A Tale That Wasn't Right by Jeff Bush (dreamscale) - Short, Horror - Old Man Pomeroy's ghost's been hauntin' the area ever' year on Hallowee...well, you know what I mean.  Josh and Jael race against an unseen clock in a race against time to end the evil. - pdf, format

Hey, at least you tried.  At both humor and writing a screenplay.  Glad I'm the first to comment, really.  I caught the new uploads just at the right time...


1. You don't space after your scenes... This is not a pro move.  And if you say it's because of space restraints maybe you shouldn't have entered a OWC with so many.  I see you took this one all the way to the end, teetering on the brink of spilling over into page 11, though.  Just imagine what a properly formated version of this one would look like.    

2. Goofy good looks?  What does this mean?  And south of the border babe?  I take it she's suppose to be of Hispanic orgin, but only because you reference it later on.  A bit, I dunno... Vague, maybe?

3. You have more comas than a secretary with a stuttering tourette problem.  If you take your sentences down, Mr. Grammar, you culd probably have better lead thru's.  Short sentences are always better than broken ones.  Even if you don't finish them properly -- You know, like me.  

4.  Josh's beat on page 3 is lunacy.  Beats all together are lunacy, though.  Beats are no different than a parenthetical instruction. Or, as you'd so aptly say -->
"wrylies".  You'd probably follow that word up with "Orphan", though, too.  And lots of times.    

Anyways, ball busting aside... I didn't go into these OWC's with high hopes and grandiloquent expectations.  I didn't pin my future writing endeavorer(s) on my script and I'm glad I didn't.  I knew the challenge was going to call for a strict formula and that is why I changed up my own format to adherer to it.  

Simply put, I'm no more happy with mine as you should be with yours.  Oh, wait, yes I am... At least I tried.  You simply jotted down, in what appears to be an hour, some poorly crafted thought; stretched out into a 10 page teenage romp, full of bong hits, cussing and sexual innuendos.  Oh, and jokes that went nowhere too fast for us to ask where we were going.

We could all talk technicals here and there, but what's important is story... And there just isn't much here.  I see you keyboard commando around, taking snide little hits at other scripts, perched atop a cloud holding a giant gavel.  But if people would take 2 seconds to compare their work to yours... they'd see you both wear the same size shoe probably.

But, hey... At least you tried.

Thanks for all that, Balt. It's appreciated.

So you're saying you didn't like the script?  You didn't find it entertaining or funny?  I actually am still laughing my ass off over numerous lines in here.  I'm glad I can entertain myself at least.

You are correct about the spacing, obviously.

Sorry you're against commas.  Commas and I seem to get along very well.

I always try, my friend.  Did I not succeed here?  If not, my apologies.  Thanks for reading.

I thought it was  a very amusing attempt at the challenge.   I got a few chuckles out of it.  At least you tried to create a world and I respect that.  Plus, I liked it, it was different.  And knowing you, you could have taken the easy route and gone for pure horror.  

But I did think it came off as a bit rushed and some of the formatting you did was very suspect

(beat)
(beat)
(beat)

for example.  What the hell was that?

Plus, I didn't really get a Columbian vibe from the Columbian girls dialogue.  You need to put some twang there.

There were other little things but overall, I kind of enjoyed the read so I don't really have that much to criticise.

Thank you for reading, Michael.

The triple beat was a joke.

Maybe you guys aren't familiar with the SyFy network show, Destination Truth.  Josh and Jael are real people, and maybe why it's so funny to me.  Jael may be from Columbia, but she doesn't sound like it.

I actually fucked up when I submitted this.  This is the first version, and I added several lines (and trimmed a few things out) and thought I submitted the right one...I was wasted, obviously I didn't.  The correct version actually ends with some horror.  Oh well, my bad.

Glad you got a few chuckles.

Even comedy scripts should be serious about how they are presented.  If you joke with things like beats - it just makes the script seem like you didn't really care about it and weren't taking it seriously.  If you feel that way, then your readers will too.  

I understand and agree with you, Michael.  The revised version had those extra beats removed.  It was the vodka's fault.  My bad...

Jeff,

A tale of drug induced sexual partying by a bunch of ghost hunters? Funny!

Not quite what I was expecting from Mr. Horror...

Gary

Sorry, Jeff, but I thought this was utterly ridiculous.  Not even funny.  I guess I was expecting some real horror from you.   After all, you're one of the "horror kings" on this site.   This was a major let down.   But congrats on completing an entry.  I know you probably wrote this one at the very last minute.

Don't drink & write!

EDIT:  Sorry, Jeff, I shouldn't have called this utterly ridiculous.  It's just comedy.

Thanks for reading Gary and Michael.

It was written the last day, but not in a matter of minutes.

Sorry it didn't work for you.  I'm still laughing over numerous lines in this.  Guess my sense of humor is unique to myself.

Sorry to let you down.

Quoted from Dreamscale Sorry to let you down.

No apologies necessary.   You gave it a shot.  That's all that counts.

We all gave it a shot.

Dreamscale

I was waiting for yours.  I was expecting some good horror... instead I got some good laughs... really.  I thought it was funny, but then I have a sick sense of humor anyway.

I wished you had spend more time mixing a better story together though.

But it was entertaining, so congrats.

Ghost

Thanks for reading, Ghost.

Sorry about the lack of horror.  I got kind of annoyed with the limitations and wasn't going to enter a script, but tried Friday to come up with something that would work and still contain my Sperm whale.  Nothing came to mind, so I decided to go another direction Friday afternoon.

Glad you got some laughs.  As I keep saying, I'm still laughing myself.

"My God, no!"

"My God, no!"

"My God, yes!?

HaHa...

Jeff,

I didn’t get much horror from your story, but props for inventing a pretty weird environment.
My favorite image is that of the sperm whale bones in the whale room.  I’m picturing it as on display like in a museum, which is an imposing thought.

As for the characters, Josh and Jael, I got tired of their sexual antics.  I didn’t mind them early on, but they just kept at it and I thought, enough is enough. Kind of killed any shift in tone.  Then again, I guess this wasn’t played for the horror anyway.

The scenario with the Mr. Pomeroy’s leg bones was amusing. It got a little interesting when the old ghost reared back with the harpoon, but didn’t care much for Jael being intercepted by the whale remains at the door.  Not sure how that works — couldn’t get a clear picture of giant whale bones detaining the woman.

I could appreciate the part of Josh and Jael in the house to get footage of Pomeroy, but again, I wanted J&J to kind of get serious and do the job right.

I was hoping for more down and dirty horror, but oh well.

Written for laughs and I think you had fun.

Jeff,

So, you used the sperm whale after all.  Way to go.  I had seen in some of your earlier posts that you had written a pisserino, so that's what I was expecting.  Unfortunately, I was quite disappointed with the lack of laughs.  I had high hopes at first, because I did like the toup cam.  But, that whackiness, by and large, left the story and you went with the sex jokes.  And IMO, you went to that well way too many times.  Okay, these two are horny bastards.  We get it.    

I like how you tried for the madcap ending, but it wasn't nearly enough to salvage this script for me.  I liked some lines at the beginning and end, but very little held my attention in between.

But hey, you did stick to the owc rules,  and that's an accomplishment.  In the end, I suppose I wish you had just made an effort at a serious entry.  Maybe next time.  

Take care,

Ryan

Thanks for reading, Abe and good to see you around the boards.

Yeah, this was just for fun.  It was fun for me and I was hoping it would be fun for everyone else as well, but looks like that's not going to be the case.

The version I thought I submitted had alot more of the whale, as well as an actual horror ending.

Take care!

Jeff bringing up the rear of the OWC train. No surprise, since you like sticking it to the guys in front of you and your asshole's so tight you couldn't fit a toothpick in it.

Just so you know, I read this five minutes ago. Was gonna sleep on it since you're such a good guy. But, I'm hammered.

Onto script...

PG 1
"JAEL, 20's, smoking hot south of the border babe," How do we know this?? There's plenty of latinos in my neighborhood. North of the border. Minus one for an unfilmable. Bad start bro.

Josh tossing Jael his toupee?? Okay, back to even. I laughed.

pg. 2
"Jael tosses a martini into the air. The liquid pours directly
down his mouth." - woopsie, his?? Is this your coming out party? Minus one.

Uhp, It's LindsAy. Not Lindsey Lohan. minus two.

"Two brightly colored cocktails with tiny umbrellas sit
next to them." - Jael just pounded a whole fifth, toked a bong several times, and now she/he's drinking a cocktail with an umbrella in it? Don't buy it. Bad character development. minus three.

Toupee cam??? Back up to minus two.


JOSH
Oh, sorry...I like that chalet story
though.
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
Yeah, so Old Man Pomeroy's great,
great, great grand daddy... - Love it! You know I'm a fan of (beat). only minus one now!!!

JAEL
I bet you'd be a great, great, great
daddy. You wanna be my daddy? I'll
be your little school girl
cheerleader. - Almost got a point... Almost

"A dead fish jumps out of his
mouth, flops on the floor." - how does a dead fish jump and flop??? Minus 2 again.

"Pomeroy looks away from Jael to his legs...back to Jael...back
to the bones." - Okay, that was funny. Minus 1

Yeah, I laughed couldn't help it going in. Maybe just cuz I'm a bit pissard, but that was one of your better pissers. Still, minus 1, sorry to say...

Cheers, always, from the drunk.

James

Thanks for reading, Cleveland.

I'll take minus 1 point with a smile.

The line about the martini flying through the air...it lands in Josh's mouth, thus the "his".  May not have set that one up properly.

Glad you got a few laughs.  That was the goal.

Take care.

'The stairway is too narrow. Get on all fours, and I'll climb over you'...

That line is pure fucking(perhaps Colombian gold!!!

Now I have to build another stoery to my house, insert a staricase and try this line on my missus...

I haven't a clue about the show you ref here, bro, but it still came over funny. Actually, Jael has to be a real name - its too silly to makeup!!!

Sure its a pisstake, but other ones were allowed so no one should be complaining about it.

Good entertainment Jeff!!

Thanks for the read, Stevie.

Glad you found some humor in it.

I think you should try that line on the missus whether or not you have a 2nd floor!  You never know...go for it!  Or just have her dress up like a schoolgirl cheerleader.

Take care.

Hey Ryan, thanks for reading. Your post came up when I was responding to another, but I just caught it…sorry for the oversight.

Yeah, I stuck to my guns and used my whale after all.  Sorry you didn’t find it funny.  Actually, I’m surprised people aren’t finding it funnier.  I guess I have a strange sense of humor?

Oh well, as Balt said, at least I tried…and I did.  Take care.

I think this has clever moments but I wish there had been more of a story.  

Thanks for the read, Catherine.

I, too, wish there was more story here.  There was supposed to be, but it got buried in jokes and sight gags.  I think it's the old runaway train syndrome...once I got going, there was no stopping me.

Glad you found some clever moments.

This was pretty bad, dude. I mean... No Meat was bad but of course, you knew that and you intended it to be. You went all out with that one. This one seemed halfway between a pisser and an actual attempt at the challenge.

None of the jokes worked. Jael's dialogue was particularly abysmal. Seemed like stuff ripped from Snakes on a Plane or something. Absolute cliche, filler sex talk. The pet names. The cheerleader references. Honestly, people could be more creative with their roleplaying. But what really made it fall flat was the fact that it actually wasn't as bad as it could've been... as it should've been. If it had been even more cringeworthy, I would've been sold that it was a pisstake. But that wasn't the case. If I hadn't read your other stuff, I would've assumed this was a genuine attempt at dialogue.

The story was alright. Needless to say, it was completely bogged down by awful characters. The whale, somehow, worked. "Slithers" was a good word choice. The ghost was a little goofy but in a good way. I liked the seaweed vomiting and all that. It was fun.

The ending was the worst. For a moment, I was kinda hoping Old Man Pomeroy would nail Jael with the harpoon and the two guys would get munched by the whale. No such luck. And the slow motion of the legs flying through the air... dude.

In all fairness, I can't tell what you wanted this to be. So you'd had a few when you submitted this. You still must've had some idea. It actually doesn't break any rules as far as I can tell, despite all the official thread shenanigans. This could actually have been a real entry. Contrary-wise, it could've been a real pisser.

So what can I say? Great setting. Decent story. Characters that make me want to stop reading...

Is it safe to say this is what it is?

Hey James, thanks for reading.  Sorry you hated it.

I'm actually really surprised so few are finding this funny.  I laugh out loud to numerous lines still to this day.  As I said earlier, I guess I have a very strange sense of humor.

Both characters are real people, and star on Syfy's Destination Truth, which is a MonsterQuest-like show. Maybe that's why I find it so funny, cause I see them on the show, and it makes me crack up.

It's supposed to be a parody/comedy so if that makes it a pisser, so be it, if not, I'm cool with that as well.  It started out all pisser, but I decided not to go that route.  The triple "beat" was obviously a joke.  In my wastedness, I sent in the wrong draft.  The final draft had alot more of the whale in it, as well as an actual horror ending.  But if you hated this, you'd hate that as well.

I found Jael's dialogue hysterical.  My favorite is when she says, "My God...no!" when Pomeroy gets ready to throw the harpoon.  Then, as she turns to run, the whale's at the door, and she says, "My God...no!" again, then, Josh tells her to get on all fours, and she says, "My God...yes!"  Glad I can humor myself.  Also like the line she says about, Scare me, rebel."  Or how about when she plays the cassette recorder and "Let's Get it On" starts up?

Oh well, guess it didn't work.  I apologize.

Thanks for checking it out, though.

Quoted from Dreamscale I'm actually really surprised so few are finding this funny.  I laugh out loud to numerous lines still to this day.

So did Arsenio Hall...

Sorry. I plan on reading all of these, but the ones that read me first get precedence. Barring any setbacks, this one'll be first tonight. =)

Quoted from Dreamscale I'm actually really surprised...

You say this a lot, usually in regards to popular opinion.

Quoted from Dreamscale As I said earlier, I guess I have a very strange sense of humor.

Case in point. Honestly, your taste in just about everything eludes me, even when it comes to things we both like.

Quoted from Dreamscale Both characters are real people, and star on Syfy's Destination Truth, which is a MonsterQuest-like show. Maybe that's why I find it so funny, cause I see them on the show, and it makes me crack up.

Had no idea this was the case. I did thing the SyFy namedrop was odd. Figured you made up a show or something. So do these two drink, do drugs and have sex in real life too or is that your personal contribution?

Quoted from Dreamscale Or how about when she plays the cassette recorder and "Let's Get it On" starts up?

I will give you that once that started up, I wondered "what's going on here?" But it was just a gag, I guess. Still, maybe a little pizazz here.

James, no they don't drink, do drugs, and have sex.  It's a normal TV show, on Thursday nights.  This was a parody/comedy...at least it was supposed to be.

I had a few people read it before I submitted it and they were rolling on the floor...literally.  Maybe it wasn't taken in the vein it was intended, or maybe I hang with whackos?

So you're saying my taste in everything is off, or weird? Damn, maybe that's why everything is in the shitter for me of late?

Did I not read yours yet, Blonde?  I think I've read 39 of the 45.  I'll get to it soon, if I haven't.

Quoted from Dreamscale So you're saying my taste in everything is off, or weird? Damn, maybe that's why everything is in the shitter for me of late?

Not off. Not weird. Just very, very, very specific. Is it not? Think you might've said it yourself. What I was getting at was I have a very hard time figuring out why you like or dislike what you do. Whatever logic I can apply to your taste, you always manage to surprise me somehow, even after you've explained yourself.

For example, you love Avatar and yet you also love Eyes Wide Shut. Polar opposites. Further more, you like Eyes Wide Shut and yet don't like The Shining. LOL wut? I think whatever's there to turn people off from The Shining is even more so in EWS.

Also (forget where I read this) putting Iron Maiden and Helloween as equals or Hostel on a top 10 list. Not that I hate any of those things but how you would arrive at some of these conclusions is lost on me.

Not gonna debate your taste. Meant nothing by the first comment. I think we dig a lot of the same stuff and agree on a lot of things most people don't. I just can't seem to figure out where you're coming from.

Getting back to your script, I also don't get how you could be dying from laughter from your own script after stating time and time again you're not even a comedy guy.

James, good points, all!  I am bizarre for sure...and specific.  That's a great catch...come to think of it, others have used that word about me before.

I loved the novel, The Shining, but was disappointed by the movie.  Thought it was dull and not very scary.  I don't hate it or anything like that, but IMO, it's far from a great movie.  Eyes Wide Shut, IMO, is just a great flick because it thumbs its nose at just about every convention in film making...it meanders from place to place, plotpoint to plotpoint.  It has insanely long dialogue exchanges that seemingly have little to do with anything.  But for me, it was just very entertaining and filled with fantastic acting and characters.

Funny about the Maiden/Helloween comment.  When I decided to write a script for this challenge, Friday morning, I wanted to base it on either a song by Maiden or Helloween (of all things!).  I started searching lyrics and couldn't come up with anything that was going to work within the limitations we were up against.  So, at least I used an old Helloween song title, which I'm sure no one caught or is even aware of.

They are 2 of my favorite bands of all time, any way you look at it, and still rock to this day.

Thanks for playing along, James.  Always appreciated.

Quoted from Dreamscale Did I not read yours yet, Blonde?  I think I've read 39 of the 45.  I'll get to it soon, if I haven't.

Not yet, but don't bother. Apparently, I broke 4 out of the 9 rules that were set. I say I only broke 2, but hey, what can you do?

I don't find it funny at all (and I thought your No Meat was funny by the way) or entertaining. I think the reason is - 1) it's about nothing and 2) it's kind of middle of the road, not edgy for something that's about nothing...(No Meat was about nothing but it's edgy)

He says "I recon" (and there's lot's of other hard-core mid-western slang) but he's from Columbia...

I was confused at the beginning:

"Josh bring in the last of the equipment" - I did not know he was bringing in the equipment, and then "what kind of equipment" is an immediate question. The truck at the door isn't much of an explanation I think.

"Josh begins filming as Jael does a Latin dance complete with castanets" - now I know what equipment you're talking about, but how's "he begins filming" all of the sudden, when did he set up this equipment, and where the castanets came from... - that greatly confused me.

Thanks for reading, Khamanna.  Most are not finding this funny, so you're in the vast majority.

Josh is not Colombian. Only Jael is.

The equipment thing was glanced over. It's a parody of a real television show, in which the crew goes out looking for monsters and ghosts each week (I incorrectly assumed people would be familiar with the show, and realize they always have a bunch of equipment).

He was filming with his "toup cam", but it was not mentioned.  The whole thing about Jael starting a Latin dance with castanets was a complete joke that didn't go over very well.  There are actually numerous examples of people pulling things out from "nowhere".  Again, just a whacky parody joke-like thing.

Sorry it didn't work for you at all.  Guess I better ditch the whacky humor route, as no one seems to like it.

Take care.

Jeff,

Good on you for taking a piss all over the challenge!
I'll have you know I saved you for last. 7WC reads. Done! OWC reads. Outta here!
Overall I'm firmly placed in the JW scoring system camp for this read.
I chuckled lots at the superfreak bootie calls. Airborne martini delivery system. Win!
However, I am going to stick with the minus 1 score because...
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
There was no Spook Me joke at the end!
I think Jael's rump needed a good spookin!
I mean really, what's a nice firm spook between consenting hornballs?
Thanks for the read!

Spookin Regards,
E.D.

This reads like one of those Scary Movie scripts. You know, characters doing dumb things in tense and horrific situations and the audience gets a laugh at how irrational and stupid they are.

The conversation between Josh and Jael just made me cringe all the way through. They talk like they couldn't live without sex for even one second. Many of the things they talk about went nowhere and I guess that's your staple. You tend to write dialogue heavy scripts.

Sorry, it's just not for me. Good job on completing the challenge though.


Herman

Thanks for the read, ED.  I appreciate it.

Yeah, as I said a few times, this isn't the final version...I was a bit inebriated and submitted the first draft.  The triple beat was deleted in the final.  Oh well.

Glad you were one of the few to get a few laughs.

Take care!

Sorry I missed your post, Herman.  Thanks for reading.

Sorry this didn't work for you.  It was obviously all a joke.  I don't like to hear that you cringed throughout all the dialogue, as that was supposed to be what you were laughing about.  Guess it didn't work for you at all, like it didn't for most.

Take care.

1 - Story: Yeah... It is what it is. Not as horrible as I feared given the other reviews.
2 - Filmable & Budget: Mmm... nope. Not even on a whim.
3 - Horror & Audience: Ghost tail... er, tale. PG-13 for adult content. Probably best executed as an animation, Southpark, Robot Chicken and Adult Swim come to mind. Criteria? We don't need no stinkin' criteria! However, it is a short story and not a sequence, which is appreciated.
4 - Technicals & Format: Laregly fine, except for your usage of elipses for interuptions.
5 - Title & Logline: Should have used "Tail" instead of "Tale" 'cause if you're gonna have fun - HAVE FUN, D@MMIT!. Logline needs the "unseen clock" segment ditched and Pomeroy hasn't been established as actually being evil, only ghostly and discontent.
General Comments:
A - I've read and understood your remarks about disliking double dashes versus ellipses. However, there are established and generally accepted format guidelines regarding these. (Only for you would I have ever invested the following time to hunt down amongst a sea of waste):
http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide  Page 52
http://www.scriptgodsmustdie.com/2010/02/format-8-ellipses-dashes/
http://www.empirecontact.com/readability/pointers.html
http://complicationsensue.blogspot.com/2009/03/i-have-to-dash.html
B - The pacing is herky-jerky and the "horror" part comes too late, but I'm not a watch-a-guy-set-up-dominoes suspense sort of guy.
C - I'm sorry you uploaded the incorrect PDF.    Bummer. But the Josh/Jael parody comes through just fine. Aside from the animation tack, I have a difficult time placing an appropriate comedy template on this screenplay. It's not SNL, In Living Color, Benny Hill or Flying Circus. I'm at a loss.
D -Favorite line:
Josh and Jael approach a closed door...the only closed door
on the floor...actually, it's the only door on the floor.
Nice.

Thanks for reading, Ray.

Funny, your favorite line was actually cut in the finished draft that was supposed to be posted.

I like my ellipses...I really do!

Take care!

Jeff,

I wanted to get to this script eariler than now. As you know I have been out of town for the last two weeks only checking in briefly from time to time. I have read several scripts I wish I had time to comment on but have not been able to.

You sent me over (what I thought)  was the final draft on this but when I gave this a read, the two are differient. Did I miss something? The other script had a lot of changes this one does not have. I've done that before.

Both are great as I told you in the emails. I thought you really went outside of the box and took it to silly times ten on this one. I don't know why you think you don't have a sense of humor. I think this ROCKED brother.

When a person reads something and thinks it might not be as funny as yourself, it doesn't mean it does not work, it simply means, the two levels of humor simply did not meet. Know what I mean? I for one am a BIG  fan of your style of both your DRAMA and COMEDY.

GREAT JOB Jeff! Take care brother.


Shawn.....><

Thanks, Shawn.  I appreciate it.

Glad you enjoyed it.  Wish more had.  Oh well.

Take care, brother.

Jeff,

I was going down the batches to see if I missed any major contributors - low and behold.  

Anyway, I was expecting something more horror from you given how active you were in the main OWC thread and since I figured you got all the piss out of you during the last OWC.  That said, I'm not sure what you were going for here.  A couple of the one liners were funny and I laughed at the goofiness of the script but overall this didn't really work for me.  The humor as a whole came off as routine and I just kept wondering why you elected to this instead of going all-out horror since that's what the challenge was.  I remember your Soul Shadow script with all the blood and sex and whatnot.  Where was that for this challenge???  

So - a job done anyway.  

Greg

I've been a bt slow on getting to someof these due to internet problems. Jeff, I could tell from reading this that it was written fairly quickly. Fair enough, so was mine.

It had its moments, but overall I didn't find it as funny as some of your other scripts. A good effort for a few hours work, or however long it took you.

Cheers,
Tim.

Greg and Tim, thanks for reading.

Sorry this wasn't what you were expecting or hoping for.

As I've said a few times, I was a bit upset with the way this OWC went down, and the limitations and ambiguity, and decided not to enter. On Friday, I decided that wasn't the way to go, so I tried to come up with something that would work, while still trying true to what I was originally joking around about...a whale.  Nothing clicked, and I decided to go the piss route.

It's apparent that very few share my humor, and that's most likely a good thing.  I, myself think this is quite humorous, and still 2 weeks later, am laughing at many of the lines.  Maybe that's cause I watch the show and see these 2 characters each week.  I don't know.

Thanks to everyone for plodding through this script.  No more pissers for me...hopefully!

Jeff -

I was a bit upset with the way this OWC went down, and the limitations and ambiguity, and decided not to enter.

Having reviewed I'm assuming most, if not all, of the October entries how do you feel A) the results to this challenge differed from prior challenges and B) about the range and quality of the submissions as a result of those differences?

TIA.  

I feel like most of these were the same story, based on the fact that the setting and characters were so limited.

Many of the entries did not adhere to the requirements. Some of the better ones totally did not adhere to them.

Quality-wise, I'd say this OWC was much like the others.  It did seem that many people got on it right away, which usually isn't the case.  I don't think that really meant that there were better scripts, on the whole, though.  Don't get me wrong, there were some good efforts for sure, but nothing that really blew me away.

IMO, the big problem occurred with all the questioning going on Friday night. The answers from Don were consistent, but didn't really address the questions, which in turn, caused more questions.

I realize I am as much to blame as anyone.  At first, I was totally messing around, as I thought the initial questions were ridiculous and completely uncalled for.  I became serious later on when Don said "No whales"...which meant, no "creatures" or animals of any kind, IMO.  I didn't think that was right, and it totally limited the what we could do with the scripts.

From there, I think people either wrote a standard script that adhered to the challenge limitations, or did everything they could to "bend" the rules as far as they could, which attributed to some far out, poor scripts.

This was not a favorite OWC for me in any way.  I don't like extreme limitations as it stymies creativity and makes for boring, been there, seen that, read that scripts.

Hi Jeff,

Apologies for not getting to this quicker - as in frickin' ages ago! I don't suppose what I'm going to add will differ much from what has been said but going into this as if a regular short and not a specific OWC entry, I honestly found it quite funny and wacky.
Not all the jokes were laugh out loud funny, the dialogue and non stop sex talk got old quick, but most of the action lines kept me amused even if I didn't get the triple beat gag.

As a quirky parody, with intentionally so bad it's funny characters, I found it well worth checking out.

The downside is if everyone else decided to adopt a similar attitude, one of " I don't like this idea so I'll just take the piss", wouldn't that damage the whole point of the exercise beyond repair and render the whole thing a waste of time?

All the best,

Malc

Thanks for the look, Malc.  I appreciate it.

Yeah, this didn't go over well, but I'm cool with that.  Glad you got a few laughs.

As I said earlier, I didn't totally take the piss.  I actually wanted to come up with something on Friday, but nothing was working, and I was determined to use my whale, and this is what came out of me.

Take care.

Haha, yeah to be fair it was an entertaining read and made me laugh a few times, especially having read some of the posts in the build up so I did chuckle when the skeletal whale was revealed.

Maybe I was being a little harsh with my last comment so I'll take that back.

Wrong or right, the idea is to entertain and this story did that for me so well done

"Don't you, you big, bad, bald, goofy stud, you?" The seriousness here just makes the script golden.

This wasn't laugh out loud funny on every sentence like Of Cannibals and Cabins but some of the dialogue still made me chuckle. "Climb over me like the dog that you are.  RUFF!  RUFF!  RUFF!"  

Sorry, Jeff! I was expecting more!

One question though, did you actually send in the wrong draft?

Yeah, I did, Mo.  Thanks for checking it out.  If you want to see the script that was supposed to be posted, I can E-Mail it to you.  Let me know.

Sorry this didn't quite work for you. It seems like no one is familiar with the source material here and that's a big problem.  These 2 characters are real life people on a SyFy TV show.  For me, at least, it makes it quite humorous, but then again, my sense of humor doesn't seem to be in line with most peeps ideas.

I appreciate the read and feedback, MO.  Thanks, man.