Page 2: There's no type of neighbour I'd be embarrassed of. So now I'm at odds with the script. Always a risk with direct address.

It's fun and straightforward. Only some are hateful, but hatred will get us all killed. Fair enough -- but the story that plays out around it doesn't also need to be so straightforward. Give our protags a couple obstacles, have a real conflict between them and Otis, get some turns in there. It's fun as is, it just feels slight.

Personally, I'd like to see Otis come over to them, offering his protection, refusing to take no for an answer. One idea.

It's well written.

A very visual and clean narration too.

But I didn't understand the story. I don't know what exactly happened, how it's a future. Wasn't it supposed to be an invention of the future by requirement? I don't know.

It wasn't for me. Intense and visual though. But I couldn't figure out the story. And I don't see how it fits the requirement.

Hate lures aliens to earth. Not a bad idea. I just watched the alien flick The Vast of Night, and this has a similar feel.

The main drawback is that this is straight-up alien invasion. The riot/hate aspect is a slightly different wrinkle, but the events ultimately feel a little familiar.

The mental image I got from reading this was very reminiscent of 'War of the Worlds'. I get the feeling that this was written in a rush, yes? I liked a lot of the visuals but you're pushing the budget here.

Sci-fi for sure but no tech bringing on the horrors (check). I enjoyed the read but felt let down by the ending and his final line.

Good work, writer. Good luck.

This does a good job of encompassing the racism issues and showing both sides. It doesn't try to fix anything, instead it blames it for drawing the attention of the hostile aliens. Not a bad take, but this is where the short page count really hurts. It reduces the cause to a mere catalyst, the thing that doomed us all, without having the opportunity to make it about the cause itself. It could have been anything, literally anything, that draws the attention of the aliens, you just decided to make it about the racism protests and rioting. There's no meaning in it.

The voice over doesn't work either. Where is the opportunity for narration? From beyond the grave? American Beauty this is not.

Otherwise, I did find the dialogue to be good, the mounting tension to be well executed, the premise to be interesting. Apparently I need to check out The Vast Of Night too, it's right up my alley. The budget is definitely blown, but it's a sci-fi horror in my books.

Thanks for the reads, everyone. Happy most of you at least enjoyed the writing. The ending is meant to imply that all mankind is going to suffer due to the hatred of only a few. I'm pretty happy with what I came up with.