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Good writing, quick and easy read and over the top rendition of Hollywood was fun. Just not enough laughs in here for me. But it was a well thought out effort!
The idea is clever, and the writing is pretty good, but it doesn't quite bring the laughs. I think perhaps that's due to the tone being a little too matter-of-fact. It's strange, because at first, I found that to be really refreshing, given how silly some of the other scripts I've read have been, but by the end, I feel like it didn't deliver much. The final joke doesn't work either. Didn't seem to fit the type of humor you've set and maintained from the start.
Also, are we to believe this is THE North West all grown up, or did you just think the name is funny? I have to wonder, given the Yeezus reference.
Anyway, okay, I suppose, but unremarkable. Solid concept though.
Like many could do with a tidy afterwards, in particular the ending could be reworked, but like the idea of a superhero being beholden and a company seeking to protect its investment
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Yeah, it's funny. Could work and look great on screen if someone takes a lot of money in hands.
Just curious about the whole trademark thing. Don't know what's legit in the satire-game…To me, such a spoof with a little social critique on companies should be allowed in any case. Good job.
I really liked this one, particularly the joke about Michael Bay storyboarding with crayons. Overall I thought it was a fairly clever lampooning of Hollywood and blockbuster superhero movies. If there’s one thing I’d like it’s a little more focus on Googleman himself. I like the gag that he wants to be a real hero but he’d be in breach of contract. I think if you brought up that desire earlier you could play off it more and create a little character arc (or a character arc interrupted for legal reasons).
Excellent. Very clever, with some work this could be great. Not sure how Google and Bing would feel about it though. Bing sounds a lot like Ming. Ming the Merciless, Bing the Searchless?
Anyway, as I said, very clever and well written. A consider... only not a rec, because it needs a bit more, but for 7 days effort this is great. Nice job.
This is very well written and pretty funny. Something I'd definitely have fun watching. It kind of reminds me of a South Park type story. A good thing for sure. Two things though; the ending is pretty weak. Maybe you were in a rush to finish up? And I would have liked to see Doctor Bing.
So I'm going to say something that will fly over almost everyone's heads here -- this reminded me of the old Dickie Goodman records from the 70's, where a reporter would ask someone a question and after the question you'd hear some little snippet of a popular song that somewhat (but not really) answered the question. I realize I'm a dinosaur for knowing about these records. Don't judge me.
But this script was a lot like those old records. Reporter asks a question and then you get a funny little snippet in response. Some of them were cute, some were funny, some fell flat. I actually got more interested at the end when there was some action taking place and there's a dispute over whether Googleman can save the day. That part was actually clever to me. Now that the contest is over, I would encourage you to go back to this and re-tool it, doing away maybe with the voice overs and focusing more on the build up to that ending.
I will say the writing was good and clean, but the story just didn't necessarily click with me.
Verdict: Pass, with reservations.
Gary
Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
So I'm going to say something that will fly over almost everyone's heads here -- this reminded me of the old Dickie Goodman records from the 70's, where a reporter would ask someone a question and after the question you'd hear some little snippet of a popular song that somewhat (but not really) answered the question. I realize I'm a dinosaur for knowing about these records. Don't judge me.
But this script was a lot like those old records. Reporter asks a question and then you get a funny little snippet in response. Some of them were cute, some were funny, some fell flat. I actually got more interested at the end when there was some action taking place and there's a dispute over whether Googleman can save the day. That part was actually clever to me. Now that the contest is over, I would encourage you to go back to this and re-tool it, doing away maybe with the voice overs and focusing more on the build up to that ending.
I will say the writing was good and clean, but the story just didn't necessarily click with me.
Verdict: Pass, with reservations.
Gary
Oh, thanks for the memory. I remember those back in the day. Wasn't one about the Jaws shark? It was really funny back in the day. God, I'm old.....
Where's my rocking chair and when am I gonna be sent to the glue factory? Or put in a corner where no one pays attention to me... Not sure which is worse.
Seriously, for you "youngings" go and check those out. They were wickedly funny. Half the fun was trying to figure out what songs were sampled. You think they're on youtube? I gotta check them out!!
I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!
Less talky talky more boom boom was funny. Otherwise ok but I think you could have capitalized on this more and had more superhero and still parodied MB
I wasn't going to read this, as I am beginning to think this Google thing might actually catch on. Me granny said, just the other day, hey you. Stop arsing about on the sofa. Yes, I'm talking to you.
She meant me! I was shocked. Usually she just brings me a boiled egg then starts moaning about the price of bread. Bless. Anyway, no boiled egg or bread today. Instead she says can I google how to change a bulb. At first I though she was taking the mick, in a big way. Nope.
Oh. I should be talking about the script. The giggleman thing.
Hmm. The writer of this doesn't write their scripts like I do. So they are obviously doing it all wrong and should cop themselves on. I mean really.
However, or but, whichever you prefer. I prefer the former. Or do I?
Er, where was I? Oh yes. The kitchen. The writer of this is obviously not bad. And that's a compliment in my kitchen.
Moving on. The writer has obviously done some research, which is always impressive. They've also actually bothered to come up with a structure. Now, there are some who make it up on the spot. What are they thinking? Probably quite a lot.
The riter also managed to get some realistic dialogue going. Never easy.
I should go into the negatives. But I really can't be bothered. As I can't see many and the plusses outweigh them. Plus, I have to go the shops and buy some eggs and bread. Fresh, obviously. Least I can do. Going now.
Where are my keys? Oh yes. I left them near the piana.