I liked this story, but it could use a once-over to make it less "literary." There's no individual unfilmable that I'd consider out of bounds (each one at least tells the actors how to play the scene); it's just that there's a LOT of action lines relative to how much action actually occurs.

More of a sci-fi/drama vibe than a sci-fi/horror vibe, and once the tracking bracelet came into play it was obligatory that he'd violate the perimeter at some point. Since I'd seen Wedlock, I was pretty sure I knew how that would turn out, too. At least he got his revenge on that blasted fence!

Another quibble with the parameters: the getting-fit montage will blow any "modest" budget. You need weeks or months between shooting the two halves, or a couple different fat suits.

Overall, a good effort and a creepy dystopia.

While instant justice may horrify some people, the horrific part is how many people would applaud it. This is an entertaining story, and I actually got to like dumbass Anto. And the interaction between Barrett and Judge Hayes was especially good. But, like so many other scripts in this challenge, it’s weak on the horror end of things.

The concept of instant justice is interesting and rather frightening. Anto never got to say one word in his defense. What if we're headed down that path?

What happens after the instant justice seems a little mundane. A guy on house arrest does chin ups and gets fit. This isn't exactly thrilling and there's not much social commentary.

The explosive end works. The ankle bracelet on the remaining leg is a good way to finish.

Work on the middle. That's my advice. What does instant justice do to a man?

Also, this might work better if Anto was actually an innocent man who was wrongly convicted by the instant judgment.

Formatting issues aside, this is a pretty good story. There's no horror in it though. Plenty of Big Brother/Judge Dredd stuff, which is cool, and your characters and dialogue are excellent.

I guess I felt let down by having nobody to root for in this. Just when I thought Anto might redeem himself, he goes off the rails. I would have even been cool with him getting all fit and agile to better get away from the jerk cops next time. Instead he just sinks into his habits and pays a heftier price than expected.

Still, there's a lot to like here and I'm looking forward to more from you. Learn proper formatting and you're off to the races.