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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April 2016 OWC  ›  Not Today, Gucci - OWC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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SKN
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 10:29pm Report to Moderator
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I don't know man, I read almost all the entries by now and intend to finish them all, but this one I had to abort on page 3, not that my opinion matters. Sorry.
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cbead
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 10:59pm Report to Moderator
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To critique in the lexicon as presented:  Super Fucked


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RichardR
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
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lost me at page two.  Sorry.
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James McClung
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
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I have a feeling this reads exactly how the writer intended it to. I expect the comments do as well. No laughs from me though. Not much else to say, really.


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eldave1
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 7:56pm Report to Moderator
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Chaotic.

The writer set up a difficult task - to find humor in scenes where a pregnant woman is punched in the stomach, after delivery shot by the Doctor and a baby kicked out the window. I think that is an impossible task. Good job on entering.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Cameron
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 5:22am Report to Moderator
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Dear god that was a bit mental. Reading the comments I kinda feel embarrassed to admit that I actually laughed a few times, however I think that was more to do with how mad the whole thing was, rather than any actual comedy.

Absolutely bonkers, doesn't make any sense, not really my thing. Well done for taking the time to enter
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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 11:45am Report to Moderator
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I think the stuff with the birth almost offended common decency if you'd film that; though I forgave you that when you brought in Cozco that devilish poor soul from a previous owc. What can I say. I believe it or not that I've read this whole absurdity. Credits for weirdness. I definitely had fun with your psycho-gram here, giving us an insight behind the curtains of madness. So, I give you the last word and quote from the exquisite climax of your pisser:

"The Eyeless Nurse break dances her way out the window and soars away like an Emu."



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EWall433
Posted: May 1st, 2016, 9:20pm Report to Moderator
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I got a couple laughs from the first page, but something seemed off about the writing...

“Oh, fuck, I ran out of pages.”

Yeah, that’s about right. Thanks for playing.
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IamGlenn
Posted: May 3rd, 2016, 7:55am Report to Moderator
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Couldn't get through this one. Absolutely mental! But, for me anyway, not in a good way.

Glenn.


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cloroxmartini
Posted: May 8th, 2016, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
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          GANG MEMBR 2
What the fuck....?
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