The Talk by A Clever Pseudonym - Short, Comedy - A young girl learns she has fantastic things in store for her. Fantastic, icky things. 6 pages - pdf, format

Writer,

Smartly written. Don't think you're going for gut busts here, and that's good. It's got a little heart, and some funny moments. And it hits a spot that's relatable to all women. Good job. My favorite so far.

Steve

I agree with Steve here, not entirely funny but very well written and enjoyable from start to finish.

I particularly  liked the ending although I saw it coming

Great job on entering

Nice one. Down to earth. A few chuckles. Super powers dealing with every day situations.
I liked it.

Yeah pretty good effort this. Seemed to well thought out and was written nicely.

Wasn't massively funny but Truck's line before Martha grabs him was a classic!

7 laughs out of 10

A Clever Pseudonym,

A nice punch at the end, but didn't really do enough throughout. Pretty well written though, just think more could have happened in this one.

Best of luck.

Glenn.

There’s a lot of talking setting this one up. I realise it’s called the Talk but it would have been nice to see her ancestors discovering their powers in funny flashbacks while mom gave her the talk. As it is, this means this story is low on the chuckle factor but it’s a good all round story and meets the criteria of the OWC nicely in my opinion.

-Mark

Well written, well thought out, well put together.

Alot of "talk" and not really a whole lot of funnies, but there's enough and your playful tone works in making this an enjoyable read.

Good job!

Another well written script that shows that the author knows what they're doing.

The ending was predictable - but that's okay - I think given the premise it had to end that way.

Not sure you needed all the  capped dialogue?

Not laughs for me - but a few smiles and that is good enough - it is a tough genre.

A simple little tale with an effective premise.  It was more well-told than funny, but I suppose there's only one way this really could have ended.  I would have liked a little more build-up in that last scene where she's discovering her power.  Kinda surprised there was no mention of an Aunt Flo in the family.

I liked this as an interesting take on coming of age dramedy.

It wasn't a laugh a minute, more gentle than that, but I liked that aspect of it.

Believable characters (well maybe not Truck) and some decent dialogue to boot.

Good effort

I thought it was good.  I found it funny.  It was cute.  The ending was a bit gross.  Why wouldn't the mom prepare her for "that" part of "that talk?"

It was good.  I can't say much more then that.  It had heart, was clever, again, the biggest issue was that it seemed like a joke done to a specific punch line.  That's my only knock against it.

7.5/10

This was very good. Congrats on a nice short!

Clever,

This was well written and entertaining, but it lacked punch and fizzled out at the end.

This was still one of the best scripts I've read so far, and I thank you for that.

Jordan

I thought this one worked pretty well. A lot of other scripts suffered from trying to be too wacky, and the fact you kept this more grounded paid off as the emotional element was more relatable, IMO.

One of the best I've read so far.

Nice work... a rec.

Really smart piece. No proper belly laugh moments but I'm not really caring for this one, funny enough throughout to let that go. Also some proper edgy comments from mom, liked the unsubtle "rag" line to the boyfriend

Well done!

Worked for me.  Not a lot of comedy but enough.  I'm not sure about being a super hero, but she does have super powers.

Very good.

An example of how comedy doesn't need to be burst out laughter rather enjoyable, with some amusing lines and images.

It also had some heart.

Well done. One of the best for me.

While the title fits to the script, it does not make what a title should do, awaken attention.
Why not choose something absurd and striking relating to your sub/theme menstruation f.e.. …

The build-up is very long and dialogue driven. In the last third the characters actually start doing something. I liked the last punch line. Better late than never.
I liked it but the construction and back stories that explain what happens in the family felt expositional wrong… don't force us to listen only, better guide us to see and experience.

Nice spin on a really familiar premise. The dialogue is serviceable and to the point, but a little flat and cursory for my taste, especially considering the weight of the conversation. Can't put my finger on it exactly, as I reread it a few times but couldn't say for sure. I wonder if it isn't a result of the page limit.

The ending works in the sense that it brings the story full circle, but I think it could've been handled better. I think it's hard to pinpoint exactly where it occurs in the chronology of the story, but it does feel like it occurs a little too soon after Amy and her mother have had "the talk." More than that, though, it's too neat, almost like Amy wills puberty into existence. Even for superheroes, I don't think it works that way. I'd have preferred a more awkward, unexpected revelation of her superpowers (for her more so than the audience). Might be worth looking into more after the challenge.

Alas... another one that's not funny. Also one that feels more like a drama. Yet again, cleverness ≠ comedy. Not bad in and of itself though.

That was funny and cute (I said it). I loved little Amy exploring her potential. Reminded me of a pubescent The Inredibles. For the cuteness of Amy you may edge the hampster hero but only by a a hair.

Liked this one a lot. A clever plot idea (all females are really superheroes, but not until they become WOMEN). The dialogue was good, the writing clean and crisp.  Good follow through on the premise and bringing it to a conclusion, even though we know what's coming.  Easily filmed piece, so great job here.

Verdict: Recommend

Gary