I don't really see this as fitting the OWC brief so well and it's all a little dense, not really funny either.

Sorry not one that floats my boat.

not too funny and very derivative.  Wasn't sure about the super power either, although a coat that shoots whiskey and ice would be a find.

I have not seen the Hunger Games so it is difficult to comment on the effectiveness of the spoof. I did find the page and half descriptions of the various participants a bit long and in my view - it derailed the story.

I've never seen the hunger games either... I'm also struggling with the Van Helsing description. Which Van Helsing version am I meant to be imagining? One from literature or perhaps film?

This is very well written. I'm just not feeling the subject matter.

Not feeling this one.

A Hunger Games parody. I love parodies.

Parts of it were entertaining. ANd I think the idea is good. Hunger Games - yeah, it's like all of them are supers in that movie. The movie is so far from being real.

The dialog was off from the very first lines - they were all exclamatory and excited - at least that's how they sound to me with all these exclamation marks.

The description reads clunky and heavy. I think you could get rid of couple of sections and focus on the main characters only. Just say that there are several sections and single out the main people within the section.

Too many sections - you go over them for two pages. That's a lot. And does it make the difference really?

The immense amount of description for the five tributes should be edited down and put into the mouth an announcer or something. Right now it’s nearly 2 pages that would probably run 30 seconds. Some of the visuals are amusing, but I’m very aware that the plot has just stopped for nearly two thirds of your story.

There’s some clever ideas here, but they’re too big for the 6 pages I think. As a result this reads like the bare bones version of a much larger story. As far as laughs, there’s a couple in there, but this is more of a dark satire than a laugh a minute comedy… not that I’m holding that against you.

Maybe this would have made sense if I was a fan of The Hunger Games? I'm guessing there's a few nods to that series. I'm not a fan at all though, and this didn't work for me either. The writing was ok, but I didn't find it amusing. All a bit strange really. Maybe that was the point. I really don't know though.

Best of luck.

Glenn.

This was better than I expected, given the title. Better than the actual Hunger Games even. Don't read too much into that. It's not hard to be better than the Hunger Games.

There seemed to be at least a fair amount of thought put into this. There didn't need to be, but it was much appreciated. I liked how each tribute (kudos on using the actual word) fit the respective drugs they represented and how each drug actually influenced the way they fought (no way was Melanie Mayhem gonna last ten seconds, for instance). You could've so easily employed a catch-all craziness for each character, which I actually kinda expected, honestly. I liked the ring too; reminded me of Escape from New York.

Beverages B was something of a fun character too, albeit the name is awkward. I could've done without the segway too (Paul Blart much?); better a skateboard or something. Still, something of a Robin Hood of booze. I dig it. The magic coat was silly, but it fit the tone, and the fact that I even bothered to ask questions like "How does he keep the ice cubes cold" enhanced the joke.

A little choppy though. A good few instances of awkward phrasing/word choices. I had to go back and reread one or two. Also... why are they doing this? There didn't seem to be any payoff for "winning" the Drug Games or any benefit to the society at large holding them.

Was definitely holding off on reviewing this one. Not *that* funny, but could've been worse. Much worse. Not bad overall, but the writing needs work.