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For me, this one's a guilty pleasure. Sort of a Blade Runner-Roger Rabbit-Fear & Loathing dream in 7 pages. I have to give the writer his due. Five electric goldfish.
This one reads like an inside joke that I'm not privy to, and frankly I don't care to be. It reminds me of incoherent acid trip and just as entertaining, man. Not my cup of drugs.
I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!
Too over the top for my tastes and 3 references to real people as descriptions (Pacino, Lee, Danza) left me wondering why the short cuts given the extraordinary descriptions everywhere else. It's a script on steroids without a story on steroids. Not sure if that makes sense or not - anyway - not for me.
Wow, great writing until, IMO, Sal got in the cab. I totally didn't get it, but was -mostly- entertained anyway. Would love to see coherent works from this writer!
Your logline horrifies me. I can't imagine what type of despair would come over me if i realized i was done with pizza.
This is already overwritten. I appreciate what you are attempted, b/c the writing is fun and you're trying to break the mold from the usual boring prose... but it's still overwritten. Sometimes confusing.
I can't get into the way these people speak.
I don't like to do this, but I'm bailing. I've had to read back a bunch of lines and I'm just not into this stylized, manic world you're building. Not my cup of tea, sorry.
I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.
"Career" Highlights -2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page. -One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back. -I have made more than $1000 with my writing! -I've won 2 mugs... and a thong. (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)
Points for originality. Points for having the guts to even write this and put it out there knowing some people are gonna hate it. I honestly couldn't get through it. But if someone filmed this and I watched it on ecstasy I'd probably think it was the greatest thing ever.
I rarely do this but I bailed on page 4 when the animated character appeared. It reads like a pisser but it can't be, as the document filename says this is revision 4 of the script, who would do 4 drafts of a pisser? I suspect this may be an existing script you added a taxi to, as it's so bonkers adding a taxi would make no difference to the story.
There's wonderful imagination and literary skills on display but it seems more suited to prose than screenplay. Totally unfilmable in my opinion, even as an animation this would cost a small fortune.
-Mark
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