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You started with Sal eating pizza, then switched to Sal meeting Candy man and talking about matters that seemingly don't matter. I stopped understanding what you are leading up to. Then he meets this Italy lady and their conversation is nothing important as it looks to me.
I liked the writing in here and all the descriptions though. But they wouldn't be filming that.
It's another one where half the time seems to be spent outside of the cab, and then I'm not really sure Sal's stuck there apart from at the end. It was creative, but just bonkers and a bit all over the place.
Anyway, I'm sure some people will get this angle, just not me unfortunately.
well that was interesting to say the least and I like that as the scripts were starting to become repetitive. I also liked that you didn't spend the first minute in a taxi.
Well written
Good job on entering and remember to read other scripts
You lost me around page 4. The writing is good but then it gets monotonous. This writer is too in love with their own vocabulary. Trying too hard and it shows.
This one is like reading an issue of Heavy Metal while poppin tabs! I love the visual style it's told in, and I'm sure all of this makes sense in the world it's written for. Not this world, of course. It adheres to the challenge parameters, and it's unique. Seriously, if you visualize animation more while you read this, I think, you'll get much more out of this. I can't comment on it story-wise because I'm not entirely sure what was happening all the time, but I was with it till a point. Seems like this is indeed geared towards more of a sci-if, graphic novel type deal. Overwritten in places with some absolutely bizarre passages -- Tony Danza?! Good effort, good writing -- nice job.
Writing feels familiar... Distinct. The writer knows what they want the reader to see and has fun delivering it. Can’t see it working for everyone, but the form follows content and that works for me. As long as the story/action remains clear and engaging I’m invested. And to be honest I was really getting into this but the idea just got away from me at the end.
I enjoyed the ride but I feel like I just woke up in the backseat and I’m not sure where I am. I don’t know what a Squiggle is or why they’re considered dangerous - or really what Bambi’s role in this is; a driver? Squiggle hunter? Memorable, if only cause I wanted more. Interested to see the writer’s input.
First female cabby in twelve scripts… Kudos for that alone.
‘...his eyes pop over its stretched mozzarella.’ Love this.
My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:
WTF? A pisser? Someone on acid, tripping while writing? Just stupid shit?
No clue...absolutely no clue. Most likely an inside joke that few are going to get or give a shit about. Looks like the writer is having fun, though, trying to impress, but impress this won't do. It's annoying and a waste of time.
based on other comments, sounds like it doesn't even attempt to meet the challenge.
I reckon you put a lot of work into this. Biggest problem I had was that every character's dialogue was a bit too slick. I think unique dialogue really works for one character when it's in contrast to other more conventional character's dialogue.
Same goes for your descriptions too. It's great to play around with words but you'll impress us when we don't notice the effort. At the moment the 'work' is eclipsing the story. I confess to skimming through a lot, not knowing what the heck was going on, taxi driver seemed like a secondary character and I'm not sure if anyone was trapped.
Story intrigued me in the beginning with the government broadcast but then went on a lot of detours.
You did make me want pizza.
Edit: Took my last line out cause I sounded like a condescending you-know-what.