Ok probably my FAVORITE logline/concept/title so far.

But...ok right out of the gate...you got this load of exposition delivered in dialogue that is so on the nose. The action lines are a bit hard to get through as well.  I mean it takes two pages of that expo and we are not at a story yet. This is a GREAT concept.

Then the whole mad scientist and dog is reminding me of a script I read in here years ago.

Wow...really really great concept but the story does not really deliver for me. But you got serious imagination chops...so get the writing down and learn a little about structure and what makes a story work because you have something here worth taking the time to rewrite it into something really marketable in my opinion.

I have to say GREAT job on concept... work on the story.

I love the initial concept of this one, but felt it really ran off the rails in the last 2 3rds.  The idea of a mother assuring a frightened little girl about monsters is really full of potential - and that's what I expected when I cracked this one open.

But when it switched over to the fantasy Frankenstein sequence, the story really lost me.  My impression - that you weren't sure where to take this, and grabbed the first idea you thought of.  If so, I'd rework this one.  But a very charming basic story to be played with (at least, in the way it opens...)

Cheers,

--J (W)

Writer I'd love to talk to you about this script. Please email me girlbytheshore@hotmail.com.