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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April 2016 OWC  ›  The Symbol - OWC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The Symbol - OWC  (currently 3822 views)
AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:56pm Report to Moderator
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Nice to have a Prince homage but personally was a little OTT for my personal tastes.

Wel written though.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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DanC
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 8:38pm Report to Moderator
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Killing villains since 1980!

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Dustin,
    Did you write this one?  

It was OTT.  It actually made me slightly uncomfortable.  And that's saying something.  

I can't add much more that was said.  I liked it, not as much as some others, but, it was okay.

7/10

Oh,  did you write this before or after he died?

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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RichardR
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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Didn't get through it.  Sorry.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 7:30am Report to Moderator
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Certainly different, so kudos for that.

Like Anthony I came away thinking this was OTT, even for the mighty prince. Wasn't sure exactly what is power was - fly, power, the ability to make a woman's ^&*(€£@ tingle??

Had the opportunity to mix in a few titles, like 'if I was your girlfriend' since this is all about prince

Quite liked the flower, but the sleigh passed me by as to what was funny.

All the best


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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IamGlenn
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 8:40am Report to Moderator
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:)

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Snatch McHappy,

Didn't do a lot for me. Didn't really find it funny or particularly interesting. Well written though, just not my cuppa T.

Glenn.


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cbead
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 9:15am Report to Moderator
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Right, think I'm needing a shower. Was a bit OTT but the raunchiness seemed to be an incorporation in to the script as opposed to in your face porn.

Clever wit and good writing. Nice job


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Dreamscale
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 9:29am Report to Moderator
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One of my last few...and received a PM to check this one out, so I'll try and be as detailed as possible.  Uh Oh...is that a god thing or a bad thing?  We'll see...

Starts out like a good writer is writing a pisser...but not trying to write poorly - as in the "pisser" parts will be the words and style chosen.

The intro of Ashley appears to be written seriously, but IMO, there is a problem that I see so often and just don't understand why writers keep doing this.  Ashley is intro'd in a "sentence" that's not a sentence,a s there's no verb and nothing happening.  The following sentence should be included to this intro with a simple comma.  It reads and looks so much better.

Ha! The thug passage is humorous, even though I'm not sure it's meant to be.  If they're wearing ski masks, how could anyone have a clue how old they are?  Also, love the line about 1 of the thugs only having his wits.  LOL!!

If she's deaf and the thugs have ski masks on, could she really see their mouths move to read their lips?  Funny, though!

"oriental shorthair in heat" - HA!  Hilarious!

LOL!!!!  Pretty frickin' hilarious!!!!

WILHELM SCREAM - LOL!!!  Funny shit...

"orgasmic juices" - Damn, bro...this is killing me!!!

"CLOSE ON: Prince's nostrils flaring."  Fuck...you're killing me!!  Haven't laughed this hard since last weekend when my girlfriend and I downed 2 bottles of Jagie in 1 day.

Almost every line is gold here.  Love the use of letters.  Love the hilarious dialogue.  Love the Susanna Hoffs ref.  Damn, man, fucking A!!!

Flashback is funny.  Insert is funny.  Dialogue is hysterical.

Love the ending, too.  Just am not a big fan of some of the action description writing on the last page.

My favorite so far by a country mile.  Hell of an effort and a great, funny tribute to Prince.
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Lightfoot
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 11:15am Report to Moderator
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Either you like it or you don't, I'm going to have to go with the later, written well and all it just not my type of comedy.
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alffy
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 12:10pm Report to Moderator
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I thought this was really funny; pretty much every line hit the nail. Not much else to say other than this one tickled my pink (or should that be purple?) lol.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Ryan1
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 12:54pm Report to Moderator
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I didn't find this nearly as funny as some of the others here.  A crazy tribute to a great performer, but somehow this story didn't follow through on the promise of the premise.  Prince as a purple crime fighting avenging angel is a hilarious idea, I just think it deserved a more imaginative execution.  

After seeing all these interviews the past few days with people that knew Prince, turns out the one thing he absolutely never did was curse, so that aspect would need to be revised.  Anyway, looks like someone had a lot of fun writing this and a lot of people seem to like it, so that's a good thing.
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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 29th, 2016, 9:14am Report to Moderator
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This story wasn't for me because of several reasons. It seems others liked it, so what…



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James McClung
Posted: April 29th, 2016, 9:31pm Report to Moderator
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With so much buildup, especially the emphasis on Ashley's reaction, I thought you could only be setting yourself up to fail with whoever this character might be... until Prince showed up. Indeed I think he's one of the few personas who could spontaneously elicit a puddle of... non-rainwater. After that, it gets pretty ridiculous... and still works solely because it's Prince. The Wilhelm Scream included (could've so easily been a stock gag).

Not my kind of humor, but somehow this won me over. On the one hand, it seems like a very fun, heartfelt tribute to a fallen legend. On the other hand... Prince was fucking nuts... like, not in touch with reality. None of what happens seems over the top in that context. It almost seems like an experiment to take Prince's larger-than-life world and focus it into a coherent through line, without compromising the madness.

...I don't even like Prince, so kudos.


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Vlade-B
Posted: April 30th, 2016, 4:52am Report to Moderator
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Okay, so I'm almost through reading most of the scripts. And for now I'm putting this at number one. I liked this one the most. It seems to meet all the rules and it made me laugh the most.

I didn't get the "Tuesday, no Wednesday"-joke. If it was one.

I like it.


Caleb
You tore up her picture.

Nathan

I'm gonna tear up the fucking dance floor, dude. Check it out.
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EWall433
Posted: May 1st, 2016, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Ha! Very good. The whole puddle thing makes me think it could only work as animation, so that’s how I imagined it and it came out very well. The only thing I don’t get is what Prince has against Jack Nicholson. Change that out for something that makes sense and this thing’s airtight, OTT fun.
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SAC
Posted: May 13th, 2016, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
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… but some dreams do

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Well, seeing as everyone's doing it...  


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