Quoted from leitskev Only requirement: you have to post your thoughts here after reading! JK, but we'd love to hear what you think.

Kev, I'll be honest, I was a bit underwhelmed by Outside the Wire?  But who the hell am I to say that? I didn't actually get pulled in enough to read it all.  While I think there's always room for more lead female characters, I couldn't get all that invested.  As you and ED have said, there is a sense of familiarity with the many Hollywood products set in Iraq.  I kind of thought the opening scene was a bit cheap -- oh she has a kid -- we must automatically love her. Maybe I'm just too damn cynical.  Also, I think I've seen/read enough shoot outs behind vehicles on dusty desert roads to last a lifetime.

This is a personal opinion on story, however.  Not a criticism of the writing style, which was fine.  I can see why it did well, but a little surprised it did that well. Good luck to any writer who does well in that competition, because as you have pointed out it's an Everest to crack.

Outside the Wire didn't blow me away at all. In fact, I think some writers on this site can just as well write something of equal quality. I think it shows how luck does play into the Nicholl contest. I think if you can crank out three quality scripts. Enter it and pray to the gods you win the reader lottery.

On another note, if anyone was able to download the Nicholl scripts that were taken down, can someone send it to me? I remember I opened one with a fancy cover and blatant formatting no-nos in the first ten pages. Looked cool though.

Basket, you raise what I consider an interesting point, and something we should all think about. Maybe even think hard.

I understand your reaction to the opening scene. Totally. As people who read scripts, we understand what the writer is doing, which makes it feel predictable and routine.

However, I do think that it might be wise to do these kind things in your script. As writers we see through it, we know the writer is trying to quickly and cheaply make us sympathize with the character. But will the average film audience see it this way? And is there really a way around doing things this way?

For example, let's say we want to introduce the character, Ramirez I think, and we want the audience to like her. We only have a page or two to build this bond with the audience. What can we do that will not be overly familiar to other veteran writers or film buffs? It's tough.

Don't get me wrong, I hear what you're saying. And I really respect it on those rare occasions when the writer really can come up with something unique. I'm just saying it's pretty tough to do in limited space. I think when a writer can do that, it elevates his script to a higher level, perhaps to impressive. But if the writer uses a technique like this, I can still live with it, especially in an action thriller, where character depth is less priority.

Curious what you think of this.

Finished the "Outsider". I thought it's a perfect example of taking an overused concept (i.e. gangsters) and putting it in a different world - in this case post WW2 Japan. I'm sure there are thousands of "Godfather" knockoffs and with the Sopranos, it's almost impossible to create gangster movies about the Mafia. One would need to go the Outsider route (Yakuza) or something else like City of God (favelas).

Looks like the Yakuza/Triad/ Asian gangster thing is hot right now. I think they're making a series about Chinatown and kung fu over AMC. Outsider definitely worth a read - great example of taking tried/true/maybe cliche gangster storylines and putting a foreign spin on it.

Quoted from leitskev Basket, you raise what I consider an interesting point, and something we should all think about. Maybe even think hard. I understand your reaction to the opening scene. Totally. As people who read scripts, we understand what the writer is doing, which makes it feel predictable and routine. However, I do think that it might be wise to do these kind things in your script. As writers we see through it, we know the writer is trying to quickly and cheaply make us sympathize with the character. But will the average film audience see it this way? And is there really a way around doing things this way? For example, let's say we want to introduce the character, Ramirez I think, and we want the audience to like her. We only have a page or two to build this bond with the audience. What can we do that will not be overly familiar to other veteran writers or film buffs? It's tough. Don't get me wrong, I hear what you're saying. And I really respect it on those rare occasions when the writer really can come up with something unique. I'm just saying it's pretty tough to do in limited space. I think when a writer can do that, it elevates his script to a higher level, perhaps to impressive. But if the writer uses a technique like this, I can still live with it, especially in an action thriller, where character depth is less priority. Curious what you think of this.

Kev, to be honest, it's not the actual scene that's a problem -- more the placement of it. It was the fact that it was the opening scene that kind of made me roll-eye slightly. I agree though, these things should be used were appropriate if it gives the character a semblance of depth in the shortest time possible. I didn't finish the script, but do hope that the kid in question does become a part of the plot.

Hey Basket

It did not become a part of the plot really. But this is how he used it. Later, when she is on the run from the bad guys, whenever she gets a chance to use a phone, she makes a quick call home. Basically the writer uses it increase the stakes of her death and make sure we care what happens to her.

It's a cheap writers trick, but writers have to consider using them. Every pro in every profession uses tricks. Especially in entertainment. Whether you're in a rock band, or you're a director, a DJ, a comic on stage...you use tricks that work with the audience.

The risk with tricks is that the audience will see through them. The more astute the audience, the more they'll see through. Writers will see through things like this in film pretty easy. I think the key is to keep it so the general audience does not see it as a trick.

Zombie Resurrection
Horror/Comedy
When an experimental male-enhancement drug turns all the men in town into sex-crazed zombies, it's up to a rag-tag band of women to survive the assault and stop the epidemic from spreading.

I saw this log on the blog and couldn't help wondering if Stevie wrote it.

Kevin

Do you have one in there?

Quoted from leitskev Zombie Resurrection Horror/Comedy When an experimental male-enhancement drug turns all the men in town into sex-crazed zombies, it's up to a rag-tag band of women to survive the assault and stop the epidemic from spreading. I saw this log on the blog and couldn't help wondering if Stevie wrote it.

I like the idea.
Are there any Simply Scripts loglines there?

Judging by this thoughts on this logline...
I doubt I could get him to read Zombie Playground.
Oh, well. LOL. I've got more.

Regards,
E.D.

I don't recognize any SS scripts in there. Last time he did this there were 3 I think.

No, Bill, I don't. I've actually never sent him a log or script. My work isn't good enough, so I don't think the 'wasn't for me' will help my career.

Brett, Carson has said often that he does not care for comedy scripts. And I guess the truth is even really funny movies probably have not so funny scripts. Comedy really depends on what the actors do with it. Though Zombie Playground is more situational and should be less dependent on the actors interpretations.

I didn't like any of the logs he listed, except maybe the zombie one. That sounds like it could be a funny film. I think it could work with a feminist audience. That's how they see the male world anyway, zombies with permanent erections! And now they'd get see some b!tches kill them!

Zombie ResErection.  Gotta spell that title right, lol.  Just read this and its actually not bad.  Writer has a sharp sense of humor and knows his format and structure.  It's kind of a one-trick pony with its visual gag of zombies with raging boners.  And the story began to run out of steam in the second half.  But I did laugh at quite a few of the lines.  I could picture this as a Troma vehicle.

Quoted from Grandma Bear That's what I said in my comment after reading the first 10.

Lol, yeah the concept of a horde of horndog zombies isn't exactly new:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7b266f28c7/attack-of-the-masturbating-zombies

Tired of the same old zombies movies....I say if you are going to write a zombie script...don't have 'em chase us around screaming brains! Give 'em someone their own size to pick on: gangsters, drug lords, vampires, werewolves, or aliens! lol

We need a hybrid

Read the first ten of that Pocket Dial script.
Couldn't figure out what all the small talk dialogue was about.
Kinda surprised some thought this was pick worthy.
Did anyone else give it a shot?

Regards,
E.D.

Couldn't get past the back and forth dialogue ....