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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...     General Chat  ›  Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris! Moderators: bert
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  Author    Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris!  (currently 3846 views)
dogglebe
Posted: March 10th, 2014, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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The man who built the house he was born in!




Phil
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DustinBowcot
Posted: March 11th, 2014, 2:17am Report to Moderator
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That should be stuntman vs bear...
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 11th, 2014, 6:58am Report to Moderator
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Mortals have birthdays...

Chuck is carbon dated!

Shawn.....><
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dogglebe
Posted: March 13th, 2014, 10:44am Report to Moderator
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Leave Chuck Norris alone!  Don't diss a man who lost his virginity before his father did.


Phil
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 8:24am Report to Moderator
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I dare you to say that to Chuck's face.

Oh wait...

No one has ever seen Chuck's face

And lived!

Shawn.....><
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dogglebe
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 8:38am Report to Moderator
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When Chuck Norris steps in a puddle, he doesn't get wet; the puddle gets chuck!


Phil
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 10:50am Report to Moderator
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It can't be Chuck's birthday...

Chuck died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Shawn.....><
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dogglebe
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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One time, Chuck Norris saw his reflection in a mirror and had a staring contest with himself.  Six days later, he won.


Phil
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Dreamscale
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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If CHuck saw Shawn's avatar pic of his face in mean mode, it could be an epic stare down and confrontation.

Damn, dude...you look like a badass...but I know in reality, you're a candyass!  
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dogglebe
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 8:37pm Report to Moderator
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Jesus has a t-shirt that reads, 'Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.'


Phil
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 8:47pm Report to Moderator
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I read somewhere that the epic masterpiece movie, 300, was inspired when the writer actually witnessed Chuck shaving.

Shawn.....><
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dogglebe
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.  There's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.


Phil
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Ledbetter
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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Of course not! Chuck created sperm just to create himself.

I also read that the double helix was first discovered from discarded dental floss Chuck left at a Red lobster.

Shawn.....><
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Scoob
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 9:35pm Report to Moderator
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Jokes aside, Chuck was involved in some pretty gritty flicks.
The "Missing In Action" films always make me smile but they have a very disturbing backbone.
"Delta Force" could care less about relations with the middle east, akin Rambo 3, but is still an enjoyable , if not mindless, romp of action.
I also digged Chuck's tsngle with the Myers-clone, in some film I can't recall, but he sent him flying down a sewer.



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Ledbetter
Posted: March 14th, 2014, 9:45pm Report to Moderator
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Huh?

This whole thread is about Chuck and his awsomness...

In fact, Chuck called me

And said if he wasnt busy cleaning up the Russian bullshite

He would kickyour ass for not honoring his day.

Shawn.....
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