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You are absolutely right. If you read a script, you should definitely read it as it is written; however, it is mentally impossible to not allow your mind to wonder how it could be better.
I assume anyone who read my script and glanced over the nakedness issue thought it would be a better script if that was fixed. All it takes is an action line. I assume they liked the story and the atmosphere despite the awkwardness of characters walking around naked when joined by a visitor.
I would hope that anyone reading would tell me to fix that rather than just pretending the mistake is not there. Even if you think I did it on purpose and disagree with it, please tell me you disagree with it. I'm not asking you to cut me some slack. Quite the opposite... Complain about it. Start threads about what a stupid choice it was. Help me fix it.
Just as I didn't close your OWC script at the first sight of Kimmie May's exaggerated dialogue, I would hope a simple fix such as naked characters wouldn't cause you to give up on a potentially intriguing story.
I understand from your comments taht you didn't dislike my script, as I didn't dislike yours. I'm just using our scripts as specific examples of places where people forgave mistakes because they saw something more. People forgave Kimmie May's dialogue as they forgave my character's nudeness. They certainly didn't fail to mention it in their notes though.
All the best. Felipe
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
I just re-read that part of your script and you can if you want but you really don't need to tell us that he puts on clothes.
If this were a shooting script - then I might expect to have that detail included because I would need a shot for it.
However, this is a spec script and that detail is completely unnecessary to the story. I naturally assumed he would be dressed in later shots as did many other people - probably most - who read your script. And actually, that isn't entirely accurate since his state of dress wasn't even on my radar because I was concentrating on the story.
I understand that if the thing's not formatted properly, it's confusing to read. But what's the point if it doesn't work as a story? It's the stories we're trying to sell, not the format.
I agree in part, story is always key and really difficult to accomplish so if you do have a great story...
Don't spoil it by poor formatting - you're doing yourself and the story no justice at all.
As for this whole subject, I read what's written because it's hard to see anything that isn't written if you get what I mean. I also noticed the character in Felipe's story was naked which I commented on at the time...
I guess my first question would have to be about Jackson... was he nude throughout? And if so, I don't want to know where he keeps his lighter.
But it didn't harm the story in anyway and it was pretty obvious it just a simple error which is easy fixable. On the other hand, maybe he was supposed to be naked throughout? I didn't really know because I can only read and then hopefully "visualize" what the author has written. I was just guessing at the end of the day, that it was in fact an error.
People forgave Kimmie May's dialogue as they forgave my character's nudeness. They certainly didn't fail to mention it in their notes though. Felipe
Somehow I missed alot of these recent posts.
Felipe, I didn't mean to throw you under the bus here at all, as I think you know. But, in response to your quote here, I think most peeps liked Kimmie May's dialogue and it's probably a reason many voted for it. Her dialogue gave her character and whether or not it was annoying to some, it certainly made her who she was intended to be.
Cornie, I have to disagree with your comment about Felipe not needing to address the character's nakedness. Jackson is clearly described as being nude in the 2nd passage of the script. This scene continues onto Page 2, where Jackson walks into the bathroom, obviously still nude. In the new scene "BATHROOM", it's assumed (by me, at least), that this is a continuous scene, as there isn't any time element in the Slug. It's written as a Mini Slug, but it still has "INT.".
What's the point? The point is that anytime you have naked peeps banging each others lights out, you need to think about how you're going to transition into the next scene, if it's indeed continuous from the last, as this appears to be.
You guys may start screaming again that I'm being too picky, to technical, too exact, but my reply is, Why? Some things like this make no difference, while others do.
For instance, if the scene cut out before Jackson got out of bed, and started up with him in the bathroom with the door closed, technically, he could have put clothes on in between. But, I';d still recommend noting that he's now dressed.
And that's where you and I agree. It was definitely a mistake on my part and I don't hink it should just be forgiven. I welcome people letting me know they noticed it, even though I posted about having caught that mistake before my script was even posted and knew it was going to cause an uproar.
What I don't agree with is your opinion that someone should just put a script down when something like that happens. If they are into the story, it's no reason to stop reading.
I'd much rather have that mistake in there than have dialogue or a storyline that just turns people off. Both can be fixed, but I argue that a blatant omission such as a naked character is a much easier fix, therefore much less of a reason to stop reading a script.
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
Felipe, I never said that someone or I would put a script down because of an error like this. Hey, I didn't put it down, and you know I did put some down.
I know you didn't put it down. But it seemed like you were making an argument that scripts with those types of mistakes should warrant readers to put them down. If you are a reader for a company and your job is to find worthwhile scripts, it makes sense to not give glaring issues like that a chance, but we're talking about a OWC here.
I know you're talking about reading scripts in general, but if you are going to write a script where the reader can't use his own imagination a little bit, that script would be thousands of pages long.
The reader has always had to fill in the gaps, some bigger than others. If I read every script exactly how it's written and didn't fill in the details to add atmosphere, most scripts would be about people standing around in rooms with no walls or floors because most scripts don't escribe these things unless necessary.
'Artist' is not a term you should use to refer to yourself. Let others, and your work, do it for you.
I was saying it didn't matter to Felipe's story whether or not the character was nude. I pictured it the way I would shoot it. And it probably would be shot with the character dressed with his pants pulled slightly down or maybe in his underwear.
Those are the realities of the shoot - the author's vision of nudity or when the character gets dressed means nothing from a production standpoint (at least for this script and probably for many others). I am very certain that particular stretch of nudity won't be in the final film - no matter who might shoot it.
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What you read or what you see?
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