I'm getting so used to seeing almost perfectly written scripts that it comes as a bit of a shock to see a newbie in giving it a try. Very brave. I won't go into what's pulling me out of the script even before page 2.

I have read most of it, but I think that because you're so new and the script not as easy to read as it should be, that my attention is not sufficiently held to a degree whereby I can fathom wtf.

Got some potential.

The superhero gone bad, annoyed by his skill and lured away,by another.

Bull didn't make too much sense at the end, but I like the idea of another with skill needing a complementing power.

Needs a good tidy but I quite liked that.

The logline says this is a pisser but it didn’t read like one to me. I wanted to read each line, I wanted to know what happened next, it kept me gripped until the end.

The comedy was subtle, it had a Hancock vibe going through it. It needs work for sure.  Some confusing sentences and the ending needs a tidy up. I could do with being longer as it would be nice to maybe see a bit of Condor’s past from when he enjoyed being a superhero and how it ground him down until he was depressed. Lots of potential here, I enjoyed the read – well done.

-Mark

Not too bad. A lot of dialogue between Bull and Condor and it felt like the script needed a bit more action sequence to break that up a little... just seemed to be an overtly long conversation in the bank, especially given the whole story was done in 6 pages (which, of course is the challenge).

No really LOL moments for me, but a some wit came through.

Others have pointed out a couple of finer details that need tidying up.

A minus point for calling your script a pisser while it's just a straight superhero satire.

Otherwise, one of the better entries. I didn't really laugh but it has a clear way and structure. The ending was completely off and I don't know why you needed all 6 p here.

I guess the logline warned me. I liked the idea, and there was some witty banter, but it was also pretty long winded and eventually ran out of space. Probably not much I could say that you don’t already know.

Doesn't do it for me.  It has a few moments, such as "He tears his eyes open. Takes a moment to find his orientation." Dang, I thought. I could actually see this drunk with his eye lids hanging by a lash, or two. Oh well, I guess that wasn't meant to be part of the laughs.

There is a lot of talk in this tale. Pretty weak on action. It's like these two guys are in a bar or something. You might have the police call out periodically in the bullhorns. Maybe have Condor go to the front entrance and tell the police to shut the bleep up, while he negotiates for a surrender.
The ending was underwhelming. Bull seemed to know something of Condor, but not vice versa. Maybe suggest that these two guys team up and go crime crazy.  Who needs the islands?

Not a bad idea (villain talking superhero out of fighting crime), but not the best execution. Pretty uneventful for one. Also, if Bull had superpowers the whole time, why does any of this happen in the first place? He should've been in and out, really. Or was he trying to smoke Condor out and get him to join forces (in which case... why?)?

I'd propose two routes. One, you could simply up the action. Two, you could work on the dialogue and really try to develop the satire. Definitely a talking heads piece, but somehow I think it could work if you had some cleverer word sparring going on and dug deeper into what it means to be a hero vs. letting it all go.

Okay, I suppose, but very flat/underdeveloped.

Hey, sorry for answering late, been a little busy lately.

Thanks for all who read and commented. I don't understand why nobody got the ending - BULL's superpower is being BULLet-proof and being able to walk through walls, but he can't fly.