SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 29th, 2024, 4:04am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    August 2016 One Week Challenge  ›  Fair's Fare - OWC
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2, 3 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Fair's Fare - OWC  (currently 5691 views)
Don
Posted: August 13th, 2016, 8:40am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
Fair's Fare by Steven Clark writing as Phil DeGraves - Short, Comedy - An unsavory mechanic cuts a corner that won't cost him his life but, by golly, he just might wish it had.  9 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  August 31st, 2016, 4:49pm
Revised draft
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
CindyLKeller
Posted: August 13th, 2016, 10:40am Report to Moderator
Old Timer



Posts
1467
Posts Per Day
0.20
Fiirst off, congrats on completing the challenge.

SPOILERS

Def a new up to date take on the old  Christine.
The  mechanice got what he deserved.

Scene heading for EXT. TAXI  bothered me.
He's already heading across the parking lot. You could have used a mini-slug. Just plain old TAXI.

Other than that, nothing bad to say.
Congrats,
Cindy


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 44
Hunter
Posted: August 13th, 2016, 12:45pm Report to Moderator
New



Location
WA, USA
Posts
121
Posts Per Day
0.04
Well, that was an interesting one. Definitely funny, and a nice little moral to the story there.


I would love feedback on any of these!
Back to Class: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1453330945/ (comedy series, RECENTLY UPDATED DEC. '16)
Cause & Effect: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1472594865/ (comedy-drama series)
Waking Up: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1452376264/ (comedy series)
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 44
AnthonyCawood
Posted: August 13th, 2016, 4:29pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
UK
Posts
4319
Posts Per Day
1.14
Liked this and well written... felt that some of it went over a line, but that's probably just my line

Good effort.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 3 - 44
irish eyes
Posted: August 13th, 2016, 4:43pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group


There`s too much blood in my alcohol

Location
Upstate New York
Posts
1865
Posts Per Day
0.37
Funny in places and well written.

Enough mechanic innuendos to keep it going lol

It's a nice change from all the murder in a taxi scripts and a great use of the smartphone... it REALLY resonates with the 'now' 21st century feel

Good job on entering and remember to read other scripts.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 44
stevemiles
Posted: August 14th, 2016, 6:32am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Posts
745
Posts Per Day
0.16

Well, different…  

A fast eight pages and a unique take on the challenge which is no bad thing.  If I had one suggestion I’d switch the smart-phone to something that connects more to the vehicle itself -- like an onboard computer or the like -- as the phone feels a touch removed.  Pretty gross but entertaining.  


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 5 - 44
nawazm11
Posted: August 14th, 2016, 7:00am Report to Moderator
Been Around



Posts
945
Posts Per Day
0.21
Well, ahem, uhh... You know, this wasn't too bad -- funny, outrageous, disgusting, a nice rounded story. I quite liked it, which probably says more about me than the actual script.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 6 - 44
SAC
Posted: August 14th, 2016, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

Location
Upstate NY
Posts
3201
Posts Per Day
0.79
Writer,

Not a bad entry at all. Well written, quick pace. Didn't take up much time and got to the point. Even had a bit of a message in between all the grossness. Only nitpick is it felt like it might've been rushed in places, but I'll chalk that up to time limitation. I feel with a little more effort you can tidy this up and make it shine. Easy to film too.  Still, one of the better entries so far. Everyone got what they deserved. Good job!

Steve


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 44
khamanna
Posted: August 14th, 2016, 4:39pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Posts
4194
Posts Per Day
0.79
This is a very nice story. Well told to.

There's a point to this and you managed to get the message across. Great job.
I kind of wished she told Guy she was Becky, then the name of the taxi came up in conversation with Floyd.

I liked the last line too - funny.

Great job.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 44
wonkavite
Posted: August 14th, 2016, 5:24pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Dag, I love this one!  Cheeky, funny, well written - and just the *right* amount of innuendo - without it being forced.  So far, one of my top OWC submissions!  )
Logged
e-mail Reply: 9 - 44
MarkRenshaw
Posted: August 15th, 2016, 2:33am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
UK
Posts
2335
Posts Per Day
0.59
The first one I've read of this OWC and I really like it. It's a bit OTT in parts but nothing to worry about. A horny version of Christine!

The title is a fantastic reflection of the story. There's some great descriptions in there, I particularly like, "She unzips the top of her overalls, revealing two swelling wonders tucked into a tight blue bikini top."

It's a nice all round story with a good beginning, middle and end. That's really tough to pull off in a OWC so top marks from me on this.

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 10 - 44
Stumpzian
Posted: August 15th, 2016, 11:07am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
North Carolina
Posts
662
Posts Per Day
0.18
This one clicks on all cylinders. Topnotch.

Henry



Logged
Private Message Reply: 11 - 44
Cameron
Posted: August 15th, 2016, 12:41pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



This one's an absolute pisser. Good solid writing and a completely out there turn on the original theme of the challenge. I never thought of a dildo when writing mine, I still can't believe I've read one of these with a dildo in it but hey, it's there!

Had me laughing, great visualisations and really creative. Good work.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 12 - 44
DustinBowcot
Posted: August 15th, 2016, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



I found the writing a little bland to begin with... but it picked up. I like this because it's fresh and I can see it doing well at festivals. Don't give it away to just anyone, make sure they can do it justice. Good luck.

A rec.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 13 - 44
stevie
Posted: August 15th, 2016, 3:49pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



Location
Down Under
Posts
3441
Posts Per Day
0.61
For some astonishing reason this well written piece of comedy didn't do much for me lol.

Great idea and concept but I read it - didn't laugh - nodded my head and that was it!

Sorry to be a party pooper - Pass



Logged
Private Message Reply: 14 - 44
 Pages: 1, 2, 3 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    August 2016 One Week Challenge  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006