Whimsical, and very effective/efficient as a short.  A play on childhood fears with a clever little twist... did it, or did it not really happen? Ooooh…

Outside of the red syrup on Leon, we’ll never truly know… maybe Jenny brought a ‘Baby Bottle Pop’ to the slumber party? Doesn’t matter, I liked it for its simplicity, not sure there’s much you could add or take away, or would need to change.

To this day I still quickly jump into the bed when I get close enough cause I think something’s gonna reach out and grab my leg, or worse… slice open my Achilles Tendon with a straight razor. Have fun getting into bed tonight with that image, lol.

This was a little over-written and would benefit from a re-write and polish...

But I did like the story itself, the kids and the witch worked well and the Lion saving them in the end all worked great too.

Overall a good effort

Just curious, Anthony... Are thou reading at four in the morning?

I love your title. Like Snakes on a Plane, Jaws 3D or Freddy vs Jason, it tells us everything we need to know.

What font is your copyright notice? Try to stick to 12pt Courier; avoid bold and italics as much as possible.

No "FADE IN:"?

Quoted Text INT. [PETER]'S ROOM - NIGHT The dark room is lightened up as MIRANDA (35) opens the door for her little six[-]year[-]old son PETER.

Why don't you just called it "PETER'S ROOM"?

Quoted Text He eyes her[,] unconvincedly.

Not sure "unconvincedly" is a word.

As others have pointed out, be careful with those wrylies/parentheticals; don't overuse them.

Quoted Text The[y] bend down together to take another look. Nothing.

You might wanna CAP Leon.

"Now[,] sleep well."

"(evil)"

Um, witches in horror aren't exactly good.

Quoted Text Peter's eyes [open wide] in an instant. Terror is written [o]n his face and he breathes heavily.

Quoted Text The moon throws a shadow [at the wall --] [] a cusp cap on top of a face with a long, crooked nose []. Peter squinches his eyes shut in horror.

Reads better.

Quoted Text PETER (whispering) Go away. Go away. Leave me alone!

This is the first parenthetical I've read that was helpful/necessary.

Quoted Text After a few seconds of ease, Peter's instantly horrified again as he realizes something is slowly pulling the blanket down from the bed.

Reads cleaner.

Nice description of the witch.  

Quoted Text Peter ducks behind the toy box, still screaming. He [screams] so much, he doesn't even realize as the door opens up [that?] the lights are switched on.

Huh??? You might need to rewrite this part.

Quoted Text MIRANDA You want to sleep in [M]ommy's bed tonight?

Who's Jenny?

Quoted Text They exchange a look while Peter chews a way[-]too[-]big piece of cake[,] and is unable to respond. He just shrugs instead.

Quoted Text PETER She always want(s) to play silly girl stuff. Like [M]om and [D]ad with her puppets...

He's six. Even at that age, he should have a better grasp of grammar (want/s).

I cut this dialogue down a bit:

Quoted Text MIRANDA Her mom being so sick isn't easy for her. And her dad barely has time for her because he's got to care for his wife so much [of it].

Or

Quoted Text MIRANDA Her mom being so sick isn't easy for her. And her dad barely has time for her because he's got to care for his wife so much.

Quoted Text Peter sighs. Then nods[,] in an unconvinced manner.

Quoted Text MIRANDA Just look [on] the bright side of it: You'll have some backup tonight if that nasty witch returns tonight.

A little too on-the-nose, as is the "Her mom being sick" above. Try a little more subtext.

Quoted Text MIRANDA Oh, there she is.

Perfect example of subtext.

Quoted Text JENNY'S DAD (O.S.) Thank you so much for having her here tonight.

Quoted Text Peter hears the door fall in it[]s lock.

"It's" is a contraction of "it is;" "its" is possessive, as should be used above.

"Hello[,] Leon" needs an apostrophe.

"Airbed" is an orphan; you might want to remove "over the airbed" entirely.

"(to Jenny)"

We kinda get it already. Doesn't sound like something she'd say to Peter... or the witch, for that matter.

Quoted Text MIRANDA Okay, okay. You're a big boy, I get it.

So do we.

Quoted Text Jenny points at a shadow on the wall. It's the [same] shadow of the cusp cap on top of that ugly witch head again [from last night].

No need to repeat yourself. Repeat yourself. Repeat yourself.

Quoted Text She turns around and stares at a giant LION sitting on Peter's bed.

There's something you don't see every day! I like it!  

Quoted Text As Peter drops his arm, he stares at Leon, the toy pet, who sits in front of the wardrobe. A red fluid is spread all around the plushie's mouth.

Nice touch.  

Quoted Text MIRANDA Hey, come on. I told you to sleep. It's past three in the morning!

Reads better. It would also sound better when spoken aloud, than as written.

Quoted Text MIRANDA Okay, enough play time for today. Come on, back to your beds!

And here, too.

"Nightstand" is an orphan.

No "FADE OUT:"?

You had so many niggles and issues that, had the story underwhelmed, I would have stopped a lot earlier.

A consider, based on the strength of the story.

Challenges/Parameters: B
Story: A
Technical/Formatting: B-/C+
Horror: A
Overall: A-

Good job.

Thanks for the nice feedback, appreciate it. As a non-native speaker it takes much longer for me to go through the script again and again and to fix all spelling, grammar and word choice issues than the time I had for this script, so yeah, this is pretty much a first draft written in like 2 hours.

@Chris

Will definately use your input to improve it.

HTDWTWUYB was my second rec.

As I said in another thread, I'm not so familiar with horror and so I favored those scripts who have more familiar beats to what I view and write myself, "generally". Not so sure if that was so fair in hindsight, lol. But that's due to subjectivity I believe.

Here, I liked most that the boy changed his mind about girls and teamed up with her. Those scary visuals with the shadows and eventually the lion, eating the witch, was translated well, and also enough to put a check at the field horror, and then enjoy the rest of the story even more. Good script.