Picking them from the bottom of the list.

Page 1.   Why capitalize CRASHES? Usually meant for specific sounds or items and actions important to the story.

Page 2.   Other than a bad storm, nothing horror or suspense going on and no vehicle in sight.

Page 3.   Around around...

Page 5.   You have slugs that are inconsistent. Not that I care, but some people here do.

INT. CHASE HOUSE - GREAT ROOM - MORNING

INT. CHASE HOUSE - FRONT HALL - MOMENTS LATER

Then simply DEN

FRONT HALL

Page 6.   Lots of chatting that does not further the story.

Also, more than halfway through and still no vehicle in sight and suspense is light, but we have some horror elements.

Finished. To be honest, IMO, the vehicle part wasn't really enough. What happened in the car could just as well had happened anywhere. In the kitchen, in the pool...

I also felt there was too much chatting about stuff that had nothing to do with the story itself. In a short, it's important to get to the meat asap. This one felt like a beginning sequence to a much longer script. There's no room for slow builds in a short, IMHO.

Very well written and GREAT dialogue, but the suspense need some work and I wished the car had played a bigger part.

Loved the dog and cat.  

I felt like this had a lot of potential. As I was reading it, for some reason it gave me a Stephen King vibe and I was really digging it, but I was also waiting for the vehicle aspect to show up.

We finally get into a car, but it's literally just to drive to one place then another. No other real creative use of it. I suppose you could argue that the beings are using our human bodies as vehicles but that's maybe a stretch.

Really well written and I was hoping for something a little bit more in the horror department. Invasion of the Body Snatchers vibe gives this more of a ski/fi angle. I like the "They rode the lightning" line, but I hated everything Bill said. I can't put my finger on it, but the coyness was a little eye-rolling for me.

I wanted more from the ending, I wanted more of a body horror Cronenberg vibe from this with the animals. Like maybe the invasion of the animal bodies rejects the beings or something, they could add to the lack of horror.

I liked it, but it left me wanting a lot more from it.

Excellent writing. Nice suspense as we build up to Austin's "conversion."  Too bad Jake and Mr Whiskers couldn't avoid the same fate. One question: is there any way to differentiate the gathered from the ungathered? In "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," the pod people were entirely devoid of emotion or affection, so it was possible to detect and avoid them. I don't see that possibility here, which you'd need in full script.

Okay...

Hell is capped erroneously.
Tablet? I thought for a minute he was holding a multi-vitamin.

Lots of set-up with the animals that doesn’t really amount to much.

Reads more like the start of a Feature.

On the tablet, his wife, DEBBIE CHASE, 40, and very
attractive, comes into view.
Hmm, could be phrased better. Delete 'and', a comma will suffice.

You can get rid of all those character Cont’s in your software.

Go easy on exclamation points! They lose impact if they're not reserved for high tension moments.
Example: I'm a little burned, very tired, and
missing my baby!

see you guys around around four. (Typo, duplicate word)

C'mon, Doggie. (No need for cap as Doggie is not his name) same with Brother, and Man. (below)

CHASE HOUSE - GREAT ROOM
Never heard of a 'great room', must be a cultural thing.

the slider, ??
Is this a sliding door? Ah yes, I see it prior. Must be cultural colloquialism too. We wrap chicken in those.  

AUSTIN
Get in here!

Again with the overuse of exclamation points.

The front doorbell rings, OS.
Do we need OS?

sticks a landing on a tall
cabinet, as Jake approaches on the run, barking madly.
I think that could be rephrased.

I don't know, Man.
No need to Cap Man, it's not his name and is used akin to 'friend', same with Brother unless he's suddenly a man of the cloth. You wouldn't Cap: buddy, would you?

Mr. Whiskers walks (Suggestion: use verbs other than boring, sedate 'walks') more pertinent to a feline, in this case.

https://www.thesaurus.com

Rain pounds down
How about keep it simple:
Torrential rain.

the cool decking
the big bed

Almost instantly,?
Bit like 'almost immediately.' I'm dubious of word qualifiers like this, and then:
the man smiles, winks

lightning lights up ( how about: illuminates)

as he lets loose a big yawn.
How about: he stretches, yawns.

Similar here:
Jake backs up, lets out a loud yelp.
Suggestion: Jake backs up, hackles raised, he yelps.

The big spiel with Bill’s hands?

The vehicle finally appears middle p.6 but doesn’t really encompass a scene of prolonged suspense.

The Range Rover comes to a sudden stop. Feels like you tried to create suspense with that sudden stop but I failed to see why he couldn’t have just kept driving to say that line – might even create more suspense if at that point he drives erratically.

Re his neck: We need to look at it.
We've already seen it.
Either: We need to get that looked at, or:
You need to get that looked at.

Bill rolls his eyes, smiles, looks to Austin.
(rolls his eyes and smiles, then looks) ?!
There's a lot of that going on.

Okay, I'll stop with the nit-picking but an overall cleanup is needed. You were probably under the gun to get your entry in.

You write descriptions very well in the opening. The images are evoked nicely. Loved the wind-chimes, could see the scenery and feel the atmosphere. I really enjoyed reading that and could picture it well.

I get the feeling that section was written at leisure and the rest in haste.

The stereotype characters just don’t appeal to me. The women are ‘extremely good looking’ and very attractive' and these characters are in their forties but act and speak as if they’re in their twenties:

Example:
Smell that? The boys have it going
on. Austin's amazing on his grill.

Really?  

I just think if you can write as you did in the opening you should be extending yourself to slightly more sophisticated fare.

Jmho, of course.

--I really like your title and your logline.
--The spacing is off on page one (drives me bananas)
--Page one does nothing but intro the man, dog, cat. In a short I'd love to find something on every page that makes me want to read the next. This one doesn't necessarily do it. Way too long describing.. the outside is just an establishing shot. Could do that with two lines and cut out half a page. Get to the story so the reader will want to keep reading. Like on page one we just got to see a storm and a guy sleeping. Get me?
--Page 2 we get to see Austin wake up. Yawn. And let the dog out. Gets a video call on tablet. That whole page could be reduced to three lines (sentences).
--OK HERE WE GO. If you could get us through the intros on page one and END page one with the SNIFF COYOTE SOMETHING SHOOTS INTO JAKE'S BELLY THING. Then WTF ... we are hooked and staying to find out WHAT that was. If I was a pro reader though, I would've stopped way before page 3 on this. You have to intro the characters and set the tone early on and hook the reader. This event is GREAT but needs to come at the bottom of page 1.
--Ok this story does have a lot going for it. I like how you left the end open. I love some of the things in the story but I see it a different way maybe. I think with a little more work this could be good. I am not sure what is the gathering. I mean I assume it's something alien come to take over or something evil? But it's never really explained. I think that Austin freaks on Bill but Bill isn't doing anything really freaky in the car ... anyway I did enjoy many parts of this story. I think it needs more work.
--Good job writer.

This is mine, as many knew.

Sorry so few seemed to enjoy it.

I started planning it out on Wednesday/Thursday and thought I was all ready to whip it out Friday, but the writing took longer than I had planned and I ended up having to skip date night with my girlie, and she was very, very pissed.

I was pleased with it.  Went for the suspense in the Range Rover, as we knew what was going to happen, but Austin was clueless, but knowing something wasn't right.

I always like a slow burn beginning, but it's apparent few here do, and I was quite surprised that some even jumped ship early.

Oh well.  I tried.  Thanks for the reads and feedback to all who did read it.

Dale Creams... Now I see it.

Quoted from DustinBowcot Dale Creams... Now I see it.

That was Don, not me.

Quoted from DustinBowcot Dale Creams... Now I see it.

Same thing applies to the writers of Protocol 25... Wonder if Don did that one as well

Not bad work. Starts at the pace of a feature, but since it's a short, maybe it might be better off moving quicker. For example, instead of taking almost half a page to describe a storm, maybe you could just say,

EXT. XXY
The mother of all thunderstorms.

INT. HOUSE
Thunder crashes so close the dog and cat lift their heads.

All we really need to know is big storm, dog, cat, character.

In a feature, we do need more time to set up the characters, as the writer does here. Maybe as this is a short a little less time could be spent on that. Not a criticism, this is competent feature writing set up.

The story itself works pretty well, again, if it's setting up a larger story. In the short, it doesn't create the level of tension needed(not quite) and the ending is ok but not surprising enough to linger in the mind.

It's good work. Like most OWC's needs another pass.

Thanks, Kev.  I appreciate your feedback.

I only read this because I thought it would be a pisser, and I fancied a good laugh... And to my surprise there's a really good horror hiding behind your humorous touches.

I really liked it.

Thanks, Rick.

It wasn't supposed to be humorous.

Must have been my expectations getting in the way...

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films Must have been my expectations getting in the way...