Writer,

No elements of horror really, but I laughed several times! This was really funny. I thought it was gonna lose it when the attorneys showed up, but when the Wolfman howled over the intercom I was laughing again! Well written, and smart. One of my favorites.

Steve

I sort of dreaded reading this one. I had seen some of the comments and assumed it was a comedy and I would hate it. I was wrong! It was funny, but you did have some horror in there and I give you major props for using the creature from the black lagoon.

I loved how Christopher don't want to commit to Brooke in case another girl shows up and then Brooke ends up being the one who finds someone else. Funny and clever script. Probably one of my favorites.  

I was prepared to totally hate this.  It totally won me over.

THE GOOD:  Your ear for dialogue is superb.  Your descriptions reflect your desired tone with ease.  And what is this...a Prelap??  Haha...now you're just screwing with us.  This is a talented veteran having a laugh.  Looking forward to learning who wrote this.

THE BAD:  The fact that you are just f'ing around.  But even your f'ing around is better than most.  This almost smells like Shelton -- but that's not possible, is it?    

bert's grade:  B+  

Just read The Mummy's Search, where I said that as it ignored the spirit of the challenge, it'd better deliver. This is similarly uninterested in the criteria, so the same high bar was set for it to be worth it.

And this... WAS. Humour is of course subjective, so others may disagree, but:

I was genuinely laughing from your first dialogue block all the way to the end. Not tittering, or smiling, properly laughing out loud. It's the Blue Lagoon - and then BANG it's a teen comedy. This is a sketch, really, not a short script - but get it shot by someone who knows what they're doing, with good production values, and this would slot right in to something like College Humor or Funny or Die. And be better than most of what they distribute.

Two jokes didn't land for me: the accent, and the black penis. The rest were absolutely spot on. Grogal saying his own name was great, it should sound really pathetic and entirely unthreatening. Joke after joke landed with aplomb, I kept waiting for it to fizzle out but barring the couple of wobbles mentioned above, it didn't. Brilliant comic pacing, and the twist at the end? You even managed to fashion a surprise ending.

As with others, I can't vote for this to win the Challenge because you didn't really enter the challenge. What you did do was write a top, top notch comedy script. Thanks for a great read. Now reveal yourself so I can learn from you.

Interesting how some peeps don't seem to have a problem with certain obvious pissers, but then on other ones, they literally attack the writer.

Sure, some are better than others and some actually "try" to follow some semblance of theme for the challenge, but if you're trying to seriously review all the entries, a more common ground should probably be met when it comes to the "pisser".  

Quoted from Dreamscale Interesting how some peeps don't seem to have a problem with certain obvious pissers, but then on other ones, they literally attack the writer. Sure, some are better than others and some actually "try" to follow some semblance of theme for the challenge, but if you're trying to seriously review all the entries, a more common ground should probably be met when it comes to the "pisser".

This is not a pisser.  It is a well-crafted piece of work.  It just happens to be a comedy.

Oh I have a problem with all of them. Won't be voting for any of them, certainly. And hopefully I'm not 'attacking' anyone. For The Mummy's Search, though, that did feel lazy. This didn't.

Quoted from bert This is not a pisser.  It is a well-crafted piece of work.  It just happens to be a comedy.

I guess that boils down to what each person considers to be a pisser.

For me, anytime one purposely writes "terrible" dialogue, meant to be funny, we're in pisser territory.  This has purposely terrible dialogue, so...it's a pisser.

Same goes for absurd action and redonkulous type goings on, which this does as well.

If you're going to break the rules, you better make sure you do a good job of it.

Grogal,

This was good. Writing was nice, an easy and quick read. Funny in parts and I love the ending. The dialogue at the start is a little expository, regarding the people dying, but I get the feeling that's what you were going for.

Nice job.

Glenn.

Well, despite the fact this one was written as an utter goof, I rather enjoyed it.

Obviously penned by one of the seriously competent writers on this board, the dialogue riffs are very meta, funny and a smooth read.

Is it something that I'd personally pay to see produced?  Well... no.... and I doubt that it would have all that much context outside the challenge at hand.  

But still - it's a fun read.  And a definitely breath of fresh air after all the darned Frankenstein stories (even the good ones!)

Creature from the Blue Lagoon

"CHRISTOPHER
...I thank God Captain Smith
tried to sail through the hurricane
rather than around it."

Uf. Okay, let's see where this gets.

"CHRISTOPHER
Uh, yeah, I like you."

Hm, a bit confusing in case of tone-

It's too Long and the punch lines are not strong enough, as well as the ending.

A good moment with the spear and an interesting monster is not enough yet imo

I think this one unfairly lacked in reads and this reflected in the eventual score. This was one of my recs. Nice work, Ewall. Some real talent on display here.

I agree with Dustin. It got a Rec from me as well.

Damn this was funny at times

I must re read just because I will enjoy it.

Loved this too. Got a recommend from me. Great job!