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Fair's Fare by Steven Clark writing as Phil DeGraves - Short, Comedy - An unsavory mechanic cuts a corner that won't cost him his life but, by golly, he just might wish it had. 9 pages - pdf, format
Def a new up to date take on the old Christine. The mechanice got what he deserved.
Scene heading for EXT. TAXI bothered me. He's already heading across the parking lot. You could have used a mini-slug. Just plain old TAXI.
Other than that, nothing bad to say. Congrats, Cindy
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
A fast eight pages and a unique take on the challenge which is no bad thing. If I had one suggestion I’d switch the smart-phone to something that connects more to the vehicle itself -- like an onboard computer or the like -- as the phone feels a touch removed. Pretty gross but entertaining.
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Well, ahem, uhh... You know, this wasn't too bad -- funny, outrageous, disgusting, a nice rounded story. I quite liked it, which probably says more about me than the actual script.
Not a bad entry at all. Well written, quick pace. Didn't take up much time and got to the point. Even had a bit of a message in between all the grossness. Only nitpick is it felt like it might've been rushed in places, but I'll chalk that up to time limitation. I feel with a little more effort you can tidy this up and make it shine. Easy to film too. Still, one of the better entries so far. Everyone got what they deserved. Good job!
There's a point to this and you managed to get the message across. Great job. I kind of wished she told Guy she was Becky, then the name of the taxi came up in conversation with Floyd.
Dag, I love this one! Cheeky, funny, well written - and just the *right* amount of innuendo - without it being forced. So far, one of my top OWC submissions! )
The first one I've read of this OWC and I really like it. It's a bit OTT in parts but nothing to worry about. A horny version of Christine!
The title is a fantastic reflection of the story. There's some great descriptions in there, I particularly like, "She unzips the top of her overalls, revealing two swelling wonders tucked into a tight blue bikini top."
It's a nice all round story with a good beginning, middle and end. That's really tough to pull off in a OWC so top marks from me on this.
-Mark
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This one's an absolute pisser. Good solid writing and a completely out there turn on the original theme of the challenge. I never thought of a dildo when writing mine, I still can't believe I've read one of these with a dildo in it but hey, it's there!
Had me laughing, great visualisations and really creative. Good work.
I found the writing a little bland to begin with... but it picked up. I like this because it's fresh and I can see it doing well at festivals. Don't give it away to just anyone, make sure they can do it justice. Good luck.