I've not read other comments on this one, apart from Stevie's at the start. At first I wasn't sure what to make of this one.

There's some good jokes in there, a few make me giggle. I was a bit lost with some of the references. Maybe reading it closer would make some of the lines a bit clearer, in meaning I mean.

It is filthy. But not so filthy as to offend me. I was just a bit surprised it wasn't a more usual superhero type character. Nevertheless, I laughed a few times. And that's the whole idea for this challenge.

R  

Couldn't really get into this one, maybe a few chuckles. I did laugh at the fake script author name you gave for some reason.

Not the worst of the bunch, but just didn't really work for me. The genie struggles to know a human when he sees one, yet has all the human references he keeps using. The story and the jokes just felt a bit contrived to me, and I couldn't buy that one hooker saying he's the best lover would lead to Hollywood stars sleeping with him in three days. Doesn't make any sense.

moderately funny.  there is a lot to be done with a Jinn, but this one breaks down to sex and a questionable super hero.

This one didn't work for me. Too much in too short a space, I think. If it's Herman's main goal, what he really wants, is to get laid, then start working at that point with Wish #1...the scenes with the vertigo and throwing up don't help him reach that goal at all. I did like the painfully short funeral speech, though.

Sarah Michelle Killer,

Skimmed through the last few pages. This one really failed to hold my attention, sorry. Also, the writing is pretty passive at times and there are quite a few mistakes.

Best of luck.

Glenn.

A green JINN, BAHMAT - (Arabian male, 40s, plump, Chris Rock type) - What a bizarre description. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Chris Rock is such a specific type, both physically and characteristically, to the point of almost not being a type, and is neither plump nor Arabian. I ended up just picturing Chris Rock as a disproportionately bloated green freak with the same voice... which made me laugh, though perhaps not for the reasons you intended.

Anyway, some of the ideas were fun. I'm not sure if the vertigo/puke gag was clever or stupid, but it made me laugh anyway. Just completely absurd. Read this last night, though, after a couple glasses of wine, so this is just how I remember it. The ending wasn't bad either, and I liked how you opted to be inclusive and include some men in the room as well.

A little aimless. It seems like the final wish was the real story here, and you could've made it work in six pages. Squeezed in at the end, though, it feels like a missed opportunity. Bahmat also seems like kind of an idiot, although I find that to be somewhat funny in and of itself, intentional or not. Something to consider though.

Meh. Fits the challenge. Got a few laughs out of it. Okay, I guess.

If ejaculating robbed your body of blood, I'd be dead a long time ago.  Wait...I mean I know a guy who would have been dead a long time ago.

This was a bit Bedazzled and a bit Deuce Bigalow, but a lot of strange.  It was all over the place and didn't make my nipples hard.

Congrats.

Jordan

Quoted from Nomad This was a bit Bedazzled and a bit Deuce Bigalow

Let's not say things we can't take back.

Some parts were good, some parts not so. The ending felt flat. Storyline felt too erratic, goals are not clear, and many repetitive dialogues. Still one of the better entries in my book

I read this one before it got cut down to 6 pages, but my critique stays the same. Too much meandering away from the main storyline here drags the attention away from the central conflict. Also, the story doesn't work well for me. If all he wants is a woman, then why not just wish for one in the first place? All the fixes I'd apply I already sent to the author before the OWC.

Well I didn't find it all that humorous. Not superhero but more 3 wishes.

The genie can see Hermann’s penis?

“BLINK. BLINK. EXPLOSION”

The writing is putting me off here.

“Where’s your penis?” … “Sheltie Island”

Okay, that made me laugh legitimately. But seriously, why didn’t he have a penis?

“...by the end of the week, you will have hollywood starlets and supermodels paying you to sleep with them.”

This is not how hookers work. And if it is I’m kinda pissed at not finding out til now.

“All his ejaculations led to him not having enough blood in his body.”

And this is not how ejaculations work. It seems his real problem may have been that he was ejaculating blood in the first place.

I think the funeral scene could’ve benefited from a eulogy given by someone who said nothing about anything other than Hermann’s sexual prowess. I know that’s how I want my eulogy to go.

This one was pretty scattershot. Good twist on the three wishes story, and could really work well with the kinks ironed out. Kinda veered away from the superhero part of the concept, though.

Found this one difficult to read. Not my type of comedy. If I were to say why then it would seem as though I hated it. Perhaps, I did.

Since all the votes are in, and quite a few others have outed themselves, I will do the same.

This was mine.

I wasn't actually sure I wanted to enter it.  The first draft came to 13 pages and all I could do was cut cut and cut some more.  I had to cut so much that I turned it into a pisser and a different story.

The concept is so different.  A clueless Jinn helps a geeky kid become a superhero, until he realizes what the kid really wants.

That was supposed to be the story.  But, I couldn't do any of that.  Ironically, all the negative comments wouldn't have been part of the story because they wouldn't have existed.

I plan to work on this and see if I can make it better.  I'm glad some liked it, a few really liked it, but, most realized there were major flaws.  I loved superheroes, and could have lived with comedy, but, 6 pages really killed me.  

There were some really good OWC scripts and I send kudos your way!!

Thanks to everyone who read it.  Oh, and yes, you can fuck yourself to death.  Something about the blood rushing to the penis can't go back to the body, which is why if you take viagra and you have an erection for more then 4 hrs you have to go to the hospital.

Oh, and it is possible to have a broken dick.  Yep.  Very rare, but, if you are having a hard on, you can have your dick broken.

Have a nice night thinking of that

Dan