The Drug Games: Catching Fire by 0 - Short, Comedy - When bum "Beverages B" is chosen as tribute for the annual Drug Games, only his whiskey-shooting coat can help him deal with the volunteering Cocaine Kid and other deadly hipsters.  6 pages - pdf, format

Is this an OWC script? I don't see the "OWC" beside the title.

Very strange...very, very strange.

I stopped at the "Van Helsing-like face" description.  No clue...really?

Well, lots of attempted humor, some sort of play on Hunger Games, and a bunch of weird bums.

Creative for sure, but far from my can of Mountain Dew.

Hmm, another pretty unique take on the theme. Well written with perhaps to much detail as I started skimming.

I didn't laugh at all but I'll give it a 2 for effort. Actually, no, I won't as that means I'm breaking my own criteria for review then, aren't I.

0 laughs out of 10

Couldn't find any humor in it. Actually I was turned off at the introduction of Beverages B but tried to slog further through it then i got to the introduction of the very stereotypical drug abusers at the games and completely lost interest.

Sorry. No laughs. Didn't care for this one.

I actually kind of liked this. In an absurd, stupid way it was sort of funny. The degree of seriousness given to the whole proceedings with the announcer actually giving lines like "Stay strong and may god give you the right drugs"... I dunno... maybe I'm high right now.

  

OUIET MAIN ROAD OF A TOWN... I'm sure that's suppose to be a 'Q'

so all the Inhabitants speak exactly the same line at the same time
I've never seen the Hunger Games but I guess this is a take on it.

Are these actual Superheroes?

It was creative with the different drug groups and not bad as a comedy, got a few laughs.

good job on entering

A non so subtle take off of Hunger Games ( I was loathe to say rip off). This was too busy for me, hard to read, hard to get the visuals in my head, obviously one of the many scripts that needed more pages to effectively work.

Couple of humorous parts but not really my kind of thing.

It was only a matter of time when I would come across a script involving drug and/or stoner jokes.
Look, I try to look past it, really I do. But most of the time, stoner comedies are not my jam.
Neither are jokes about LSD. Cocaine etc.

But y'know what? Some people would find stoner jokes funny, so alright. I'll give you that. But we still got a wee bit of a problem.

No superhero.
Just a mind altering buzz.

.

I am sure they could be funny, but, with all the drug problems of today, I just couldn't read on.

This reminds me of a movie that people thought was gonna be huge, then the day it came out, Jeffrey Dahmer gets arrested and no one wanted to deal with this movie.  

I wish I could recall the title.  In it, the tagline was something like where does evil dwell, in the flesh?  And it's about this guy who's in a terrible car accident who gets new arms and hands.  They begin to do odd things of their own accord.

Story unwinds as he learns that his hands came from a serial killer that had just been executed.  Each person given a part of this killer ends up dead by some crazy way.  In the end, the guy was still somehow alive and someone was trying to rebuild the serial killer.  It was odd.

Point is, just bad timing.

Dan

Read the first couple of pages and skimmed the rest. Poorly written in parts and was too weird to hold my attention.

The title had me intrigued. The logline was a bit of a mouthful.  

I see all the negative comments above me and I get why, but I think this would make a great fanfiction story. It’s an inventive spoof of Hunger Games. As a script it was a bit too descriptive for me and it didn’t seem to fit the parameters of a superhero, as I understand it anyway.  I did find the image of a bum on a Segway funny and you managed to squeeze a lot into 6 pages but that’s because it did read quite like a short story and in that aspect I did enjoy it.

-Mark

Well that was a bit mad! Not sure what to make of it, don't really get the superhero correlation, and it's a little bit messy, interesting idea though

that was quite a wacky one

I quite like beverages on his Segway. Interesting image. I didn't really buy into the booze from his arms but as a character getting booze and brining it to a community of bums, I think it has something. Kind of reminds me of a Coen film.

More of a pleasant read than funny, but I do like that character you have brought to life, except his name. Just call him beverages, drop the B.IMO

Ta

Writer,

Got your deal but not enough humor in it for me -- the kind that'll get me laughing. Nice attempt though, but a bit drawn out and anti-climactic.

Steve

I don't really see this as fitting the OWC brief so well and it's all a little dense, not really funny either.

Sorry not one that floats my boat.

not too funny and very derivative.  Wasn't sure about the super power either, although a coat that shoots whiskey and ice would be a find.

I have not seen the Hunger Games so it is difficult to comment on the effectiveness of the spoof. I did find the page and half descriptions of the various participants a bit long and in my view - it derailed the story.

I've never seen the hunger games either... I'm also struggling with the Van Helsing description. Which Van Helsing version am I meant to be imagining? One from literature or perhaps film?

This is very well written. I'm just not feeling the subject matter.

Not feeling this one.

A Hunger Games parody. I love parodies.

Parts of it were entertaining. ANd I think the idea is good. Hunger Games - yeah, it's like all of them are supers in that movie. The movie is so far from being real.

The dialog was off from the very first lines - they were all exclamatory and excited - at least that's how they sound to me with all these exclamation marks.

The description reads clunky and heavy. I think you could get rid of couple of sections and focus on the main characters only. Just say that there are several sections and single out the main people within the section.

Too many sections - you go over them for two pages. That's a lot. And does it make the difference really?

The immense amount of description for the five tributes should be edited down and put into the mouth an announcer or something. Right now it’s nearly 2 pages that would probably run 30 seconds. Some of the visuals are amusing, but I’m very aware that the plot has just stopped for nearly two thirds of your story.

There’s some clever ideas here, but they’re too big for the 6 pages I think. As a result this reads like the bare bones version of a much larger story. As far as laughs, there’s a couple in there, but this is more of a dark satire than a laugh a minute comedy… not that I’m holding that against you.

Maybe this would have made sense if I was a fan of The Hunger Games? I'm guessing there's a few nods to that series. I'm not a fan at all though, and this didn't work for me either. The writing was ok, but I didn't find it amusing. All a bit strange really. Maybe that was the point. I really don't know though.

Best of luck.

Glenn.

This was better than I expected, given the title. Better than the actual Hunger Games even. Don't read too much into that. It's not hard to be better than the Hunger Games.

There seemed to be at least a fair amount of thought put into this. There didn't need to be, but it was much appreciated. I liked how each tribute (kudos on using the actual word) fit the respective drugs they represented and how each drug actually influenced the way they fought (no way was Melanie Mayhem gonna last ten seconds, for instance). You could've so easily employed a catch-all craziness for each character, which I actually kinda expected, honestly. I liked the ring too; reminded me of Escape from New York.

Beverages B was something of a fun character too, albeit the name is awkward. I could've done without the segway too (Paul Blart much?); better a skateboard or something. Still, something of a Robin Hood of booze. I dig it. The magic coat was silly, but it fit the tone, and the fact that I even bothered to ask questions like "How does he keep the ice cubes cold" enhanced the joke.

A little choppy though. A good few instances of awkward phrasing/word choices. I had to go back and reread one or two. Also... why are they doing this? There didn't seem to be any payoff for "winning" the Drug Games or any benefit to the society at large holding them.

Was definitely holding off on reviewing this one. Not *that* funny, but could've been worse. Much worse. Not bad overall, but the writing needs work.