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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...     General Chat  ›  11:07 the short movie Moderators: bert
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  Author    11:07 the short movie  (currently 3567 views)
irish eyes
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 8:20am Report to Moderator
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Well here it is in all it's glory

11:07 The Movie

11:07 The Script

Thanks

Mark

+++++

1107 2 from Fermin Gaekel on Vimeo.




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Don  -  May 3rd, 2014, 9:01am
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rc1107
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 8:24am Report to Moderator
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He finally got it to you!  Nice!  The early version I saw was great.  I'm heading out the door now, but can't wait to check this out when I get back!

- Mark


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SAC
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 11:17am Report to Moderator
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Hey Mark,

I'm working right now so at least I have an excuse to be perusing the boards on a Saturday!

I took another look at the film. Watched it once before if you remember, and wasnt quite taken with the second half, or the actors. But on a second viewing it was better actually. It seemed everyone involved really kinda got it, and it was touching--a vibe I didn't get on the first viewing.

But well done for you. Congrats, pal!

Steve



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SAC  -  May 3rd, 2014, 11:55am
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DV44
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 12:42pm Report to Moderator
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Mark,

The film turned out great!  I remember reading the script awhile back and the seeing the emotion and comedy you had throughout the couples progression. IMO, the actors did a wonderful job portraying that and it's awesome to see something you took the time and effort to write come to fruition.

Congrats on future success!
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irish eyes
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Marsha
He finally got it to you!  Nice!  The early version I saw was great.  I'm heading out the door now, but can't wait to check this out when I get back!


No probs, I figured you might not have any time now, maybe you check it out on your private jet


Quoted from Steve
I took another look at the film. Watched it once before if you remember, and wasnt quite taken with the second half, or the actors. But on a second viewing it was better actually. It seemed everyone involved really kinda got it, and it was touching--a vibe I didn't get on the first viewing.

But well done for you. Congrats, pal!


Yeah it does have a better feel to it and I particularly like the Mother Theresa quote.


Quoted from Dirk
The film turned out great!  I remember reading the script awhile back and the seeing the emotion and comedy you had throughout the couples progression. IMO, the actors did a wonderful job portraying that and it's awesome to see something you took the time and effort to write come to fruition.

Congrats on future success!


DIRK!!! How you been buddy?  Do you have anything new out?
Thanks for the kind words, you were one of the first to comment on the script. He did a nice job and was pleasure to work with.

Mark


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Mr.Ripley
Posted: May 3rd, 2014, 11:38pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats on getting this made. I've always loved the short. The film...is different on how I envisioned it to be but at least you got it made. The red headed woman did a fine job. The guy doesn't look much like a nerd to me but he is funny in here. Lol.

Is this going to any film festivals?

Gabe


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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irish eyes
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 6:17am Report to Moderator
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Hey Gabe thanks for checking it out. I believe he's gonna enter it into a festival.

Hope all is well buddy

Mark


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Toby_E
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 6:21am Report to Moderator
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Solid stuff, Mark


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DV44
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 10:27am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes



No probs, I figured you might not have any time now, maybe you check it out on your private jet



Yeah it does have a better feel to it and I particularly like the Mother Theresa quote.



DIRK!!! How you been buddy?  Do you have anything new out?
Thanks for the kind words, you were one of the first to comment on the script. He did a nice job and was pleasure to work with.

Mark


Doing well over here on my side of the country. Nothing new out but I'm continuing to write a feature, hoping to be finished sometime this century.   Have you got around to watch Sixteen Candles yet?
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irish eyes
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 11:44am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Toby.

Dirk... good to see you keeping busy. I still haven't watched " The sixteen wish cow candles"

It's on my list :

Mark


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DustinBowcot
Posted: May 5th, 2014, 1:00pm Report to Moderator
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wow, very nice. Could have been better here and there but you work with what you can get on a budget. Hopefully this leads to bigger and better things. Well done, mate.
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irish eyes
Posted: May 6th, 2014, 6:52pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks a lot Dustin, glad you liked it.

Mark


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Nomad
Posted: May 7th, 2014, 4:28pm Report to Moderator
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Mark,

I read your script a while ago and I remember it tugging on the heartstrings, so I congratulate you there.  Plus just getting to see your work come to life is a feat in and of itself.

However, while I can't fault any of the actors for their performance, because acting is difficult, the editing and directing left much to be desired.

Here are a few things I noticed:

  • At one point early on, the letterbox shifts slightly.
  • The ADR for the older actress' voice was distracting.
  • The shots lingered too long.
  • There weren't enough extreme close ups of the clock showing "11:07", the title of the movie.
  • The font for the editor's name changes in the credits.


Please don't think I'm being unnecessarily harsh with my critique.  I'm just pointing out some things that could improve the movie before it goes out to any festivals.

Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
THE BRIDGE 8pg-Horror
SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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Forgive
Posted: May 7th, 2014, 6:06pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Mark! Congrats! Congrats! Well done - I didn't even know this had been picked up - you've had a really good job done on this - could've gone wrong in lots of ways, but it's been nicely envisioned - and most of the dialogue's been stuck to, 'cept most peoples' favorite... he wanted to see the score?? Boo!! He found the remote!

Well - this has got to make up for the season that can no longer be mentioned - I couldn't even listen to the Man C game today, but I heard the result... But what is the sweet without the bitter? Now didn't I read that in some script somewhere??

Great stuff - well done.
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Heretic
Posted: May 7th, 2014, 7:12pm Report to Moderator
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Script was excellent. Film was up and down for me, but some key moments from the actors and some particularly good-looking shots kept me going. As Jordan notes above, the editing's a little slow-paced and the film becomes unnecessarily long.

A credit to the strength of your work, Mark. Absolutely not my kinda thing at all, but I happily sat and watched it. Good stuff.
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irish eyes
Posted: May 7th, 2014, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Jordan
I read your script a while ago and I remember it tugging on the heartstrings, so I congratulate you there.  Plus just getting to see your work come to life is a feat in and of itself.

However, while I can't fault any of the actors for their performance, because acting is difficult, the editing and directing left much to be desired.

Here are a few things I noticed:

At one point early on, the letterbox shifts slightly.
The ADR for the older actress' voice was distracting.
The shots lingered too long.
There weren't enough extreme close ups of the clock showing "11:07", the title of the movie.
The font for the editor's name changes in the credits.


Please don't think I'm being unnecessarily harsh with my critique.  I'm just pointing out some things that could improve the movie before it goes out to any festivals.


Thanks Jordan and it's ok I had quite a few cringeworthy moments watching it myself.

The ghostbuster scene was too short for me.
The 50's scene was a let down for me, it was all about a proper massage and then discovering the remote.
The 60's scene he made the wife out to be sick... slightly confusing.
but the big kicker was the final scene... as I wrote it, I felt the shot should have focused on the clock and a closeup of her face, then slowly pull away to reveal the husband not there.

Don't get me wrong, Fermin was an absolute pleasure to work with, he responded within a day or 2, always kept me up to date and worked with the budget he had... so I'm entirely grateful.

and overall I'm happy with it... put in on the resume


Quoted from Simon
Hey Mark! Congrats! Congrats! Well done - I didn't even know this had been picked up - you've had a really good job done on this - could've gone wrong in lots of ways, but it's been nicely envisioned - and most of the dialogue's been stuck to, 'cept most peoples' favorite... he wanted to see the score?? Boo!! He found the remote!


Lol thanks a lot Simon, as I told Jordan above, that was a gripe of mine when I first saw it. The remote was a funny scene if I do say so myself

and I'm not mentioning the football... ok bring on sunday Liverpool win, Andy Carroll to finally pay back some of our money with a winner against city


Quoted from Heretic
Script was excellent. Film was up and down for me, but some key moments from the actors and some particularly good-looking shots kept me going. As Jordan notes above, the editing's a little slow-paced and the film becomes unnecessarily long.

A credit to the strength of your work, Mark. Absolutely not my kinda thing at all, but I happily sat and watched it. Good stuff.


Thanks for your kind words Heretic, it was a quick turnaround. I wrote this in 2 hours last year, submitted it, Don posted it a day later and 1 week after that it gets picked up. Less than a year he made it.

I hoping he enters it in a festival or 2

Thanks again

Mark


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stevie
Posted: May 7th, 2014, 10:39pm Report to Moderator
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Mark, your next project:

'25 Years And Waiting - The Title Movie'.

Filmed on location in Liverpool and around England

>



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irish eyes
Posted: May 10th, 2014, 9:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Stevie
Mark, your next project:

'25 Years And Waiting - The Title Movie'.

Filmed on location in Liverpool and around England


I was thinking more of Titanic 2 - The Aston Villa story...

Mark


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