decided is emphatically not empathizable.

That said, a lot of the tension comes from fore-knowledge gleened in the first two installments. So it's technically written very well... I just don't think the story needs this bit when and if you decide to rework these into a post-challenge script.

Nice (?!) job!

Lesson learned - stay away from skinny men with cheesy little mustaches and widow's peaks.

Well done. I'm so over reading about child molesters though.

This is another case where the format both helped and hindered. Going into it blind, it's effective, since you set it up to make the audience think the boy was reliving what brought him to the police station. But since we know the meta of this challenge, the ending is what I was expecting all along, the abused growing up to become the abuser.

But that chocolate is a nice twist of the knife. I also like Libby's suggestion, it twists that knife even further.

The writing is quite good, whoever you are ( ) and it works as a standalone piece. Well done.

Well written. Creepy in a slow burn kind of way and I appreciate the more understated approach of this one.  As part of the trilogy it makes sense as the pattern of abuse comes full circle and we have the benefit of knowing what’s coming next.  As a standalone it strays into well trodden ground and I don’t know it’s bringing anything new to the table.  There’s the benefit of it being fairly easy to film which is a bonus.

Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to read and review my script. I had a lot of fun linking all three of my challenge round scripts together for one big story. Sorry for bending the rules by essentially "outing" myself. In hindsight, I should have chose a less disturbing subject matter as the basis of my story. Lol

Also, I'd like to give a big thanks to my co-story writer for this round, Mr. Pete Bottoms. Also know as Sean Chipman.

Quoted from eldave1 The character is THIN MAN � not MAN

The man speaking is actually Rick. Meant to trick you into thinking it was the Thin Man. Evidently, I was successful.

Quoted from eldave1 The widow's peak just ended up confusing me - our initial assaulter has one and at the end, Michael has one. So - was Michael the first boy molested and the would-be molester at the end? OR - do molesters just have widow-peaks??? I didn't get the point of that.

The Thin Man having a slight widow's peak is meant to be misdirection(maybe it's Michael!). Definitely didn't mean to imply that all pedophiles have widow's peaks. Lol. It's just a coincidence that Michael ended up with one when he grew older.

Quoted from Spqr A nitpicky question: why is the "scrawny boy" not given a name until the last scene in the police station, while the boy who will be Michael's victim is immediately named?

Misdirection. What I was trying to do was make you think that the Thin Man was Michael. The reason Nathan and James are named is that they are both returning characters from my round 2 script, so I wanted to make sure readers caught the reference. I think this is one of those scripts that would work much better visually than it does in script form.

Quoted from mmmarnie Great job tying all 3 rounds together, whoever you are. LOL. They were all disturbing for sure, but some of the writing and effects throughout all 3 rounds were very good. I'd rather visualize something not so disturbing next time.  But you are an excellent storyteller and you have a good director's sense as well. GET FINAL DRAFT!!   xo

Thank you very much for the kind words, Marnie. Means a lot.

And I'll try to get Final Draft soon! lol

The chocolate bar. Even if I do say so myself... It's unanimous.

I think even Mr Bottoms would agree.  
What do you think?

Quoted from LC The chocolate bar. Even if I do say so myself... It's unanimous. I think even Mr Bottoms would agree.   What do you think?

Agree 100% about the chocolate bar suggestion. Good stuff. I'll definitely add that bit.

Quoted from LC I think even Mr Bottoms would agree.   What do you think?

Mr. Bottoms has no issue with that particular alteration.

He does, however, wish Sex Machine has tried out some of the changes he'd suggested in part 2... =)

I'm sensing a part 4.
Or maybe a feature-length version...

Quoted from LC I'm sensing a part 4. Or maybe a feature-length version...

Doubt it. I do think there is potential for more chapters to this story, but I don't think there's a very big audience for something like this. If anything, I may try to combine all scripts into one longer short. Would likely change the subway station in part 2 to a more budget-friendly location. I don't know. Got a lot to think about.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde He does, however, wish Sex Machine has tried out some of the changes he'd suggested in part 2... =)

Mr. Bottoms isn't sharing the whole story.