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Hollywood is Dead by Those Dirty Little Rabbits - Misfortunate times for a rebellious fool when he competes for a running title amongst the Hollywood Crème de la crème, only to find himself walking along the boulevard of broken dreams… and bones. Short, Dramedy
On the grimy pavement, a man, WINSLOW (20), is upon his knees, he begs for mercy as he holds his broken hand
“Upon his knees – or – on his knees.
Really should be a period after knee and “he” should start a new sentence.
Quoted Text
That’s not and innuendo.
An – not and
Okay – I got lost – big time. I am very confused. Some of it was due to no time references - an indication here or there in terms of where we were time-wise would have helped. Second, I don't remember all the movie references.
The actual writing here is very good. Descriptions and dialogues are solid, IMO. But you take a risk i(confusion wise) n shorts like this with references that may not be readily understood. I'm still not sure I understand this otherwise well written story.
I think I see the timeline in there, but for me, the back-and-forth time jumps only serve to confuse. There isn't a reason for them except to meet the requirements. The cold open is certainly effective, and it might have worked better if everything was a flashback but in chronological order from there.
The dialogue got quite campy at times, but the whole thing gets campy so it kind of fits. It just feels like the tone of this should have been different, it starts quite dark and cold and turns into pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows, and then back again.
Weird one. Doesn't quite work for me, but it could with some tweaks.
That read was zany, and had that oddball quality to it. I want to say... If sanity levels could something be upped slightly, I think the zany characters would benefit. As things stand it's not just them that's zany, it's the situation as well. In among all the weirdness that's happening. But I can't, they seem to fit in the world you’ve built.
I’m sure there’s a method to this madness. I tried, but I'm just not sure. Best of Irish luck!-A
This was F*ing bonkers and i loved it. Some really hilarious stuff man, I was hoping for a montage! you spelled it out and didn't deliver, misdirection? lol. Great job!
That was messed up. The worst part was is that I kinda liked it. I got the gist of it but I'm still pretty much lost. My only issue was that he was listening to Maniac on the Vegamatic? That was a blender, wasn't it?
Oh yeah...a dude's tug-palace. Classic. It says it all.
Michael Douglas, lol. I always saw him as an Alpha Male, a Man’s Man if you will, or perhaps even a mentor. To imagine him unhinged and running amok in and around Hollywood is a fun visual, but I guess you could go with any and all ‘A’ list actors who are no longer employed, well… not like the good ol’ days of silver screen icons and throw them in a precariously silly situation for that alternate-verse, clown world entertainment value that’s so sought after nowadays.
Him losing his shit and trying to find purpose, adapting, and falling prey to dementia, or Alzheimer’s and losing site of reality by becoming a character he once created would be sad and humorous at the same time. I don’t really want to, but I could just imagine him falling into the perpetual mindset of a character so unstable such as William "D-Fens" Foster (one of his most iconic characters), forever out of touch with reality, that his sole purpose in life becomes terrorizing the backstreets of Hollywood, rifling through other ‘A’ list actors’ garbage, eating from their gardens, etc.
And of course, there’s the marathon, which is just another prime example of a select few members of society that are so out of touch with their own reality that they would always favour a mass movement by idolizing these people for all the wrong reasons, living their life vicariously in their footsteps, even if there’s no reason to be had except someone took their picture and put it on the front of a magazine.
Ah, yes… Hollywood. So strange when it was alive, even more bizarre in death. Not sure why you went this far off the track, but I guess sometimes you just have to get off the merry-go-round and take a walk along the mushroom trail. Best of luck.
What's a gimp-runner? Lol, sounds like someone who runs a sex-slave trafficking operation.
So, this was a trip. The dialogue was very big lol. It was very off the wall and I liked that. But, I figured I'd be confused by a lot of these stories given the parameters of the challenge. And, like many of the stories, it was difficult to figure out what this story was about exactly. I definitely got lost. But, even though I was confused, it was still entertaining.
Am I right in assuming that Deep Throat.......sorry, Deep Voice is actually Michael Douglas? And he breaks Winslow's hand so he can win the marathon? It's certainly an interesting read and well written apart from some errors but did it do it for me? I'm not sure, on the fence with this one but it's certainly not terrible. Well done.
If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
Great effort on the title-page graphic, but the eye holes don't quite work as O's. Creepy as hell, though.
Wasn't sure when the second scene happened, but appears to be not too long before the first scene.
Okay, reached the end and I'm confused... is Mario the Deep Voice? Also, if "Hollywood Is Dead" is some kind of pop-culture reference then it was completely lost on me.