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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...     General Chat  ›  Scriptshadow Scripts/Interviews/etc. Moderators: bert
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 10:35am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Can certainly see why the writer would be signed.

Very Hollywood story. Very American, melodramatic, strong tension, exciting finale mixing two great american stables...the West and Gangsters.

Strong writing throughout. Definitely one of the better scripts I've read, overall.
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leitskev
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 10:39am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Reading the script now: did they say "mother f*cker" in 1918?
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sniper
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 12:21pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
Disciple Program got sold and Marky Mark is attached to star in. As a writer, I'd be pretty happy with that.

I would be too if I had just written an overly long, new-antagonist-every-ten-page knock off of The Manchurian Candidate. Okay, I could probably live without the Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch attachment - not exactly a stigma of quality.

My problem with his Carson's praise for The Disciple Program is that the script lacks the basic things that Carson keeps droning on about. GSU. Goal, stakes and urgency. Okay, it's got the goal nailed but there's zero stakes and zero urgency, and that - in my opinion - made it a fairly pedestrian read.

This is not to put the writer down cos' the dude can write. No question about that.



Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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kingcooky555
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 12:53pm Report to Moderator
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Anyone got "On CArnival Row?"

I read "Desperate Hours." I don't know if it's genius, but it's really good. Extremely long setup for the action to start, but I think it's deliberate.

The payoffs are good in the end. Good mashup of a Western, Historical, Drama and action.

Actually, they did not say "mother f**ker" in 1918. There is a Boardwalk Empire episode where Nucky Thompson is confused when Chalky says mother f--.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 1:11pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Yeah, genius is stretching it a lot. It's basically a more high octane version of High Noon with a bit more of an optimistic viewpoint of humanity.

It's good though. It's one of those archetype scripts that follows the rules very well:

Clear POV
Clear genre
High Stakes
Building Tension
Classic B Story (Love interest)
Strong Character Arcs
Traditional Structure
etc

The kind of script the gurus tell you to write, but few do.
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Gage
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 1:39pm Report to Moderator
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Funny, he wasn't even going to originally review this one today.  Another script fell through and this was the replacement.

Looking through it, it seems pretty great.  I'm not sure if it's the messiah of screenplays he's hailing it as, but I haven't given it an in-depth read thus far.


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leitskev
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 1:55pm Report to Moderator
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Finished the script. Maybe will add more later after some thought, but for now: good read, will make a decent, modest budget film.

Genius? I don't know about that. But to be fair, I'm not sure I know what genius is in the world of scripts.

The story takes a familiar form, based on the old westerns where one man sticks up for good in the face of evil, in the hopes that the cowering townspeople will eventually find their courage.

I'm not sure it brings anything new, but it's an entertaining tale well told. The characters were well drawn though not all that interesting or memorable.

It takes a very long time for things to get going. The first half of the script is carried entirely by mystery, with no threat. The second half is carried mostly by threat.

Warning to Jeff: there are asides like you wouldn't believe! Even I thought it was a bit much, though it didn't effect my opinion of the script.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
Can certainly see why the writer would be signed.

Very Hollywood story. Very American, melodramatic, strong tension, exciting finale mixing two great american stables...the West and Gangsters.

Strong writing throughout. Definitely one of the better scripts I've read, overall.


Hey Rick!

Afraid I crossed up the wires here...

This is the post that led to an amateur writer being signed by WME this week...
http://scriptshadow.blogspot.com/2012/08/amateur-friday-keeping-time.html

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Ryan1
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 2:50pm Report to Moderator
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Kev,

Could you shoot me over a copy of the script?  Thanks.
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CoopBazinga
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
FLASH: He has announced that the script he will be reviewing today, Desperate Hours, is the first he has awarded "genius" grade in 3 years. If someone wants to know where to find the script, message me.


Would you mind sending me a copy, Kev? Thanks.
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nawazm11
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from sniper
Hopefully it's better than the last BIG THING he raved about, The Disciple Program. That script, while certainly well written, turned out to be a real snoozefest.


From the comments, I doubt it is better. TDP was really overhyped and I think that's what ruined it for me.

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leitskev
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 8:44pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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One thing we have to keep in mind is how hard it is to write a really good script. I mean, how many have you read?

Carson reads a lot of scripts, so I think he has a sense of how inadequate most are. When I read the Disciple Club, I saw many flaws. But compared to the overwhelmingly majority of amateur scripts I've read(and the writer of TDC was amateur), it was very good work.

The last year I've finally gotten serious about watching movies. And most of them are pretty flawed too. So this is tough.

BTW, I recently read and carefully recorded the beats for The Wrestler. To me that's an example of a great script. The structure, which is decidedly not STC, is spot on.
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nawazm11
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 9:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
BTW, I recently read and carefully recorded the beats for The Wrestler. To me that's an example of a great script. The structure, which is decidedly not STC, is spot on.


In recent years, a lot more movies don't follow the STC structure. Only in comedies and some thrillers or horror, you would see it but most of Aronofsky's movies, it isn't present. But I think with that, you get a dud ending where nothing really happens. The Wrestler's ending is very debatable.

Atonement is also a great example of this and is hands down the best screenplay I've ever read. If anything were to receive a genius, that would be it.

Anyway, back to track.
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leitskev
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 9:53pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Do you have Atonement still? I would like to read it, based on your recommendation.
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nawazm11
Posted: September 12th, 2012, 11:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from leitskev
Do you have Atonement still? I would like to read it, based on your recommendation.


PM'd you.

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