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Fade Out - OWC (currently 449 views) |
Don |
Posted: September 24th, 2021, 10:34pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16438 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Fade Out by Stewie Griffin - A man struggles to find the words he needs to say. Short, Drama |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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SAC |
Posted: September 25th, 2021, 6:34am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
Writer,
Clever. Speaking of football, a loss this week and I’m saying goodbye to my Giants. But anyway…
Good way of saying goodbye. Fade out. But apparently you did get an entry in! Written well and well done.
Steve |
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Reply: 1 - 13 |
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Yuvraj |
Posted: September 25th, 2021, 11:35am |
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Been Around
LocationWhy you wanna know? Posts791 Posts Per Day 0.50 |
Hi, writer,
The story is clever in its deliverance. It is quick and easy to read. Although, to me, it seemed really odd in relation to the given theme of the challenge.
Good luck. |
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Zack |
Posted: September 25th, 2021, 12:57pm |
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January Project Group
LocationErlanger, KY Posts4500 Posts Per Day 0.69 |
Clever and quirky, but there's really not much here. Definitely relatable. Lol. Good effort. % |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Zack - September 25th, 2021, 2:42pm | | |
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Reply: 3 - 13 |
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RolandJ |
Posted: September 25th, 2021, 8:02pm |
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January Project Group
LocationLos Angeles Posts105 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
Writer; Man relating to machine. These days computers pretty much function as partners. Except with this project who left who needs to be clarified because with the push of a button they will both return. Thoughtful entry. |
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LC |
Posted: September 25th, 2021, 8:38pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7628 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
Loved the set-up and the build up. Laughed at the two mugs being placed for inspiration. I suppose I just wanted more. I was hoping for a bit more of a punchline to Fade Out. Perhaps if you expand this you could add a spouse character or an interrupting child? Entertaining nonetheless. |
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Reply: 5 - 13 |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: September 26th, 2021, 9:36am |
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Old Timer
LocationColorado Posts1547 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
Hi Stewie Griffin,
I rolled my eyes when I first started reading this, at the meta-ness of the script. But was pleasantly surprised by the end of things. I liked the visual of him replacing FADE IN with FADE OUT, it's very strong, especially complemented with him being clean shaven and dressed nicely. Really makes you wonder, what's he going to do next? While I have an idea, it could be different from others. Good way of saying Goodbye.
Good job.
Sean |
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Gary in Houston |
Posted: September 26th, 2021, 5:22pm |
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January Project Group
LocationTexas Posts1306 Posts Per Day 0.31 |
a very quick read on this one indeed, so thumbs up on that! I think it's pretty clear that we have a writer here who is saying goodbye (symbolically) to writing. rather than turn in a script, the only thing he types is "FADE OUT", or "this is the end for me". Certainly is a feeling we've all probably felt at one time or another, so I can't quarrel with what the writer does here. And to be able to do it in a page and a half is pretty impressive. I like the visuals and the white space utilized here, so good job here. Best of luck with it. |
| Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
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Reply: 7 - 13 |
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ColinS |
Posted: September 27th, 2021, 11:59am |
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January Project Group Keep Believing!
LocationUK Posts242 Posts Per Day 0.24 |
Hi Griffin - Loved this. Might not have a lot to do with the criteria, but I don't care.
Great writing + Super relatable! |
| "Some Day I'll Be Saturday Night..." |
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Reply: 8 - 13 |
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Kevin_L |
Posted: September 27th, 2021, 10:36pm |
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New
Posts143 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Writer,
Good job on using the challenge itself to tell your story. It's written well and relatable.
All the best. |
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Pleb |
Posted: September 28th, 2021, 1:50pm |
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LocationUK Posts444 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
Hmm... that was different. Very different. An easy, very well written little short though.
My main criticism would be that whilst it's fairly relatable, it lacks the punch of the previous scripts I've read so far.
Good luck |
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PKCardinal |
Posted: September 28th, 2021, 3:47pm |
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January Project Group
LocationKansas Posts1448 Posts Per Day 0.63 |
So, the writer is saying goodbye to the script. He's never coming back.
Or, given that he's now dressed nicely and clean-shaven, we can clearly assume he's no longer a writer.
Yep, I think that's it. |
| PaulKWrites.com
60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror |
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Reply: 11 - 13 |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: September 29th, 2021, 3:11pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Thematically, I like this one, but I felt the story, perhaps ironically, was lacking. Reminded me of when people used to write those meta SS scripts back in the day. However, this one felt lacking by its lack of detail. We never get a sense of Carson (if he's wearing the same clothes for the third straight day, he went to work that way or doesn't have a job) as a person. Also, if I'm not mistaken, the script covers a period of nine days, more than the length of the OWC. I hate nit picking story elements, but it is a rather short script and it sticks out to me. Best of luck with this one. |
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AnthonyCawood |
Posted: October 1st, 2021, 5:26pm |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts4323 Posts Per Day 1.13 |
Laughed as soon as I saw he was called Carson, well done for getting an entry in I guess |
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