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I received an e-mail today from someone posing as a friend in need, trying to con money from me. The following is the discussion I had with him. Start at the bottom and read up:
Quoted Text
Mark,
I just got back from Western Union. They informed me that any and all moneygrams being sent to you, or from you, are being held by the US federal government. Apparently, you are still on their watch list over that blood diamond scam that you ran six years ago.
Is there any other way I can get the money to you? Even pay your hotel stay with my credit card. Atleast this way, you'll have a place to stay and food to eat. And you'll have a place to bring those Phillipino ladyboys I know you like.
Let me know.
Phil
From: Maltose Express To: Phil
Patricia is fine..Kindly do that and get back to me as soon as possible.
I just spoke with Western Union. They messed up with the money order and I have to go back to the office to refile. I'll give you the correct number as soon as I can.
What about Patricia?
From: Maltose Express To: Phil Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2013 6:54 PM
I tried the number, it didn't work out. You can call the western union agent to confirm the number or you can send the western union receipt to me so that i can check myself.
Here's the confirmation number. Let me know when you get back.
3057647795-5893475
Phil Knuttsakk
From: Maltose Express To: Phil
Glad you replied back,I have nothing left on me right now and I was lucky to have my Life and passport with me it would have been worst if they had made away with my passports,you can have it wire to my name via any Western Union outlet I'll show my passport as ID to pick it up here,I promise to refund it back as soon as i arrive back home. Here's the info you need:
Name: Mark Szamatulski Location: 76,Timog ave,quezon Country: Manila Philippines
As soon as it has been done, kindly get back to me with the confirmation number.Let me know if you are heading to a western union outlet now..
Sorry to hear about this. I can send you a thousand dollars, tops. How do I get it to you?
Phil Knuttsakk
From: Maltose Express Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2013 5:49 PM Subject: Sad Trip!!! Urgent Response Needed
I really hope you get this fast. I could not inform anyone about our trip, because it was impromptu. we had to be in Philippines for a program. The program was successful, but our journey has turned sour. we misplaced our wallet and cell phone on our way back to the hotel we lodged in after we went for sight seeing. The wallet contained all the valuables we had. Now, our passport is in custody of the hotel management pending when we make payment.
I am sorry if i am inconveniencing you, but i have only very few people to run to now. i will be indeed very grateful if i can get a loan of 1,800USD from you. this will enable me sort our hotel bills and get my sorry self back home. I will really appreciate whatever you can afford in assisting me with. I promise to refund it in full as soon as I return.
I had a supposed agent in India e-mail me and tell me that a big name Indian director/producer wanted to produce a script he saw on the boards. I just needed to send this some money to get the ball rolling. After some talking with this guy, I had him agree that I would be paid sixty thousand dollars for my script.
The best part was that this script was a two page SNL-like sketch. And I'll admit it wasn't a good one. If you want to read that thread (it's a long one), click here.
I had the microsoft call the other day saying my system had a virus and I needed to pay to get rid of it. I thought here's my chance to have some fun... and then my mind went blank - my final response was - ahhh, i own a mac - they hung up then.
Apparently Mila Kunis wants to meet up - I'd be so disappointed if I was sending those emails to the trash can in error and leaving frustrated asking her friends why I won't reply . . . Life is full of risks Mila . . .
Chris, you should look at it this way: when I'm wasting their time, it's that much less time they have to steal from others. I know it's only a few minutes, but if everyone were to do this, that time would add up.
Hey, look - more pranks on Nigerian Princes - this time from an ex-Seinfeld guy. Phil had the right idea! Now, if only there's SOME way to get this guy to read the Nigerian Job...