A little ode to Uncut Gems?

Lovely dialogue, Writer. A lot for other writers to look at to see how to write effective colourful banter, along with vernacular and slang.

Funny, too.

Le Lion.  

...telling  me  I have  exactly  one  hour  to  get  your money,
Right, got it. A real throw away line, but I'm guessing -

A dead body in a room would have been a Spoiler?

HERB,  40s,  bursts  into  the  room.  He’s  a  large  man  in  a  cheap suit  that  can  barely  contain  his  protruding  gut.  
Great character description.

This was a great counter line to Marcus's previous intimidation:

HOWARD No.  That’s  not  why.  When  you disappear  from  this  earth  without  a trace  everyone  on  the  street  will know  it  was  me.  Then,  my  chump  debt collectors  will  be  far  more effective.

Oh, bum. I suppose I just wanted Howard to come off unscathed.

This was really well written, terrific dialogue, some great humour too, and I loved the punchline.

So, I guess there's a reason why I have to take my kid's toys apart and put them back together again because I didn't read the directions properly the first time. I'll admit, when I wrote this I thought I was golden as far as the rules went. I mean, I even tossed in a dead body in a room and blood everywhere.

Anyway, I'm really happy with what I came up with. If I knew how to film gun play I'd even take a crack at making it. And yes, I was very much going for that Uncut Gems vibe. I really loved that film.

As for the ending, I just wanted both of their egos to get the best of them. A young hot shot tries to outwit a worldly old man - an old man waits 67 years to try and play gangsta with mall cop rejects. I thought it was fun to have everything go awry. I can see why a lot of people didn't dig it.

Thanks for the reads and comments everyone!

James